


Curiosity Caught the Miko

by CountessMillarca



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship/Love, Loneliness, Post-Canon, Sexual Content, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2017-12-13 10:27:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 43,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CountessMillarca/pseuds/CountessMillarca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the well closed, Kagome got stuck in the past. Trying to overcome her grief over Inuyasha's rejection, she focuses her time and attention on a very peculiar daiyoukai, making his life difficult and colorful in turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Questions Left Unanswered

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. All credit belongs to Takahashi, Rumiko-sensei.

Kagome gazed at the Bone-Eater’s Well, eyes unseeing, mind heavy. A waft of breeze billowed flower petals all around her, and a familiar gruff voice broke through her musings.

"What are you doing here all alone, Kagome? It's getting dark…you know it's dangerous around this time."

"I am just…can I ask you a question, Inuyasha?" Kagome began to explain, but instead turned to smile at the red clad hanyō with a thoughtful expression.

"You're going to ask anyway even if I refuse, ain't ya? What is it?" Mirth was belying Inuyasha's miffed tone, his lips curved in a half-grin.

"Do you think your father loved both yours and Sesshōmaru's mother?" Her tone was serious, her stare contemplating. It took Inuyasha aback for a fragment of a second.

"What? Why are you asking such nonsense, woman? How should I know that? I never met the old man!" Inuyasha's eyes had grown wide at the strange question. He was quite sensitive when it came to matters regarding his parents, but deep down his discomfort came from another source. He may act in an oblivious manner at times, but he was not stupid. He knew why the miko asked such a thing. After the well had closed, effectively trapping her in this time, she had been expecting an answer from him – one he delayed in giving for fear of losing her from his side.

"I wonder sometimes… He already had a mate and an heir. Why leave them in favor of a ningen hime no less? He must have known the repercussions of his actions. Did he not love them? Did they not love him in turn? Is that the reason Sesshōmaru became so cold and misanthropic?" Her questions were more addressed to herself than the inuyōkai listening carefully. Still, Inuyasha answered.

"Keh, I don't know… I remember my mother faintly. She was beautiful and kind. It's no wonder the old man fell in love with her. As for Sesshōmaru…when I met him, he was the same cruel bastard that he is now. I've never met his mother, but if she's anything like him…I can't blame the old man." Inuyasha exhaled a deep sigh, his eyes softening at the memory of his beloved mother.

"Look, those things happened a long time ago. There is no point in digging up the past now. Let it go… I'll wait for you in Kaede's hut, but if you take much longer, I'll come drag you there myself!" It was half-joke and half-warning. He then turned his back, leaving her to ponder on her thoughts alone. The weird mood the miko was in lately was making him uncomfortable to be near her.

"Alright, I won't take long." Kagome nodded her agreement as her mind resumed her strange musings. An image of what Inu no Taishō must have looked like appeared on the front of her thoughts – a mix of Sesshōmaru and Inuyasha. Tall and lean-muscled with an ethereal yet slightly rugged beauty. Silver-silk hair, gold-metal eyes, burgundy stripes, soft fur draped on his wide shoulders, gleaming armor covering his lithe form. He must have been a sight to behold. Any woman, even more so a human woman unaccustomed to such perfection, would have fallen victim to such lures.

"We have much in common, don't we, Izayoi-san?" Kagome laughed tonelessly then opened her eyes to gaze at the sacred tree that had sealed her heart along with the hanyō trapped on its bark fifty years ago. He had been her beginning in more ways than she could count. Companionship, friendship, love. Yet now it was time to make it her end as well. He would never grace her with the latter, at least not in the way she craved, so she had to be content with the former two. They were all she had left to hope for and she would not throw them away in misguided impulse and wounded pride.

Exhaling a long sigh, she shook her head to clear all remaining thoughts of the bitter truth. She was not the one Inuyasha had chosen and she would never be the one he turned to for comfort either after the loss of his first true love. Perhaps, it was for the best as well. Her heart constricted painfully at the reminder of the other miko. Was this how Sesshōmaru's mother had felt when her mate chose another? No, she must have felt a thousand times worse… Inu no Taisho was her mate, not a hopeless dream she had reveled in for a time. Perhaps, she had more in common with the unknown woman than with Izayoi after all…

Kagome began her slow retreat back to the village still plagued with dark musings of illicit affairs and unattainable dreams. As she was reaching the familiar, old hut, a large shadow passed through her clouded vision, forcing her head up to gaze at the reason.

"Sesshōmaru…" Soft-voiced, full of awe, she peered at him under her lashes.

A smile curled the corners of her lips as her previous thoughts resurfaced, forlorn and strained, but she froze when he cast down half-lidded eyes to meet her gaze. There was unnamed emotion in the gold of his eyes, but she could not decipher what was hidden there as was always the case with him. He was a difficult man to understand and Kagome had never actually made the effort. Yet now that the question had snaked its way into her mind, she found herself curious in knowing the answer to the enigma that was the daiyōkai. What had made him assume this stoic and dispassionate demeanor? Luckily for her, she had all the time in the world to break through his hardened shell, she thought, smiling at the prospect. It would prove a great way to distract herself from the loneliness that awaited her from now on as well.


	2. Love Has Many Forms

The sun had not yet broken through the last dark of the night when Kagome asked Rin for her help in gathering medicinal herbs, but it shone bright and warm now. Kagome smiled a sweet smile at the teenage girl.

"Do you like living in a human village, Rin-chan?"

"I do like it!" Rin's voice was filled with joy, her smile radiant. "Everyone has been really kind to me here unlike the village where I was born. I am very happy to make new friends." Her voice softened then, her smile turned bittersweet. "But I miss traveling with Sesshōmaru-sama."

Kagome glanced at the girl curiously. "I thought you were mostly traveling with Jaken and Ah-Un. Wasn't Sesshōmaru absent all the time in his quest to defeat Naraku?"

"Hai." Rin's neck tilted in a nod. "Sesshōmaru-sama rarely traveled with us and, even when he did, his presence could best be described as _silent_." Rin giggled as she remembered how her lord would always assume a seated position near the camp without speaking more than a few words mostly to chastise the unfortunate imp for his misconduct.

Kagome nodded once, joining the girl in laughter. "That I can believe! He is a man of few words, isn't he?"

"Well, he speaks through actions though. He made sure I was always fed, clothed, and bathed properly. He, also, ordered Jaken-sama to cater to my every need like telling me stories or gathering flowers with me. Jaken-sama certainly did not like that. I think he has developed a severe fear of rocks because of that." Rin laughed with mischief at the poor yōkai's sufferings at the hands and boots of his lord.

"Hm, that slimy toad surely deserved all of the punishments. He can't hold his tongue for the life of him." Kagome made a grimace as she recalled all the rude comments the tiny yōkai had graced her with these past years after their first encounter.

"I think Jaken-sama was jealous of me at the beginning, but I believe he likes me now. When Sesshōmaru-sama last visited, he brought me a new kimono as a gift. I know for a fact he did not choose it by himself because he rarely steps foot inside villages, be it yōkai or ningen. Jaken-sama must have purchased it. The pattern of the kimono has my favorite flower on it… I think Jaken-sama misses me as well." Rin's lips curved in a sad smile and Kagome felt a pang of regret at having separated Rin from her pack. It had been her suggestion to let the girl stay at a human village and learn the ways of human life. She would soon reach the age when marriage proposals would be acceptable for her; Kagome wanted Rin to be prepared in the case that someone actually was brave enough to ask for her hand of the daiyōkai.

"You can always return to your travels with Sesshōmaru if you wish it, Rin-chan." Kagome stroked Rin's hair, encouraging her, but Rin shook her head.

"I am happy to be amongst my kind, Kagome-sama. I think I would only be a burden to Sesshōmaru-sama now and my life is not infinite. I have many things to learn and I'm sure Jaken-sama takes good care of our lord. He reminded me of a nagging mother at times." Rin erupted in a fit of laughter as she recalled the tiny imp trying to convince his lord to rest after each time he got injured and Kagome stifled a laugh at Rin's description of the green toad. An image of Jaken in a white apron waving a giant spoon around came to her mind and she couldn't help the laughter from spilling out anymore.

"I'm sure Sesshōmaru's mother would be appalled if she ever heard of that!" Kagome laughed harder when an image of a female version of the daiyōkai having a contest with Jaken for the position of Sesshōmaru's mother appeared in her thoughts.

Rin's eyes grew wide at the memory of the cunning inuyōkai. "Sesshōmaru-sama's mother is very beautiful and elegant. She can make Jaken-sama cry easily as well. I think she's even smarter than Sesshōmaru-sama."

Kagome's gaze mirrored Rin's, her curiosity piqued after the girl's words. "You have met her before, Rin-chan? What kind of person is she?"

Rin pondered quietly for a few seconds, brows furrowed and nose wrinkled. "She shares the same unearthly beauty as Sesshōmaru-sama, but her eyes reveal more wisdom and wit. I was too young to appreciate it at the time but – to quote your expression – she can give any male a run for his money." Rin winked at the curious miko with a smirk on her lips. She had been fascinated by Kagome's strange pattern of speech and had requested the miko to teach her these peculiar expressions. She had proven to be a fast learner much to Inuyasha's consternation as Kagome had used him as a primary example for the less than flattering ones.

Kagome hummed, thoroughly impressed by Rin's description of the mysterious inuyōkai. "How is her relationship with Sesshōmaru?"

"I believe she loves Sesshōmaru-sama very much, but she hides it behind witty banter. She probably knows her son would not appreciate open shows of affection and she respects that. She makes really inappropriate jests, too. Sesshōmaru-sama assumes an offended expression and Jaken-sama tries to smooth things out unsuccessfully, but she cares for her son's well-being. I think it's what you called 'tough love'?" Rin's features took on a puzzled expression at the unfamiliar phrase Kagome had taught her yesterday while 'sitting' the dog eared hanyō for an indiscretion.

A sly smirk spread on Kagome's lips at the thought of the regal creature's features marred in displeasure yet unable to answer back. "Hm…so there _is_ a person who can put that stubborn dog in his place. Now that is a sight I would pay to see it happen. I would very much like to meet this clever woman some tine in the future." Perhaps, next time Sesshōmaru visited she would broach the matter of an introduction. Maybe then her lingering queries on the distant past would be solved as well.


	3. The Twelve Labors of Hercules

Kagome had been cooking lunch when she felt a familiar powerful yōki approaching the village. A slow smile formed on the corners of her lips when she caught the faint waves of displeasure coating the demonic energy he usually kept leashed. This past month, Sesshōmaru had been appearing each week with a clear purpose – to drive away the impertinent man who had dared ask for Rin's hand. He had been subjecting the poor ningen in strange tests to gauge his skills before he deemed him suitable for his ward. Kagome had been enjoying seeing the slight marring on his features each time Tatsuma managed to complete the tasks given to him proficiently.

 _What ridiculous test has he come up with this time?_ Kagome hurried to finish her cooking in order to witness the display that was about to begin outside.

Rin was gazing toward the forest with a defeated expression when Kagome finally reached her.

"Rin-chan, did I miss anything?"

The girl sighed deeply. "Sesshōmaru-sama made a grand speech about how a male has a duty to provide for his mate and took Tatsuma on a deer hunt to test his abilities."

"Hunting?" Kagome reeled back with confusion. "This is bear breeding season. All hunters dare not approach the forest for fear of disturbing their mating rituals. What was Sesshōmaru thinking?"

"I think Sesshōmaru-sama was bothered that Tatsuma-kun had emerged victorious from any task he was assigned so far and wanted to give him a scare. I do not think him cruel enough to let Tatsuma-kun get mortally wounded, but I will have to do a lot of bandaging on minor cuts and bruises when they return. Not to mention mending a male's bruised ego…that one would be harder to heal than physical wounds. Sesshōmaru-sama is acting rather…childish." Rin shook her head, disappointment evident in her voice.

"I thought so, too. He has been acting more like Inuyasha ever since he learned of Tatsuma-kun's intentions to marry you." Kagome gave a light snort and both women erupted in laughter at the apt comparison. It soon ebbed under identical sighs.

"I warned you regarding this, Rin-chan. You should have confided in him when you first started developing feelings for Tatsuma-kun instead of hiding it and sneaking around behind his back. If you had given him more time to adjust to the idea of you belonging to another man, he might have taken it more demurely. Tatsuma-kun's marriage proposal must have been a gigantic shock for him." Kagome chastised the girl's unwise decision once more. When she had first caught whiff of the budding romance between the chief's son and Rin, she had taken the girl aside to give her the talk on men – humans and demons. It had ended just as she had predicted when Tatsuma finally mustered the courage to speak to the daiyōkai of his intentions after months of secret trysts and courting.

"I did have a rough idea of what would happen, but this is ridiculous. It's been a month now, yet Sesshōmaru-sama shows no inclination to cease these…what did you call them the other day, Kagome-sama?" Rin shot Kagome with a puzzled stare, a frown wedged between her brows.

"Hercules' Twelve Labors?" Kagome burst out in renewed laughter when Rin nodded, still quite miffed.

"I really hope that's not the case here because those were impossible for a mere mortal to accomplish. Do you wish for me to talk to him, Rin-chan? It might not bear any fruit, but I can at least try to sway the stubborn dog's opinion a little. I've suffered through Inuyasha's whining for years now… Sesshōmaru's juvenile behavior is right up my alley." Kagome squeezed Rin's hands in reassurance with a lop-sided grin.

"That would be wonderful, Kagome-sama. Thank you so much!" Hope birthed itself in Rin's eyes, and she hugged the older woman gratefully.

"Alright then. Let's go inside for now. There is no point waiting here all day… Inuyasha will be back soon for lunch, too. Maybe he can offer some insight on this as well. Like it or not, he shares this annoying trait of male obstinacy with his half-brother." The priestess winked at her as she stood, motioning for Rin to follow.

They had been enjoying some idle conversation when Inuyasha stormed in and headed straight for the stew with a hungry expression. Before he managed to reach the pot though, he got a sitting and an order to go clean himself, to which he obliged without a word back however with a pouting expression. They had been eating quietly after that until Kagome broached the matter at hand and Inuyasha surprisingly took his brother's side much to the women's shock and indignation.

"Keh, I might not like the jerk, but he's right in doing this. You are part of his pack, brat. It's his duty as an alpha to see to it that you'll be well cared for," was the silver haired hanyō's reply when Rin claimed these tests were unnecessary and harsh.

Kagome huffed. "Normally, I would agree with his logic, but he's being unreasonable, Inuyasha. I think he's already established that Tatsuma-kun is a suitable husband for Rin-chan. These trials only serve to soothe his wounded pride and to torture the poor man for stealing his ward."

"I will not be compared to a petulant whelp, miko." A deep voice echoed through the hut's thin walls. Kagome yelped in surprise while the hanyō laughed at her sudden cry. The daiyōkai had masked his aura but not his scent. Inuyasha thought it would be funny to see a verbal spat between his frosty brother and the volatile miko, so he had kept his mouth shut about Sesshōmaru's return. He would not be disappointed either…

"Then you should stop acting like one." Kagome hissed, peeved that he had managed to sneak up on her without her knowledge.

A highly uncomfortable and awkward silence filled the small hut as they stared each other down, mutely measuring one another up when Rin decided to intervene, concerned for her loved one's state.

"Sesshōmaru-sama, I do not see Tatsuma-kun. Did something happen to him during the hunt?" Trepidation colored her voice as Rin waited for her guardian's reply.

"I instructed him to skin the deer. You will find him outside." It was a low rumble. Sesshōmaru didn't even break eye contact with the impertinent miko.

Rin let out a relieved sigh as she hurried outside to help the man in his task and ask details about the hunt and his experience.

"Come on, Sesshōmaru. Don't be an asshole, let it go… She's just yapping out her mouth like she usually does. The wench can't keep quiet and you know it." Inuyasha tried to smooth things out in his usual rude manner, but all he achieved was to draw the attention of two heated stares.

"You will not command me ever again, hanyō."

"You should keep your mouth shut, Inuyasha. Sit."


	4. A Guardian's Duty

Kagome frowned as she helped Rin get ready for the wedding ceremony in a couple hours. "Rin-chan, why are you making such a sad face? It's your wedding day! That stubborn dog finally relented and gave permission for Tatsuma-kun to marry you. What's the problem now?"

"Well…I, uh, I don't think Sesshōmaru-sama would want to be present for a human marriage, but I would like for him to be there. I don't want to force him to come though…" Rin radiated dejection. Kagome knew she had fallen head first into a trap by making that question.

"Maybe he'll come, Rin-chan. You don't know that for sure… Look, he's already here at the outskirts of the village, so when the time comes, maybe he'll make a brief appearance…I hope?" Kagome babbled, trying to sound convincing, but she had a sinking feeling that was all wistful thinking on her part.

"You really think so?" Hope shone brightly in Rin's gaze and Kagome knew she was doomed. Now, she had to make true of her earlier words no matter the cost or run the risk of having a crying bride instead of a smiling one.

"You know what? Sango-chan will help you get ready while I, uh, go take care of some last minute details, ne? Besides, she wanted to talk with you about what happens after the wedding, so listen carefully. If anyone knows the hardships and wonders of married life, that's Sango-chan for sure with the man she chose. She definitely has some tips on how to sway a man to your will." Kagome laughed, relieved when Rin laughed with her. She then hurried outside to find the taijiya and explain to her what she needed.

Convincing Sango to keep Rin occupied for an hour had been the easy part. The hard part was what came next. Kagome almost groaned as she made her way toward the powerful yōki pulsating faintly near the forest.

"Sesshōmaru, I know you're here. Can you stop hiding and come here, so we can speak like adults? I must discuss an important matter with you." Kagome's voice rang sharp and high-pitched. She knew very well that her insulting words along with her raised voice would agitate the inuyōkai enough to make an appearance.

"You will address me with the proper respect, miko." It was a rumble but calm, too quiet, eerily so. Kagome turned to meet the passive face of the current Western Lord.

"You want me to add a proper suffix to your name? Very well, I'll make you a deal. I prefer to hear my name when others call out to me, so if you address me by name then I will add 'sama' to yours. I think it's a fair deal." Arched brow. Taunting smirk. Kagome stared up into his eyes, oozing belligerence and daring.

"State the matter you wish to discuss, miko." Sesshōmaru disregarded her offer blatantly, but Kagome could see his eyes darken in displeasure, his features harden into an even more stoic mask.

 _Fine. Have it your way, arrogant dog._ Kagome suppressed the urge to lash out, slighted by his dismissal.

"You've come all the way here. I'm assuming you'll stay until the wedding ceremony has been completed. Why not make an open appearance, too? Rin-chan will be extremely happy for your presence." Kagome shared the reason she was bothering him and herself, willing her rising temper to cool down.

The daiyōkai deigned to gift her with an answer after a charged pause. "It is a ningen wedding. My presence is not required nor will it be appreciated."

Kagome gazed at him, mouth agape. "You can't be serious, Sesshōmaru. Inuyasha, Kirara, Shippō, Hachi, even Kōga and his tribe are attending the wedding. Your logic is terribly faulted."

Sesshōmaru's lips thinned but she didn't give him a chance to speak.

"Also, as I said before, Rin-chan definitely _wants_ you by her side. You know, there is a custom in my time. The father or, in your case, the guardian of the bride has the important role of delivering her to the man who is to be her husband at the altar. I thought you were a traditional male. Why can't you grant this small favor to your ward? How hard will it be for you to be amongst other people for an hour? You can leave after the vows are exchanged you know…you don't have to stay for the celebration." Her tone was soft and placating but unyielding. She stared at him and waited.

Kagome's tactic of appealing to his weakness for Rin and his sense of honor by mentioning the duty of a guardian seemed to be bearing fruits, if his contemplating expression was anything to judge by.

"This is expected of a guardian?" he finally asked.

"It's what most parents do for their children, yes. I wouldn't have bothered you otherwise, but Rin is feeling down because of your absence. A bride should not be sad during her wedding. This is one of the most important moments of her life. Don't ruin it for her by being an –" He slashed her with a glare. "– uncooperative guardian."

Kagome laughed nervously. It was clear to both of them that was not the phrase she was going to use originally.

A slant of his neck, and Sesshōmaru was speaking. "Very well. I shall attend the wedding and escort my ward."

Her smile was near blinding. "Maybe you could stay a little longer for the celebration afterwards?"

"Do not push your luck, miko," was his expected answer, and Kagome shook her head, chuckling under her breath.


	5. A Woman's Wish

Kagome had been woken by Kaede to assist in an early birth a little after midnight. The birth had been difficult and had lasted till the early morning hours, but they had managed to deliver a healthy baby boy safely. Kagome had cleaned the infant while the elder miko took care of the mother. Now he was suckling hungrily at his mother's breast. The endearing sight had roused longing within the young miko. She had entertained thoughts of having her own family one day with Inuyasha, but that was no longer possible.

Memories of her first encounter with the surly hanyō reemerged in her mind and she smiled ruefully at the dreams of her teenage self. Despite his gruff demeanor, Inuyasha possessed a heart of gold. It was no wonder she had fallen in love with the dog hanyō. He always protected her and made her feel safe. Her immature mind had idealized him and these feelings of affection had soon escalated to love. But Kagome had failed to notice the obvious flaws of his personality. Inuyasha was not as strong as she had once thought him to be and Kagome was not as weak as he had once made her to be. She still loved him, yet she had forced herself to change the nature of that love into something else.

Her chaotic thoughts turned to Rin's marriage a few months earlier. It had been a joyous occasion and the couple looked so immersed in each other that she could not help but feel a tad envious of their happiness. Soon their family would grow as Rin already showed signs of her first pregnancy. In a few months she would be called to deliver yet another baby. The village brimmed with children's laughter, but none of these children was hers. Was it greedy of her to crave for someone to call her own? Someone to share her life with? To have his children and grow old together?

Inuyasha had gone to visit his mother's grave as today was the annual anniversary of her death. Izayoi had been denied this as well, but she at least had the chance to be with the man she loved for a time. She had a son with Inu no Taishō and Kagome believed she had been truly happy despite being shunned by her people for having an affair with a yōkai. Was Sesshōmaru's mother shunned by her pack for being discarded by her mate? Rin had pictured the female inuyōkai to be cunning and wise. She had probably fared better than Kagome when she had realized her beloved was out of her reach.

The questions about the obscure past had been occupying her mind with burning intensity for a while now, yet she dared not broach the matter whenever Sesshōmaru visited. At first, she thought it would be better not to bother the daiyōkai with such a personal discussion. Later on, she had the confidence to make her queries, yet ever since Rin's involvement with Tatsuma, he had been in a lethal mood. If she asked him now, she felt as if his thin control over his emotions would finally snap and she would be the unfortunate recipient of his wrath…but Kagome had always been a daredevil and had never cowered in the face of danger before. She decided it was time to finally get some answers out of the stoic creature. Her nagging curiosity would be the death of her one day.

The chance to talk with the solemn yōkai came sooner than she had expected when she saw him arrive at the village a few hours later. Inuyasha had still not returned from his visit to his mother's grave, so it was a perfect opportunity to talk with him alone without unwanted interruptions. She plastered a pleasant smile on her face and greeted the approaching demon just as he arrived before her.

"Konbanwa, Sesshōmaru. Have you come to visit Rin-chan again? I'm sorry to inform you, but you will have to wait. She has gone with Tatsuma-kun to visit his grandparents in the neighboring village." Her smile adopted genuine and warm qualities at his attentive nature where his ward was concerned.

"I shall return at a later time then."

Kagome barely had time to halt him as he made to leave. "Wait! Would you like to have a cup of tea with me? They should return soon."

Sesshōmaru spared her an apathetic glance, and Kagome feared he would reject her offer. When he inclined his head in an imperceptible nod, her face lit up.

"Thank you. Come inside and I will prepare the tea promptly."

Kagome motioned for him to follow after her as she entered the hut and made herself busy readying the tea. He lowered himself to the floor with a fluid motion that Kagome envied greatly. Everything he did carried an air of regality Kagome would never hope to attain even if she trained herself for a century. She brought the tea and filled their cups with as much grace as she could manage. Then she sat opposite of him in silence, waiting for him to speak first. Minutes passed by as they stared at each other and she found herself being hypnotized by his eyes.

She had never taken the time to study the dispassionate yōkai before, yet now she understood fully why his sire had gifted him with such a name. The Killing Perfection. Kagome had previously thought the name primarily represented his unrivaled battle expertise, but she realized it extended to other qualities as well. Otherworldly beauty, aristocratic stature, overwhelming power – perfection in its purest form. She had met him upon countless occasions so far, but she felt as if she truly saw him for the first time. Breath abated in her lungs when she realized he had been studying her as well.

His eyes bored into hers, causing her to still lest she break this fragile connection. Long lashes, black-slit pupils, irises the hue of fulgent gold, eyes slanted and highlighted by thin stripes. They were the traits that stood out the most in his elven features. While his impassive expression usually never changed, these eyes burned with emotion – and at this very moment, they were alight with something she was very familiar with. Curiosity.


	6. I Am Alpha

_Can someone drown in a sea of gold?_ Kagome didn't know how else to describe what she felt as she gazed into the daiyōkai's eyes. Never before in her life had words eluded her, yet she could not muster the strength to break free of this ensnaring spell he had woven around her. She felt as if something would break, shatter, disappear if she were to utter a single word at this moment. She remembered her grandfather advising her not to blink when faced with a dangerous animal. Sesshōmaru certainly reminded her of a predator – under the cold façade and calculative eyes lurked a savage beast, ruled by animalistic instincts. Seconds, minutes, hours passed in silence until all she could recognize was liquid gold.

"Miko." The rich metal of his voice broke through her mental stasis, awakening her from the weightless dream she had been floating in.

Kagome exhaled a long, shuddering breath, feeling thankful she had at least remembered how to breathe while trapped in this phantom prison. Her trembling fingers curled around the cup of tea in front of her and she winced when heat scalded her flesh. Faint, aromatic smoke rose from the cup, making her question her perception of time. Not hours, not minutes, perhaps not even seconds had passed. She blinked then, freeing herself from the compelling spell completely.

"I'm sorry, Sesshōmaru. I lost track of time… What did you want to ask?" Kagome was near breathless, overwhelmed by his larger than life presence inside the small hut.

"When is Rin expected to give birth?" Sesshōmaru appeared not the least affected by the magic she had been drowning in earlier.

Kagome contemplated his question while her heart slowed down to its usual beating rhythm. "Rin-chan? I would say she has at least two months before she gives birth."

"Are you experienced in such matters?" Signs of curiosity pooled in the gold of his eyes.

"I have assisted Kaede-baachan many times before, yes. You don't need to worry, Sesshōmaru. Rin-chan and her baby will be fine." Kagome gave him a reassuring nod, noticing her voice had become steadier at last. Not willing to revert back to the dangerous silence which seemed to elicit strange reactions within her, she spoke again quickly.

"Do inuyōkai pregnancies differ from ningen ones?" She blinked while she yet spoke, intrigued by the question her hazy mind had managed to come up with.

Sesshōmaru watched her closely, intently, but indulged her curious nature. "The only difference lies in the duration. An inuyōkai pregnancy lasts for six months."

Kagome squirmed with discomfort under his scrutinizing gaze.

"Inuyasha wishes for a pup?" His tone seemed disinterested; Sesshōmaru had made his own conclusions by her previous question, but Kagome could discern slight interest in his deep voice.

"Honestly? I have no idea." Kagome shrugged nonchalantly, hiding the unpleasant feeling that gathered in the pits of her stomach at the mere thought. "If he finds someone he wishes to spend his life with, I imagine that he would. Isn't it the same for you, too?"

"I was under the impression Inuyasha wished you for his mate." Sesshōmaru dismissed her last question blatantly; his arctic voice deepened, forgoing all of his previous indifference. "Has he not taken an oath to protect you as he has claimed before me time and again? Is he acting in a dishonorable manner now that I have no wish to take either of your lives? Tell me the truth." It was a command, low and dripping with aggression.

Kagome shivered, swallowed thickly. "He did promise to protect me, but that is all. He has kept that promise, too. I'm alive and well, aren't I?" Her voice held soothing nuances, trying not to agitate him further while she tried to understand the reason behind his reaction. It hit her like lightning, causing her gaze to widen in shock not a minute later.

"He is not your father, Sesshōmaru." A rueful smile tugged on her lips. "He did not betray me for another woman. He merely sought comfort in my presence since I reminded him so much of his previous love. But even that is over now."

"Inuyasha has inherited most of our sire's inadequacies. I have come to acknowledge him as my blooded kin. Hence, I am responsible for his actions as well. I will not allow him to act in an unbecoming manner. You belong to his pack, ningen you may be, yet pack mate nonetheless. Tell Inuyasha should he wrong you in any way, he will have to answer to his _alpha._ " His tone was dipped in sovereign, carried finality and inflexibility.

Kagome was once again surprised by his admission…and strangely touched.

"You are just looking for an excuse to beat up your brother now that you can't use Tetsusaiga as a valid reason, aren't you? I certainly appreciate the offer, but it's not necessary. Inuyasha is my friend, pack mate if you prefer, but no more than that." She laughed then, her laughter light, casual. And fake. Kagome didn't want to fuel the brother rivalry into greater proportions.

"Hn." Sesshōmaru's neck tilted in a subtle nod, understanding the hidden meaning of her words as he reverted back to silence.

"May I ask y-" the miko began to form a question – since the opportunity to talk about the distant past had presented itself before her – only to be interrupted by an angry yell.

"What the hell are you doing here, Sesshōmaru?" Inuyasha barged inside the hut like a rampaging bull, ruining the moment. He stopped dead in his tracks when he took notice of the miko and the daiyōkai, sitting together in a non threatening situation, drinking tea leisurely.

"Sesshōmaru came to visit Rin-chan, but she is visiting the neighboring village, so I offered him tea while he waited. No need to cause such a fuss, Inuyasha," Kagome explained quickly before things escalated to an unreasonable fight between the siblings thanks to Inuyasha's big mouth.

"Tell Rin I will return at a later time." Sesshōmaru inclined his head at her then stood to leave.

"Am I invisible, jerk!? Since when do you talk to Kagome and not me?" Inuyasha spat with surprise coating his angry tone. Sesshōmaru approached his younger brother in measured steps, stopping a few inches before him to cast down a condescending glare.

"I am your _alpha_. You will address me with respect, Inuyasha." It was an order and a warning, growl-like and absolute. It succeeded in shocking the hell out of his brother before he disappeared in a blur of fast movement.

" _A-alpha_!? What the hell? I'll never accept you as my alpha, asshole! Come back here and fight me like a man for the position, Sesshōmaru!" Flaming red spread across Inuyasha's cheekbones after the daiyōkai's declaration, but he made no move to follow behind him.

Kagome snickered, more than a little amused. _Heh? Trying to act tough when you're red as a tomato from embarrassment and joy…_ A smirk crept up her face at her friend's reaction to the unconventional way the daiyōkai had used to show his acceptance of him.


	7. The Birth of the Son of the Blood Moon

_Outside the Hut_

"The scent of blood is potent – too strong. If this continues, she will die." A growl emerged from Sesshōmaru's throat; his features were strained with agitation. He kept his gaze transfixed on the full moon, trying to ignore the pained screams coming from the small hut in short intervals. But he was losing the battle with patience the more the time passed and the suffering inside continued.

"Calm down, bastard! She's giving birth, not dying. It's natural for a little blood to be spilt. Keh, just sit tight and wait it out like a man." Inuyasha grunted with seeming indifference, but it was clear by the way his claws bit into the soft skin of his palms that he was feeling anything but calm.

"My wife will _not_ die! She cannot die! I won't allow it! RIN!" Tatsuma finally lost his composure after the daiyōkai's morbid remark, making a mad dash towards the fire lit hut, but stopped right before he nearly collided with a worn out miko.

"Enough! You're not helping the situation by working yourselves crazy with worry. Rin-chan is just having a difficult birth. She's too small and the baby is a bit larger than we expected, but there is no real reason for panic. Kaede-baachan has certainly dealt with more difficult births. It'll take a little while, but this will be over before you realize it. I can't be coming out every fifteen minutes to state these obvious things when I'm needed inside. Behave yourselves!" Kagome stated for the fifth time after Rin had gone into labor with an exasperated tone then dragged her tired body inside to resume her duties.

"Hn." Sesshōmaru resumed his moon viewing, his jaw set in stone, while Inuyasha gave the human male an awkward arm lock in reassurance.

* * *

_Inside the Hut_

"You're almost there, Rin-chan! Just a little bit more! One more push, sweetheart!" Kagome urged the exhausted girl when she finally spotted a bloody patch of skin making its shy appearance into the world.

"Aye, ye have done well, girl. 'Tis almost done." Kaede gave a quick nod as she brought the clean linens, ready to wrap the newborn any minute now.

"I swear I'm _never_ doing this again! You hear me, Tatsuma!? NEVER!" Rin vowed with a hissed scream as she gave one final push and a healthy wail reverberated through the small hut.

Kagome was not surprised when three males burst in right after the newborn's first cry. The old miko passed her the clothed bundle, exchanging places with her as she was more experienced in dealing with what came after the birth which Kagome accepted gratefully.

"Alright, who wants to cut the umbilical cord, so the proud mother can hug her baby for the first time?" She wiggled her brows toward the stunned men with a huge smile, but nobody moved. "You bunch of wimps. It's not gonna bite you. You can say it's a way for you to feel like you participated in the birth. How about it, Tatsuma-kun?"

The human man was already by his wife's side, stroking her matted locks with relief etched in his features.

"I will perform the duty." A rough-edged voice drew her attention back from the young couple and she graced its owner with a radiant smile.

"It is a son." Kagome barely heard him whisper with veiled awe before Sesshōmaru severed the cord with a shift motion of his claws.

"Yes, it's a healthy baby boy. Meet your son, Rin-chan!" The miko carefully placed the newborn in his mother's outstretched arms.

"H-he looks like you…" Tatsuma chocked back tears of joy at seeing his son for the first time.

"He's beautiful…" Rin half-laughed, half-cried; she pressed her son as close to her chest as possible without hurting him. Then she raised her wet lashes to gaze into Sesshōmaru's eyes shyly. "Tatsuma-kun and I, we gave it a lot of thought, and we would like for you to name him, Sesshōmaru-sama."

There was no trace of Sesshōmaru being shocked by her request on his regal expression, but both Kagome and Inuyasha could discern the slight fluctuations in his yōki after his ward's gracious offer. He approached the human pair with measured steps, asking for permission silently before Rin offered the small bundle to him with an adoring smile.

"Chizukirō." He spoke quietly, slowly. His eyes were less intense, softer, as he gazed at the tiny creature in his arms.

Inuyasha snorted with disbelief. "Son of the…Blood Moon? Only you could come up with that. What did I tell ya, brats? He doesn't have a decent naming sense."

"I think it's really fitting. All this blood…" Tatsuma whispered with a queasy expression, turning his attention back to his wife after he'd had his fill of seeing all the blood soaked linens lying scattered around them.

"Get it together, man! You're a father now!" Inuyasha patted him on the back with an ear-splitting grin, but faltered when his brother turned toward him, motioning for him to take the baby.

"Huh? No…no freaking way. I'm gonna drop it – I mean drop him! I ain't touching him till he's three…or five…or something!" the hanyō ranted incoherently, backing away from the advancing daiyōkai while everyone laughed at his frantic antics.

"You will be just fine, Inuyasha." Kagome cooed at the baby as she gently took him from the daiyōkai's embrace and showed Inuyasha the right way to hold him. His amber eyes were huge as he listened with rapt attention at the miko's instructions, nodding profusely.

"Thank you, Sesshōmaru-sama, for being here." Rin's voice came weak and breathless.

Kaede then ushered them all outside to resume with the aftercare.

"Wait, baba! What am I supposed to do with _him_!?" Inuyasha paced back and forth, panicked and nervous.

"Take him with ye. I'll summon for ye when she's ready to feed him." The seasoned miko's tone was firm, leaving no room for arguments.


	8. That Was Quick

If someone had told Kagome how things would turn out after Kōga's last visit a month ago, she would have laughed in their face and called them delusional. Instead, all she could do now was close her gaping mouth and focus her attention on the baby boy napping in her arms. She rocked the clothed bundle, making soft lulling sounds at the infant while she cast surreptitious glances toward the couple a few feet away. She couldn't catch their conversation due to her weak human hearing, but her eyes told her clearly what was happening.

 _I can't believe Inuyasha would go for a wolf after his constant whining on how bad they smell or how annoying they are._ Kagome was partly amused and partly annoyed at her hanyō friend.

Kōga had come to meet Rin's newborn son and brought a gift – as was common courtesy – a few weeks ago, but he hadn't come with Ginta and Hakkaku as usual. Instead, a female ōkami had accompanied him. She had introduced herself as Kamiko and had taken an immediate liking to the brusque hanyō. Kagome hadn't paid much attention since she never expected Inuyasha to respond warmly to the wolf's attempts, but she had been thoroughly mistaken. If she wanted to be honest, she had enjoyed seeing the female wolf challenging the hanyō to a duel for his…hand.

Kōga had explained to her that female ōkami were more assertive and competitive and liked to test a potential mate's strength before they made a final choice. The miko didn't find this strange considering Ayame had practically mauled Kōga in her fervent pursuit of him. Still, she hadn't expected Inuyasha would lose the match or that he would be interested in the wolf's claim. As it turned out, she had been flat out wrong; not only had the hanyō _allowed_ Kamiko to one up him, but he was also actively chasing after her on his own.

The initial shock had faded away after the first week, but the miko still felt a light pang of hurt at seeing Inuyasha moving on without her. She knew this would happen one day, but she hadn't expected it so _soon_. Kagome had realized that even though she claimed to have given up on him, she always carried a little bit of hope in her heart, much to her dismay. This new development gave her the last push she needed to finally let go once and for all. Inuyasha would never be hers and he deserved to be happy. If the wolf lady was the one for him then Kagome would give her consent with a radiant smile on her face. She really didn't like seeing Inuyasha's guilty expression whenever Kamiko visited. It reminded her too much of past occasions – memories she did not want to dwell on.

Exhaling a long sigh, Kagome watched the sleeping baby with a warm smile. Babysitting for Chizukirō had been her only comfort lately. She never had to mince her words or be careful of her actions around the tiny creature and she was greatly thankful for that small favor. She traced the smoothness of his cheek with a finger, mindful not to wake him, when the familiar yōki of his godfather infiltrated her senses. Sesshōmaru had been her only other comfort – which was ridiculous but utterly true. He came, brought presents, held Rin's son for an hour, then left – only to appear again after a few days and repeat the same routine.

"Greetings, Sesshōmaru," Kagome whispered with a small bow of her head in his direction.

The daiyōkai acknowledged her with a curt nod. "Miko." Then his attention was drawn to the same couple Kagome had been secretly watching not so long ago.

"Inuyasha will mate the ōkami soon." Sesshōmaru's comment was casual, but his eyes gleamed with edge.

"M-mate? How can you tell? They've only just started going out." Despite shock suffusing her core, Kagome kept her voice hushed, rocking Chizukirō lightly.

The daiyōkai glanced at her with confusion after her peculiar wording, and Kagome laughed softly. She tried to explain, reminding herself that he was not accustomed with her weird expressions as Rin was.

"I meant that they have only begun courting? Is this an appropriate term for yōkai? In my time, couples usually wait to get to know each other better before they get married…erh, mated."

"Courting, yes." His chin dipped once. "Each yōkai clan has its own individual courting process. The ōkami seems to be the dominant in this case however. Their courtship period is short and simple. They begin by testing the strength of a potential mate. If they find their partner acceptable they proceed with scent marking and the mating ritual. It appears the ōkami has already scent marked the hanyō."

Kagome stared at him, perplexed, attempting to make sense of this weird courtship practice. "But…surely they must love each other if they decide to bind themselves together forever, right?"

"Not all matings are based on the emotion you call _love_ , miko. My sire is a prime example of that." It was drenched in apathy, too blunt, even for Sesshōmaru's standards, as if this discussion was a tedious matter. But Kagome could see the clenching of his jaw after the mention of his father.

"Did your father not mate your mother out of love?" Kagome dared ask since he had brought up the matter on his own. She really prayed the daiyōkai would finally grace her with an answer as she had been seething with curiosity for many months now.

Silence stretched between them. When Sesshōmaru spoke, his voice was heavy, his gaze heavier. "I do not know."

Kagome was well aware of what that heaviness meant. Sadness.


	9. Don't Leave Me Alone

Kagome stifled a small sigh. Sesshōmaru had been right in his initial assumptions. Inuyasha seemed completely taken with Kamiko, and their relationship had progressed faster than she would have liked. She eyed the couple in front of her with a troubled expression then buried all disconcerting thoughts deep in her mind. Plastering a warm smile on her face, she addressed the waiting yōkai with a friendly tone.

"You are getting mated soon, right? That's what you wanted to talk to me about?" Kagome broke the ice, cutting right to the chase. Inuyasha would never open the conversation with that line, but she had a feeling Kamiko was of the more opinionated variety. She liked the assertive female from what she'd seen so far and she hoped they could become close friends in time.

"Yeah…we are getting mated," Inuyasha murmured in his rough tone, his cheeks burning with embarrassment, but the miko could discern joy in his low voice.

"Then I guess congratulations are in order. Who would have guessed _you_ would be the one to end up as Kōga-kun's pack mate and not I." Kagome snorted with suppressed laughter in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"I – what!?" Inuyasha's gaze widened after he made the connection.

"Well, you are part of Kōga-kun's pack, aren't you, Kamiko-san?" Kagome asked the dark haired ōkami, still grinning.

"Yeah, Kōga is my alpha. I talked to him about this mating and got his approval, though he was not all that happy about it either." Kamiko laughed, amused, her voice carrying a husky undertone that Kagome envied greatly of the female.

If she wished to be honest, Kamiko was the type of woman who turned men's heads easily – long, chestnut curls, sea blue eyes, dark skinned, tall and lithe muscled. She would be the athletic type in Kagome's time. Her darker tones complimented Inuyasha's fairer colors quite nicely. They made a lovely couple, the miko thought, chuckling when Kamiko pulled on the hanyō's ear after he made a snide remark regarding her alpha.

"Well, it's a nice change to learn how to get along better, Inuyasha. You and Kōga-kun are quite similar in personality – no matter how much you want to deny it." Kagome took her joke even further, having fun in teasing her friend a little.

"If I knew it would mean living with him and seeing his wolf mug every single day, I wouldn't have agreed! Why didn't you tell me, Kamiko!?" Inuyasha whined pathetically with a sullen expression, causing the women to laugh harder at his antics.

"Um, wait… _living_ with him?" Kagome broke out of her laughing fit when his words finally registered in her mind, and Inuyasha assumed a sheepish expression.

Kamiko was the one to clear the miko's confusion. "We are yōkai, Kagome-neesan. I have a pack and I could never really fit in with humans. I think it would be good for Inuyasha, too." Her eyes beseeched Kagome to understand, guessing this would be a huge blow to the miko.

"Neesan?" Kagome stared at her with an incredulous gaze after the wolf's chosen suffix.

The female ōkami smiled warmly at Kagome, taking her hands within her own. "Yeah, that's what my pack members call you. I really hope we'll become _sisters_ in the true meaning of the bond."

"I'm sure we will, Kamiko-san. When will you be leaving?" The miko finally accepted the reality of her situation, choosing not to make things difficult for the couple. She could visit Kōga's tribe anytime she wished, and Inuyasha would surely come to check on her often. There was no reason to panic or throw a childish tantrum over this.

"We'll leave in the morning. The mating ritual is private or I would have invited you. You understand, right, Kagome?" Inuyasha replied instead of his intended mate with a boyish grin.

"Yeah, don't worry about me – I'll be fine. I'm still training under Kaede-baachan and I have started to build a life here. Chizu-chan would like some company soon, too…just so you know." Kagome teased him mercilessly, watching with amusement as his face flamed after her playful comment.

"I haven't forgotten my promise. I'll always protect you. Call for me when you need me, Kagome. _Always_." Inuyasha engulfed her in an awkward hug, taking in her scent as if trying to engrave it in memory. Kamiko gave the miko a warm hug as well right after him then they left her alone to digest the news.

"Be happy, Inuyasha," Kagome murmured under her breath. Her eyes burned as she watched their retreating backs with a shaking smile.

Sesshōmaru found her in that exact state when he arrived a few hours later. She was still watching toward the direction Inuyasha and Kamiko had left, dried tears staining her cheeks, and looking as if she would break from the evening wind's barest breeze. Kagome didn't even realize she had company until she felt something soft and warm being wrapped around her shoulders. She turned her gaze towards the source of the heat, faintly recognizing the daiyōkai's familiar pelt.

"They have left me behind – all of them. Shippō-chan, Sango-chan, Miroku-san, now even Inuyasha." Her voice trembled on her lips, her heart constricting tightly at the reminder. The daiyōkai remained silent, showing no other sign of acknowledging her monologue – other than the heavy presence of his yōki and the heat of his furs. Renewed tears rained down her face as she recalled all of her losses, then she finally regained a sliver of her usual liveliness.

"I – I'm sorry! I don't know what has gotten into me. You came here to see Chizu-chan, not listen to my pathetic rambling," Kagome sputtered, mortified that she was letting Sesshōmaru of all people witness her at her lowest.

"Chizukirō." Sesshōmaru corrected her with no real vice after he heard her endearment of Rin's son, succeeding in eliciting a sniffled laughter from Kagome.

"Hai, hai, _Chizukirō_. I'll call him that when he grows up to live up to the name. For now he's my Chizu-chan." A chuckle crawled out her throat and she raised her red-rimmed eyes, expecting to see a familiar scowl on the daiyōkai's face. Surprisingly enough, Sesshōmaru's rigid expression softened imperceptibly. He then turned to walk towards Rin's hut in search of said boy no doubt.

"Sesshōmaru, wait! Your pelt –" Kagome fumbled with the silky furs, embarrassed she had gotten them ruined with her remaining tears.

"I will return after I visit my ward. You may keep them until then."

"Thank you," Kagome whispered low, with gratitude, burying her face deeper in the soft furs.


	10. I Am Free

Kagome had been captivated by the blinding flames of the coming sunset, her gaze shadowed and transfixed on the setting sky. Her mind had been devoid of all thought. _Empty_. Her tears had dried long ago and with them her soul as it seemed. Inuyasha and Kamiko had departed a week ago to join Kōga's pack on the mountain he claimed as his home. Kagome had sent them off with a smile and a promise to come visit soon. It was always the same motif as her friends left her one by one. She would wave at them with feigned joy until they disappeared from her sight and she could finally allow her façade to die away.

She recalled the day when she had parted with her fox kit. Shippō had proclaimed himself mature enough to enroll in the kitsune school and study yōjutsu with his kind. A year had passed since then and her only comfort had been his periodic letters. Once a month she would receive word of his well being, sometimes even proof of his accomplishments as the letter would transform into a gift for her.

 _Where are you now, Shippō-chan? Why won't you visit me once in a while?_ Kagome desperately wished to catch even a glimpse of his auburn locks.

"Miko." A familiar baritone broke her out of her solitariness. Kagome turned to greet the owner of the deep voice, a practiced smile forming on her face out of habit.

"Konbanwa, Sesshōmaru. Are you coming or leaving?" Kagome hadn't even felt his yōki arriving. She had been out of sorts lately, so he could have come without her knowledge.

"Why do you smile, miko? Is it a ningen habit to feign emotion?" The daiyōkai raised a brow, not one to beat around the bush when something seemed odd to him.

"You can sense how I feel?" Kagome all but blurted, taken aback by his perceptiveness.

"I can tell your mood does not befit your expression – that is all." Sesshōmaru gave a slight nod, surprising her by taking a seat near her.

"I don't think it applies only to humans. We all have things we wish to hide. I feign cheerfulness even though I feel sadness and you – I can never tell what you are thinking. Are you happy, Sesshōmaru? Sad? Angry? Bored? Why do you bother with me?" Kagome pelted him with a barrage of hushed questions, her low voice tinged with sorrow. If he could already discern her mood then there was no need to pretend with him.

"You belong to this one's pack," Sesshōmaru replied solemnly as if this would magically solve all of her queries.

Kagome attempted to make sense of his words. "You think I am your responsibility then?" She could never understand pack mentality. Inuyasha had tried to explain the mechanics behind it once or twice, but she had never paid much attention as she was human.

Sesshōmaru gave a subtle nod, not bothering to explain himself with words. She shook her head at his unchanging attitude, a genuine smile curving the corners of her lips. His silent presence was reassuring in its calm ambience if she wished to be honest.

She smiled ruefully. "I miss my friends…" If he wished to know how she felt, she would tell him. Kagome had a feeling the daiyōkai could discern truth from lie anyway. It was a moot point to even try to lie in this case.

"Where is your pack, miko?"

"Shippō-chan left to study kitsune yōjutsu, Sango-chan and Miroku-san went to rebuild the taijiya village, and Inuyasha joined Kōga's pack after he mated Kamiko. I chose to stay here because I can't really fit in their lives anymore." Kagome merely relayed the events, her tone clipped, then a thought struck her.

"Enough about me… Where do _you_ live, Sesshōmaru?" She needed a distraction from her lonesome existence and she really didn't want the daiyōkai to think of her as a nagging fool.

Sesshōmaru stayed quiet, almost too quiet, gazing at the dark sky. The wind shifted through his silver locks, blowing them away softly.

"Nowhere."

The lovely sight he presented entranced Kagome for a few moments before his words finally registered in her mind.

" _Nowhere_?" Shock pierced through her haze. It couldn't be that the Lord of the West was… _homeless_ , could it? Kagome stifled a laugh at the ridiculous thought.

"I go wherever I please," Sesshōmaru clarified for her benefit, standing to leave.

Kagome exhaled a breath wistfully. "It must feel nice to be free of everything."

"Are you not the same, miko?" Sesshōmaru more stated than asked, stopping a few feet away, his head turned to the side. She found herself drowning in liquid gold, the intensity of his gaze rendering her speechless for a few seconds.

"I guess I am?" She was breathless, chest falling and rising. Kagome realized that she had no real ties to anyone or anything now.

"Then you can go wherever you please as well." Sesshōmaru spared her one last glance then took to the skies.

Kagome stood there, her feet planted to the earth and her eyes following after him until he disappeared from her sight. His words took root within her mind, awakening her fully to reality. He was right; she could go anywhere she wanted. She was a skilled miko and her services would always be wanted by any village. Her mind made up, she returned to Kaede's hut to inform her mentor of her newly made decision. She would travel the lands, helping people in need on her journeys. Perhaps then she could finally find a purpose in her life instead of lamenting the past on each passing day.


	11. Favors and Guardians

"Ye cannot be serious, child! Even with the Shikon gone, there are still many dangers lurking around for a woman to be traveling alone. Yer a capable miko, but yōkai are not the only evil creatures out there. Ye cannot fight against human bandits. Yer reiki will be useless and yer not adept with a sword – a bow will not provide much defense." Kaede argued with Kagome logically, trying to dissuade the younger miko from this risky journey. She understood that with Inuyasha mated and gone, Kagome would need to find a way to move on, but this was beyond anything she had imagined.

"I agree with Kaede-sama. If you wish to travel and offer aid to others then why not visit the taijiya village? You can stay with Sango-sama and Miroku-sama for a while; I'm sure they'd love that," Rin proposed as a slight compromise. She would be terribly sad without the older woman's company, but she understood her reasons for wanting to get away. Rin had Tatsuma and Chizukirō – a family of her own. She could understand with painful clarity that which the miko was missing from her life so much. Perhaps, she could find the answers she sought at the taijiya village, but traveling the unfamiliar lands alone would be suicide.

"I have made my decision. I may pass by Sango-chan's village during my journeys, but I'll not stay there for long. Besides, Kikyō was fine on her own and I will be, too. I know I am still lacking as a miko, but I'm not a weakling either. I know you worry about me and I love you all the more for it, but I can't go on like this – lost, hollow, alone," Kagome stated with firm conviction, her voice slightly faltering at the end.

"If only I was a bit younger –" Kaede exhaled a heavy sigh, lamenting her old age for the first time in years. The determined gleam in Kagome's gaze told her that her decision was already made, but she could not follow after the younger woman at her condition even if she wanted to.

"You must stay here and be the village miko either way, Kaede-baachan." Kagome shook her head, laughing after her mentor's words. She had no doubt that the seasoned miko would have insisted on coming with her had her body not been ravaged by time.

"When will you be leaving then, Kagome-sama?" Rin finally accepted the miko's decision in stride, though something gleamed in her eyes. It seemed that Rin had taken her decision the hardest and Kagome knew her absence would be mostly felt by Rin.

Kagome hummed as she went over a list in her mind. "I still need to gather supplies and prepare concoctions for many illnesses. It's best to be prepared after all. I think it will take me no more than three days to get ready for departure. Don't worry, Rin-chan! I won't disappear in the middle of the night."

* * *

"Konnichiwa, Sesshōmaru-sama." Rin greeted her guardian when he arrived a couple hours after the sun had risen. It was rare for him to visit so early in the day, but Rin could pretty much guess his reason for doing as such today. The daiyōkai acted in an indifferent manner most of the time, but she knew he cared for those he called his own. She passed her son to him out of habit, her gaze softening at the sight. He would make a great father if he ever decided to find a mate and settle down. Rin barely suppressed a laugh when she imagined Jaken babysitting for his lord's pups much like he had done for her in their travels.

"How is Jaken-sama? It's been a while since his last visit." Rin's expression turned wistful after her last thought. In all honesty, she missed the tiny yōkai even with all his nagging haughtiness.

"Do you wish for his presence?" Sesshōmaru lifted his locks behind his back. Chizukirō had been fascinated by their silver sheen, often making attempts to trap them within his short, chubby fingers.

"I would like to see him – yes." Rin nodded with enthusiasm, hiding an amused smile when the daiyōkai graced her son with a disapproving glance for his mischief.

"Then he will stay with you for as long as you wish," Sesshōmaru decreed without giving more thought to the matter. Rin would have pointed out that the tiny yōkai might object to that, but she knew the decision was made. In a way, Kagome and Sesshōmaru were more alike than anyone would have ever imagined when it came to Inuyasha and Jaken respectively, Rin thought, further amused.

"Kagome-sama decided to become a traveling miko." Rin's comment was casual, but she was well aware that her guardian knew of this fact already. In fact, she was certain this was the reason for Sesshōmaru's unexpected, early visit today. Kagome would depart at noon after lunch.

Sesshōmaru was quite used to feminine wiles thanks to his mother's cunning nature. He could surmise what Rin wished to discuss by the slight hunch of her shoulders and her guilty expression when he leveled her with a pointed stare.

"Speak your mind, Rin."

"Could you keep Kagome-sama safe? I know you like to travel alone, and I don't think she would wish to impose on you either, so I won't ask you to let her join in your travels. But could you check on her once in a while?" Rin chose to be completely honest with her guardian, understanding that there was no need to mince her words.

"I would have done as such regardless." Sesshōmaru ended their discussion, handing her son back to Rin as he exited the hut silently.

"Thank you, Sesshōmaru-sama," Rin whispered with a sweet smile after he had left. She rocked and cooed at her son, delighted when the imp's loud squawks were heard from outside after a few minutes.

"Ready to meet Jaken-sama?"


	12. In the Wilderness

Kagome had never felt more thankful for all the knowledge she had accumulated during their pursuit against Naraku up until now. She had a vague idea that survival in the wilderness alone would be a laborious task, but it was proving more difficult than she had expected. She exhaled a long sigh as she prepared her breakfast – one tiny fish she had miraculously caught – while she mulled over her choices. If she could reach a village soon, she could purchase food supplies at the very least. Kagome's only comfort had been her old but sturdy sleeping bag and the warmth of a camp fire.

She threw the fish bones in the small fire after her meal and brought out some paper and ink from her traveling pack. It had been a week since Kagome had left Kaede's village after emotional farewells and promises to write back at least once a month. She had taught Rin how to write and read, but she wasn't sure how to send back the letters now that she gave more thought to the matter. She chewed on her lower lip worriedly as she scribbled a few reassurances even though she wasn't feeling as confident inside. She could maybe ask a traveling person to deliver her letter for a small fee if he was heading in the direction of Kaede's village, but she wondered if she would be so lucky as to find such a person soon.

Kagome finished packing and extinguished the fire, taking care to erase all traces of her camping out in case any yōkai lurked around and decided she would make for a tasty meal. She then got back on the road, hoping to encounter a ningen village soon. Her expectations were met a few hours later when she came upon a small village. There were farmers working the lands, children playing around, women going about their daily work as she passed by. For the first time since she had begun her journey, a feeling of confidence filled her heart as the villagers gathered around, asking for her help.

"Miko – a miko has come!" Various voices and hands – old and young – surrounded her when they took notice of her miko garments, pleading for her healing abilities. This village didn't have the fortune of a resident miko and they relied on traveling miko for cures and ailment. They offered her food and lodgings for her services and Kagome spent her entire day tending to injured farmers, sick elderly and children, or pregnant women. Her body ached and her head felt heavy at the end of the day, but she was feeling very pleased with herself. This was the reason she had decided to make this journey – _to feel needed_ – and these people needed her.

Unfortunately, she was forced to alter her plans of a rich meal and comfortable bedding when the village chief pleaded for her assistance in exterminating some nekoyōkai that had been terrorizing the village lately. Kagome could not very well decline his request, but she couldn't afford to put the village into more danger by fighting on its grounds. She opted for camping out once more at the outskirts of the village near the forest and wait out for the wild nekoyōkai to appear. She would intercept them before they reached the village and if they couldn't be convinced to stop their mischief then she would scare them away. The thought of exterminating them left a bitter taste in her mouth and she really prayed the yōkai wouldn't force her hand. She was not averse to killing their leader to make her example, but she really hoped to avoid any senseless killing.

The villagers had at least provided her with the ingredients to make some plain vegetable soup and she busied herself by lighting a fire and preparing her meal. She was halfway through her dinner when she felt the faint presence of another being intruding upon her camping place. She could sense a weak yōki – nothing worth worrying – so she stayed perfectly still until her guest decided to make an appearance. It was probably a small, hungry yōkai and she didn't want to scare it away. As she had predicted, a bundle of brown fur appeared in her peripheral vision, inching warily towards the camp fire.

 _A wolf pup? Is it injured?_ Kagome guessed by the slight limping of the poor animal, spreading her aura to test her theory. A pained whimper and weakened yōki answered her coaxing reiki and she knew for certain that this was an ōkami pup. Not willing to lose her chance, she sprung forward and engulfed the small creature in a tight embrace, willing it to understand that she meant no harm. The pup struggled in her arms for a few moments, clawing and growling at her, but gave up when it realized there was no chance of escaping.

"There, there, hush, little one, I'll not hurt you." Kagome murmured sweet reassurances as she walked closer to the fire to inspect the wolf pup and tend to its injury. She exhaled a sigh when she discovered no broken bones, but its left hind leg bore a nasty bite. A predator had obviously attacked it and tried to eat the poor baby.

"Where is your mother, little one?" Kagome didn't really expect an answer though. She cleaned the wound and bandaged it meticulously. The pup eyed her cautiously, flinching slightly at her treatment, but made no further move to escape. After she was satisfied with her work, she grabbed her long forgotten soup bowl and passed it before the pup's snout, allowing it to get a whiff. Recognizing by the smell that she offered it food, the pup leaned forward and chanced a taste. Kagome laughed with approval when it dove in right after that, stroking its thick fur, still holding it in her lap so as not to jostle its injured leg while eating.

"I guess I'll have to look for its mother now…" Kagome sighed again, knowing that something terrible must have happened for the pup to be wandering alone and injured in the forest. She had a bad feeling about this and she really hoped to find the mother alive for the pup's sake.


	13. Killing Two Birds With One Stone

Kagome had barely slept through the night as she kept vigilance for the nekoyōkai and tended to the injured pup. She had discovered its gender to be male and she was certain the low growling sounds he made were his attempts to communicate with her, but she really had no way to decipher what they meant. The miko had snuggled him close to her, keeping a look out until the first bright rays of the sun broke through the obscure sky. It would have been unwise to venture into the dangerous forest to look for his mother in the dark, so she had waited for daylight to come.

"Let's go find your mother, boy," Kagome chirped after they finished their breakfast which comprised of heated soup. The wolf pup barked at her in response and Kagome swore he could understand her words despite her inability to interpret his. She shook her head at her peculiar musings and gathered the small creature in her arms after she fastened her pack. She had not taken two steps when she yelped, surprised at a wet sensation on her neck and cast down a confused stare at the pup.

"Did you just lick me, boy?" The miko stared at him with a puzzled expression before the pup did it again. This time she erupted in lyrical laughter, pleased that he had taken a liking to her and finally warmed up enough to show his affection. Kōga had explained once that a lick on the neck held special meaning for wolves, but she couldn't remember his exact words. Kagome pushed the thought to the back of her mind, focusing on her first priority – finding the pup's mother.

She had been walking for the better part of an hour when the crisp forest air around her began to change. The wind carried the metallic scent of blood and the heavy musk of raw flesh. She willed her stomach to settle down before she continued towards the potent smell. She really hoped to encounter an animal carcass, but her ugly suspicion was confirmed when the pup let out a choked whimper the closer they approached to the spot. The mutilated form of a large brown wolf lay limp and bloodied on the ground, causing Kagome's gaze to widen at the carnage. This was undoubtedly the pup's mother and her heart went out to the poor creature.

"Who could have do-" Kagome was interrupted by low, hissing growls. She quickly erected a barrier, understanding that in her momentary distraction they had been surrounded. _Nekoyōkai_ , she surmised by their cat-like sounds before they revealed themselves in a loose circle all around her. These yōkai must have been the ones that attacked the village by the looks of it. She had hoped to talk to them in a peaceful manner, but they didn't appear the sort that could be persuaded by mere words. Still, she felt obligated to at least try to reason with them.

"Leave this area and do not return. If you oblige, I will not pursue you." Her voice was stony, her eyes hard.

Her generous speech only caused a barrage of amused snarls before the bulkier of the bunch stepped forward to measure her up. Kagome assumed he was their leader, but before she had a chance to ascertain this, the fool made a sprint towards her, colliding with her powerful barrier. He had probably thought it would shatter if he hit it with enough force and yōki, but this barrier was a little special. She had developed it after months of rigorous training and it could react to yōki attacks by absorbing her reiki and blasting it outwards in a blinding explosion of pure aura. The arrogant fool never stood a chance as he was promptly purified upon first impact. Seeing their leader's unfortunate and quick demise, the rest of the nekoyōkai scampered away in dawning fear.

"What fools…" Kagome exhaled a long sigh, dissolving her barrier after their retreat. She hoped this display of power had scared them away for good, but she would remain for a few days to make sure the village would be safe as she searched for the pup's pack. Kagome couldn't detect even a sliver of ōkami yōki within the forest though, and this troubled her greatly. If the mother and pup pair had been traveling when they were attacked then she had no clues on how to reach their pack. A familiar tendril of yōki caressed her senses lightly while she was lost in thought, making her head snap up.

"Sesshōmaru – what are you doing here?" she blurted out when the tall daiyōkai emerged from the thick trees.

"You are within the Western Lands, miko. I was merely patrolling in search of a pack of troublesome nekoyōkai. They have been causing unrest in my lands, but they have been dealt with." His demeanor was as stoic as ever. He did not deem it necessary to divulge more information, assuming she would not be pleased by the _manner_ in which he had handled the matter. The nekoyōkai had all perished after his swift disposal.

"Of course you were…" Kagome graced him with a warm smile after his confession, thinking this was so very like the Lord of the West. If Sesshōmaru claimed there was no reason to bother with the nekoyōkai anymore then she would trust his words without questions asked.

"I see you have acquired a new companion." Sesshōmaru's gaze fell on the tiny bundle of fur in her arms.

"Hm? Ah, yes, I just found him yesterday. His mother is dead though, and I don't know what to do with him now." Kagome shook her head with a small sigh.

"Let me see the pup, miko." Soft command. Sesshōmaru stepped closer, so he could examine the wolf child. The pup buried himself deeper in the woman's embrace, sensing the approach of a powerful yōkai.

"He must have been afraid and made a hasty transformation. He cannot return to his humanoid form on his own."

Kagome was taken aback by the unexpected news. "Wait…you mean he has a human form!?"

"Indeed. Let me hold the pup, miko." The daiyōkai more stated than asked and Kagome relinquished the small creature reluctantly.

"What are you going to do with him?"

Kagome was stunned into silence when she felt the daiyōkai's yōki swell and flow into the pup the moment he touched him. She watched in mute awe as the daiyōkai coaxed the pup to revert into his humanoid form with his yōki. A nude human child – no more than three years old – appeared in place of the wolf pup minutes later. Sesshōmaru held the pup while she quickly searched for a blanket in her pack to wrap him up.

"What's your name, boy?" she asked the dark haired angel when he was safely tucked into her embrace once more.

"D-Daiki," the ōkami replied with a trembling voice, reaching up to lick the neck once more.

"The pup recognizes you as his pack mate and alpha, miko." Sesshōmaru's rich timbre reached her ears, finally explaining to her what the gesture meant.

"Doesn't he already have a pack though? I should return him to his own soon before he gets overly attached." Kagome let out a troubled sigh, knowing her lifestyle wasn't suited for a small child. Daiki reminded her a little too much of Shippō, but he wasn't her kit and she was certain he had a family worried about him somewhere.

"I'm Kagome and I promise to find your family," she murmured with a sweet smile towards the pup, ruffling his dark locks affectionately. Daiki merely burrowed deeper in her arms, relying on physical contact more than speech.

"I will head to the Eastern Lands to find Kōga-kun's pack. He's an ōkami, so he might have information about Daiki's pack. Plus, it's a great opportunity to visit Inuyasha and Kamiko and see how's mated life for him. Could you grant me a favor, Sesshōmaru? Can you deliver my letter to Rin-chan and Kaede-baachan?" Kagome addressed the daiyōkai with a beseeching tone, recognizing the opportunity presented before her.

Sesshōmaru had been observing her interaction with the wolf pup in silence, but his intent gaze did not miss the momentary longing expression in her eyes.

"Granted." He inclined his head in acceptance of her request, seeing no reason to make further inquiries. The miko was alive and well. Nothing else mattered.


	14. Pack Comes Before Pride

A fortnight had passed since Kagome had taken Daiki under her protection and started her journey towards the Eastern Lands. The pup had been shy at the beginning but no less clinging. Kagome had coaxed him with soft words and warm touches until he had shared his past. His mother had mated an ōkami male of another pack and had gone to live with him, but his father had perished a few months prior during a hunt. His mother had decided then to return to her own pack, but they had been attacked on the way, and she had bidden him to hide. The pup had relatives, but he didn't know where his mother's pack resided or how to reach them.

Kagome hoped Kōga could identify the pup's pack and point them to the right direction, but she had taken her leisure in reaching his den. Hence, a journey that should have taken no more than a week was now stretched to two weeks – and they still hadn't entered Kōga's territory. There had been a few attacks, mostly from hungry yōkai, but nothing Kagome couldn't handle. Her hunting experience had grown and she could at least catch small animals like hares or fish whenever they passed by a river. At nights when she could sense no noteworthy yōki in the near vicinity, Kagome indulged in a campfire for warmth and cooking – and tonight was such a night.

Daiki lay beside her thigh, curled into himself as he slept, while Kagome kept vigilance. The flames flickered with soft sibilant sounds, licks of heat and light. A slow pulsation overlaid the heart of night, alive with sinuous danger, familiar, almost nostalgic. Kagome laughed softly, welcomed the yōki of the creature intruding in her camp.

"Konbanwa, Sesshōmaru."

Her voice echoed mid stillness and smoke, but the pup did not stir, only burrowed closer into her. The Western Lord walked towards her, sure-footed, strips of silver-white and leashed power.

"Miko." Sesshōmaru tilted his neck in greeting, but remained standing. "Rin has sent a missive for you."

Kagome accepted the letter, a half-smile on her lips, an apology in the blue of her eyes.

"I'm sorry for troubling you."

"It is of no consequence."

His voice glided over her skin, flowed like water, cool and sharp. It evoked a flux of sensations, aroused a cluster of feelings – and then she realized what it was. She had missed him, wished to speak with him for a while longer.

"Won't you come sit by the fire? I don't have much to offer, but you're welcome to share my stew."

His eyes flashed for a moment, like melted gold, his sole reaction.

"I do not require nourishment, miko."

"But…" Kagome paused, knew he was declining, but tried again, her voice softer, inviting. "You'll keep me some company?"

She didn't know what he saw reflected in her eyes, perhaps ruefulness, perhaps longing, but his lips drew into a tight line – he gave a curt nod, took a swift seat across from her.

"You should have reached the Eastern Lands by now."

Neither his remark nor the question in his words was unexpected. Kagome exhaled a long sigh.

"You're right. I've delayed because of…personal reasons."

"Inuyasha."

It wasn't a statement but another question. Sesshōmaru could discern lie from truth, so Kagome opted for elaboration. He was gracing her with his presence after her request. The least she could do was offer honesty in exchange.

"Partly. I miss him and I want to see him, but I don't want to intrude on his new life. And then there's Kōga-kun…"

Her brows knitted in a frown, features marred with vexation at the mention of the wolf yōkai, and she sighed again. When she raised her gaze, Sesshōmaru wore an inscrutable expression.

"The ōkami prince."

"He's been adamant on mating me for quite some time now…years, actually. Last we spoke he told me he'd relent on his pursuit until I come to him with an answer. I'm afraid he'll take it the wrong way if I appear in his den now."

The miko couldn't tell why she was sharing such intimate thoughts with the daiyōkai, but he was there and he listened and he brought calmness with him – a calmness she hadn't felt for two weeks as she ruminated upon this matter.

"Would you wish for me to decline his suit on your accord?"

Her neck snapped, bones cracking in her surprise. Kagome wasn't sure if she had heard him right, but Sesshōmaru understood her silent query, answered before she could voice her shock.

"As the alpha of your pack, it is within my rights to settle such issues."

He cast down a stare, conviction embedded in wintry amber. His voice washed over her, deep and unyielding, made her lips curl into a genuine smile even as she refused his offer. The fact that he had made it was enough for Kagome.

"No, I couldn't possibly ask you to do that. It's my problem…"

Sesshōmaru didn't comment on her refusal, but he didn't drop the matter either.

"You mentioned many instances of his persistence. The ōkami has not taken heed of your words."

Teeth sank into her lower lip, grazed the reddened flesh, but Kagome held his eyes as she shared the truth she didn't want to acknowledge - and her worries.

"That's just how Kōga-kun is… I don't think he'll ever stop hoping no matter what I say."

Sesshōmaru stayed quiet for a long moment, and Kagome thought he wouldn't speak again – or possibly leave – but he did.

"You are well past the age of maturity, yet you remain unmated, miko. Is it the thought of mating the ōkami that displeases you or the thought of mating a yōkai?"

Caught unaware, she studied his features, black-slit eyes and thin lips and carved beauty. Kagome searched for the origins, the reasons behind his curiosity, but the daiyōkai gave her nothing besides silence and rapt attention. He truly wished to know, she surmised, and she found no harm in telling him. Lips slanted, her smile wasn't joyful, but it was warm, hope-ridden.

"It is the thought of mating without love." Then she cleared her throat, laughter spilled past her lips, awkward, husky. "What a strange discussion… Forgive me for wasting your time with such asinine blather."

If Sesshōmaru sensed her uneasiness, her reluctance to speak more of this matter, he didn't show it, but his stare hardened, adopted cusp-like qualities. When he spoke, his voice was sharp-edged, didn't permit defiance.

"I shall accompany you to the Eastern Lands, miko. I will have words with the ōkami."

"You really don't have to d-"

"It will be done."

A huff made its way past her lips, but she wasn't angry at him, far from it. Stubborn, arrogant male that he was, but Kagome was glad for it. Sesshōmaru might not have been Inuyasha, but he cared for her in his own way. Even if he would never say it, never claim he'd protect her like his brother had done over and over in the past, Kagome still heard it, felt it in the strokes of his yōki, the heat of his eyes. Gratitude suffused her body, laved her skin, and she bowed to him.

"Thank you, Sesshōmaru-sama."

When she met his eyes again, his brow was arced. Sesshōmaru appeared bemused, if a bit displeased.

"Why the formalities, miko? I recall a time when you taunted such courtesies."

Kagome flushed at the reminder then laughed, the sound seeping into the night, merging with the fire.

"I was young and bold and foolish. I understand now that you meant no offense by addressing me as you do. It is a sign of acknowledgement, is it not?"

She stared at him under the thickness of her lashes, playful yet serious. His brow didn't rise higher, but there was a faint spasm in his jaw, a twinkle in the gold of his irises.

"You are still all those things, miko."

Laughter undulated in her lungs, buzzed in her throat, but she held it back, careful not to wake the pup with her antics.

"Now you merely tease me."

"Hn."

He neither denied nor confirmed it, but there was no such need either way.

"Do not act formal with me."


	15. Shadow of Doubt

Two days passed since Sesshōmaru decreed he would join Kagome in her journey to the Eastern lands. Two days, in which he mainly remained silent, vigilant, and if Kagome wished to be honest, a bit disapproving – of what though, she hadn't the slightest idea. It only made sense the second night of their conjoint travel when he flung a deer at her feet and claimed that females and pups should be well fed. Sesshōmaru simply hadn't approved of her less than adequate meals since what prey she managed to catch was mostly fed to Daiki.

"You didn't have to hunt for us, Sesshōmaru."

It wasn't that she didn't feel grateful or that she begrudged him his hunting prowess or that her feminist side reared its ugly head. No, it was none of those things – and she told him as much.

"I can't repay you for this consideration, even though I want to. You never need anything, do you?"

"Do not worry over such meaningless matters, miko. It is but nourishment."

A mere flutter of silver lashes, Sesshōmaru didn't even bother to answer her veiled question – but Kagome knew he understood what she asked. Hence, she tried again, blunter than ever.

"You didn't answer my question though. Is there anything _you_ need, anything I can do for you?"

"No."

Terse, laconic, that _no_ hung heavy in the space between them, leaden with unspoken things from both sides. Kagome's lips thinned, but she nodded, didn't voice any of them.

"I see."

Half an hour later, full of silence and blood and fur, as Kagome was skinning the deer, his voice inundated the wind, glided over the nape of her neck. It stroked her skin, cool yet warm.

"You are displeased."

Kagome swallowed thickly, focused on her task with more vigor, but she could feel his eyes on her back, cooler, warmer than his voice.

"Well, I –"

Something bitter and viscous clogged her throat, drowned her words. Ceasing all pretense, she dropped the bloodied carcass, cleaned her hands with a piece of cloth, but didn't turn to meet his eyes.

"I left the village so I could do something with my life, be someone that other people need. Yet you keep appearing and helping me out every step of the way. I feel…useless."

It was uttered low, almost whispered, her last word barely audible. A pause stretched between them – until he spoke once more. His voice was neither cool nor warm. It was sharp yet blunt, another antinomy, another kind of tone.

"You are strong for a female – and I am your alpha."

Kagome tasted his words, the sharpness in them, and their bluntness – then she laughed. Once she began, she found herself unable to stop. What was it with this man? He said all the right things at all the wrong times and vice versa.

"That you are. I guess that explains everything when it comes to you?"

Her neck slanted. She glanced at him, mirth and something else, soft, blue copper. Kagome wasn't aware of what it was, Sesshōmaru most surely wasn't, but she didn't give more thought to it.

"Hn."

She reckoned he would speak no more after that, but he surprised her once again.

"How have your travels fared?"

Mischief and teasing morphed into a smirk. Of all the things to ask…

"You don't know?"

Sesshōmaru neither denied nor confirmed it, but he didn't have to. Still, Kagome humored him, mostly because she had things to ask him.

"I passed by a few villages, offered my help. Then there is Daiki. I wish to return him to his pack, but I'm not sure what to expect when I finally find them. Do you know?"

Teeth bit into her lower lip, a manifestation of uncertainty and apprehension.

"He's a male pup. He will add strength to their pack when he comes of age. They will accept him."

Sesshōmaru's reply didn't allay her doubts – if possible, it made them grow.

"Is that the only reason?"

Bemusement slinked within the gold of his eyes – and Kagome hurried to clarify.

"I mean, will they love him? If I give him to them will they care for him like his mother did?"

Understanding dawned then. Sesshōmaru nodded, dispersed any shadow of doubt that dwelt in her mind.

"Ōkami yōkai have strong bonds. If he has blood relatives, they will care for him as his parents would."

"Then that's that. It was foolish of me to worry."

She exhaled a long sigh, shook her head, but Sesshōmaru sensed there was more beneath the surface, more than she allowed to show.

"Miko."

Gleaming gold, too bright to look away. Kagome stared at him, transfixed, awaited his voice.

"If you wish to keep the pup, they will allow it. He recognizes you as his alpha."

She drew back at that, escaped the snare of his eyes.

"What? No, no, he should be with his family. I will stay with his pack for a while to see how they treat him, though."

A tensile nod, whether to herself or Sesshōmaru, Kagome wasn't certain, but she would do as such. Daiki belonged with his family – and that was final. Sesshōmaru's poise changed then, became tensile as well.

"I would not advise this if there are unmated males in his pack."

Kagome didn't know if she should laugh or not, hence a sound between a snort and a chuckle fell from her throat.

"I'm well past the age for such offers for this era's standards, Sesshōmaru."

She resumed her task of skinning the deer, but didn't miss the daiyōkai's last words.

"Perhaps, perhaps not."

* * *

They were well into the Eastern lands, no more than a mile away from Kōga's den according to Kagome's memory, when male voices halted their steps – excited, impatient sounds.

"Neesan!"

"Kagome-neesan!"

Daiki furrowed into her arms and Sesshōmaru took to the skies right before two brown blurs appeared, panting and heaving and grinning. Kagome chuckled at the familiar sight the wolf siblings made, greeted them with smiles and cordiality.

"It's been some time, Ginta, Hakkaku. How have you been?"

It took a few minutes to catch their breath, but when they did, all she heard was petulance. It was endearing, though.

"Why didn't you send word you were coming, neesan?"

"We would have prepared a feast!"

She shook her head, still smiled, but inclined her neck in apology.

"I hadn't planned on visiting so soon. I'm sorry for not telling you in advance."

Their reaction was immediate, furthered her delight and amusement. Kagome truly missed the wolves and their warm hearts and open manners.

"It's fine, no worries! Everyone will be so happy to see you!"

"Kōga most of all!"

Daiki chose that moment to sniff loudly, taking a whiff of his fellow ōkami. Disinterested, almost scowling, he burrowed back into her arms, and Kagome chuckled. The pup was possessive of her, which was fine for now, but she should find his pack soon before he became overly attached. Ginta and Hakkaku noticed the wolf pup, but said nothing on the subject, more concerned about another's presence. They exchanged a wary glance, mentally fought about which of the two would broach the matter, and finally Hakkaku spoke, careful, if a bit abashed.

"Um, Kagome-neesan…is _he_ …ah –"

Kagome saved him of explaining more, already catching on.

"Sesshōmaru-sama means you no harm. He wishes to speak with Kōga-kun as my alpha regarding a matter of importance. I want to speak with him about another matter as well."

Her reply seemed to alleviate their fears, if nothing else. Both exhaled then grinned once more.

"He has gone to hunt, but he should return by noon. Inuyasha, too."

Hearing the hanyō's name lightened Kagome's mood.

"How are Inuyasha and Kamiko-san?"

She couldn't tell what elicited this reaction from the wolves, but they both fidgeted with nervous motions, exchanged another wary glance, yet kept their thoughts to themselves, this time.

"You should come see for yourself. I bet you'll be surprised…"

"Come, we will lead you to the caves."

* * *

Kagome had followed the ōkami males into the caves, but Sesshōmaru had preferred not to venture into their den. Perhaps it was the musky scents or his solitary nature or bad blood between them, Kagome could never be certain with him, but she didn't press the matter, all but dismissed it once she met with Kamiko. Surprise was too mild a word for what she felt once Inuyasha's mate swept her up in a crushing embrace and announced she was with pup. Kagome stilled for the barest moment – then a smile slashed across her cheeks, genuine and sunny and strained with a touch of pain. If Kamiko noticed, she didn't mention it – and, for that, Kagome was grateful.

As Kamiko blathered about her mated life, Inuyasha's rivalry with Kōga, pack affairs and the like, the miko pondered the daiyōkai's character, even envied his disposition for disassociation and detachment. Sesshōmaru made things seem easy, easier than they actually were – and much more bearable. It was Kōga's timely entrance though that saved Kagome from excusing herself to seek Sesshōmaru and seclude herself in the daiyōkai's impenetrable calm outside.

"Kagome! How's my woman doing? It's so good to see you!"

Kōga was as loud and belligerent and blue-eyed as ever – and quick to indulge in physical contact.

"I'm fine, Kōga-kun. And you?"

Slightly drained, if a bit wary, Kagome accepted his embrace but didn't reciprocate the gesture.

"Now that you're here I couldn't be better."

Kōga neither minded not took notice, only grinned, oozing joy – until someone, blissfully, dragged him off of her, none too subtly.

"Enough with your love-struck bullshit, wolf. She's here to see me, not you. Ain't that right, Kagome?"

In the midst of habitual curses and mock-blows, the miko finally smiled warmly, forgot everything that didn't make sense in her world anymore. Inuyasha had not changed either. When Kōga walked away, almost sullen, Kagome buried herself in the hanyō's arms, inhaled his scent, earth and male and comfort – and _home_. Inuyasha would always smell of home to her.

"I missed you, Inuyasha."

He might not have spoken, might not have returned her sentiments with words, but his arms tightened around her, pulled her closer. She released him after a few seconds, aware that it might be improper now that he was mated, smiled again – but it didn't reach her eyes, this time.

"I suppose congratulations are in order… You didn't waste time, did you?"

Head downcast, Inuyasha shuffled uncomfortably, mumbled under his breath, but Kagome could hear the revelry in his voice – and the anxiety.

"Well…stuff happens, you know?"

She laughed, the sound heavy yet light, patted his arm, feeling a pang of guilt for holding his happiness against him even for a fragment of a second.

"You're going to be fine, Inuyasha. I know you will."

"Thanks, I guess…"

He then cleared his throat, raised his gaze to her level, many questions in the gold of his eyes, confusion and worry.

"Ah, what's _he_ doing here, though? I can smell him outside. The wolf wasn't too happy about it either. The only reason he's not still here fawning over you is 'cause he went to talk with the asshole."

It was redundant to ask who _he_ was, but Kagome didn't appreciate the distrust she sensed in Inuyasha's demeanor. She gave him a hard stare, half-lidded warning, her voice cool and steady when she spoke.

"Sesshōmaru came as a favor to me. Be civil, Inuyasha – and don't call him an asshole."

His eyes widened, his brows almost disappeared inside his bangs. More confused, more worried than before, Inuyasha stared at her, incredulous – and a bit offended.

"Favor…to _you_?"

Kagome didn't know why, but she felt anger welling inside her at his insinuation. Wasn't she good enough to associate with the Western Lord, to guarantee his amity – is that what her _friend_ hinted at?

"He's my alpha."

If Inuyasha was surprised before, he now was well and utterly shocked. A sputter of words and disbelief was all that came out of is mouth.

"He's your _what_!?"

Kagome's chin rose, dipped with something serious, unyielding, as if she was daring him to refute her.

"He's your alpha, too. Unless you prefer Kōga-kun for that role?"

Inuyasha didn't even hear what she said, dismissed it in favor of something else. What underlay her assertion wasn't merely admiration. No – it was far worse than that, far deeper than he would have liked to believe.

"Kagome…you –"

The expression he wore, how he gazed at her, astonishment twined with _pity_ , gave her pause, made her regard him closely.

"What?"

"You like him… I mean, you _really_ like him."


	16. Letting Go

_You like him… I mean, you_ really _like him._

Kagome felt as if dowsed with a bucket of cold water, chilly wetness gliding down her spine, forming crystals over each protruding bone. She swallowed the chill, bit her lower lip, then raised her eyes, undaunted. The words poured out of her mouth without being processed, coated with a thick veneer of determination.

"So what if I like him? Is there a rule against it?" Even as she uttered them, she knew them to be true, couldn't deny that she _did_ mean them, but her meaning was vastly discrepant from Inuyasha's. The way his eyes narrowed, part-disbelief, part-suspicion, validated her worriment.

"Well, no, but…you can't, you know?" Inuyasha fidgeted with his wording, scratched a fuzzy ear nervously. "You just…can't."

Exhaling a soft sigh, she fixed him with an unwavering stare, more determined than ever.

"If this is about your stupid rivalry then you're out of line, Inuyasha. I don't care about that. Don't meddle in my affairs as I don't meddle in yours."

Her tone was firm, unyielding, elicited a bite of the hanyō's habitual gruffness. He paced back and forth, shaking his head, muttering curses between his rough sentences, until he finally stopped to pin her with a glare, near pleading, if a bit accusing.

"It's not about that! Kagome…nothing good can come out of this. _I know you_. You'll only grow more and more attached, and it'll not end well. He's got little patience for females, even less for _human_ females."

She registered the hidden connotations all too well, but she was past the point of bending herself backwards to spare him his pride. There was no such reason any longer; she didn't have to be mindful of his unwillingness to express things he didn't want to speak aloud. Chin angled high, Kagome dared him to speak openly.

"Where're you going with this, Inuyasha? If you have something to say then say it."

Hard gold met her gaze, tinted with a darker shade of pity. His voice was husky in its sibilance while he struggled with his truth.

"He'll never mate you…"

Wide-eyed, she inhaled sharply, took a step back. His words were a slap to her face, stinging, reddening her cheek with the backlash of his bluntness. Her lips and tongue moved, formed speech, but she barely heard herself talk; she could only stare at that hard gold, that dark pity, aghast.

"He…what? You – you're unbelievable… What's this nonsense?"

He shook his head again, his voice mellowed, but it was already too late. She couldn't hear his justifications either, didn't want to hear such weak excuses.

"Well, think about it. Why are you clinging to him? Isn't it because he kinda looks like me? Sooner or later, you'll fall for him…already you're blind to his faults."

Her throat clogged as words warred for dominance, indignation fighting with anger, hacking away at shock, piece by piece, until only regret remained.

"Inuyasha." Something in her voice must have warned him. Perhaps the fragility of it, how breakable she sounded – but what shattered wasn't the present, what ruptured wasn't herself. "Sit."

She gazed down at the crimson heap before her feet, near sightless, as if looking through thousands of broken glasses, each one sweet memory, now turned bitter. Her inability to truly let go had caused this, she knew, accepted at last. Slowly, she bent down, caressed the pearly beads, the thing that had coalesced their fates, one by one – then she removed the rosary from his neck, freed him of all and any obligation towards her.

"Consider this a late mating gift. Now you're finally free of me."

Startled out of his minute lapse, Inuyasha stared up at her, confused.

"Kagome…what are you –"

"I don't know why I delayed so long in doing this. Perhaps I thought that I'd be severing the last bond between us if I did, but I realize now it was wrong of me to keep this tether on you." She smiled, stroked his cheek, one last time. Affection was always cruel to her when it came to her first love – this time more than ever – but she needed to do this, for both their sakes. "Take care of your mate and pup, Inuyasha, and don't worry about me from now on. I can take care of myself and I'm capable of choosing with whom I'll associate."

Then she turned towards their audience, forgotten until now, always to be remembered from hence onward. _Kamiko – his mate, the mother of his pups._ The realization didn't hurt as much as the delusion. Why had she lied to herself all this time, why hadn't she accepted this sooner?

"I'm sorry you had to see this, Kamiko-san. I'll come visit again when things have cooled down. If you'll excuse me now, I need to find Kōga-kun." Spine bowed, she left with a pound of unshed tears, vowed to cry only one more time – but only when alone, alone with her regrets, alone with what used to burn so brightly, now rendered to embers, sizzling coals waiting to die out with her tears. "Come, Daiki."

Clutching the wolf pup in her arms, she made her exit, never turned to look back despite the hollers lapping at her heels like hot lava.

"Kagome, wait!"

* * *

The wind slashed at her, seeped into thin skin, cooling the searing sensations, filling her lungs with its crispness. Voices slipped into her cluttered thoughts, into the vortex of recollection and _letting go_.

"Who the hell are you to butt in? If Kagome doesn't want to mate me then she'll tell me herself."

 _Kōga-kun…_ She couldn't even feel weary at the familiar proclamation, couldn't find it in herself to protest even as she neared the pair; hence, she kept quiet, waited for the _other_ voice to rent the hush of the wind.

"She has, time and again. I am intervening for that exact reason on the miko's behalf as her _alpha_."

_Sesshōmaru…you –_

An angry snarl swallowed the last word, interrupted thought from taking form in her mind.

"A-alpha?"

Yōki spilled and slithered, quiet in its aggression, deadly quiet. It pulsed with animal instincts, enforced the laws of nature, smothered the wolf's bellicosity and bark.

"Cease this foolishness, ōkami. It is disgraceful for you and inconvenient for the miko."

Before Kōga could regain his momentum, before he could provoke that lethal quietness, she cut in, found her voice in the midst of danger and hotness.

"Enough, Kōga-kun."

Her voice echoed in the mountain wind, drew the heat of that yōki towards her, and she tasted the rawness in it, heavy on her tongue. It flowed like blood in swollen veins, too much, too thick. She could neither absorb it nor disperse it; she could only let it run wild inside her body.

"Kagome –"

She heard the uncertainty in Kōga's voice, but she had no mind to hearken to it, could listen to nothing but the roar of that yōki in her blood. Her eyes sought the source of that power, clashed with quiet and gold-slit dominion, asked without asking. _Alpha… Are you telling me to let you handle it? As my…alpha?_

"Thank you, Sesshōmaru, but I'll take it from here. This is my problem to deal with."

They measured one another in silence, until his yōki receded in slow tides, leached out from her bloodstream. Tingles slathered on her skin, shivers racked her body, and she licked her lips, his aftertaste on her tongue, still heavy, still thick. Kagome then turned to the wolf prince, forced sincerity to the surface, spoke above her stolen breath, moved despite her shaken knees – close, and closer, she came, until she stood in front of her _alpha_.

"I'm sorry, but I have no intention of mating you, Kōga-kun – never have, never will."

A snarl, almost a whine, came as his reply – and wetted blue, glassy with plea.

"You can't mean this, Kagome… You're my woman; I've waited for you for so long…"

Thin-lipped, nails digging into the soft flesh of her palms, she shook her head, drew from the shadow of strength in her back.

"That was your own choice and stubbornness, Kōga-kun. I never agreed to any of your demands or pleas. Please…let this be the last time."

"I thought you came to mate me… I thought you finally –"

The shine of resignation glowed in the blue of his eyes, but there was still hope, still feeling in those eyes. Kagome regretted their shine, felt strange kinship for the first time, but she couldn't lie anymore – not to herself, not to Kōga, not to anyone.

"I came for Daiki's sake. His parents have died and he's been separated from his pack. I was hoping you'd have information on their whereabouts. That's the only reason I came, in reality."

Kōga took pause for the merest moment, sniffed the air around the pup buried in her arms. Almost mechanically, as if acting on impulse, not conscious thought, he answered. "He smells like the Northern packs, but which one…I'm not sure. Ayame will know more." Then his brows knitted into a frown as her earlier words came back, hauntingly clear in his head. "The only reason?"

"Yeah, I –" Her lids lowered, weighed down by damp lashes, but they rose again, moisture dried under the burden of her promise – _I won't cry, not now, only later…alone._ "I don't think I'll be visiting any time soon again…"

A smile tugged on the corners of her mouth, lips drier than her lashes, cracking under the strain.

"Thanks, Kōga-kun. Then I'll be taking my leave now."

"But you just got here! If the mutt said anything to make you –"

His protest withered away, his voice lost the rasp of demand as her smile grew larger, more painful than before – painful to form, painful to look at.

"I think it's best that I leave, for everyone's sake." She inclined her neck in farewell then turned into the warmth at her back. "I'm sorry to ask this, Sesshōmaru, but can you –" Her eyes saw nothing, her ears heard nothing – nothing but the hiss of fur, the flex of muscles.

"Kagome!"

Kōga's shout sounded diluted, as if it came from afar, even though he was standing mere inches away. She felt Daiki's motions as he adjusted himself, coils of silk and skin and muscle around her waist, the hum of metal near her ear – then lips brushing by her ear, dissipating the viscous substance that stoppered her eardrums. Sesshōmaru spoke, and she _did_ listen to his voice.

"Are you certain you wish to depart in this manner?"

Calm, another kind of quiet, his voice brought back the moisture of her lips, her lashes, made her hide deeper into his arms. _Not yet…too soon – don't cry._

"Yes." No more than a whisper, her reply burrowed into his pelt, and those lips moved away, but the threat of tears remained.

* * *

Kagome couldn't tell how much time had passed before her feet touched ground again, before her face wasn't engulfed in soft fur, before her waist wasn't clutched into the circle of lean muscles. Daiki's slow struggles awakened her to reality, but it was Sesshōmaru's voice that roused her senses, made her see the green of the forest all around her, listen to the calls of birds in the skies above.

"You exchanged words with the hanyō."

"You heard?" A sigh tangled with her words. "I should have known…"

She raised her chin, her gaze boring into his. No sigh dwelt in her words this time, only curiosity, genuine, if a bit foreboding.

"You don't really believe that I want to…mate you, do you?"

He remained silent for a sliver of a moment, heightening her agitation, culminating dread in the pit of her stomach. She focused on the cords of his neck, their slight rippling as he breathed, their tightening when he spoke.

"I have seen no such behavior from you, miko."

Cool and sharp, relief washed over her.

"Of all the things that idiot could have said…" Her lungs buzzed with laughter, insipid, grazing the walls of her throat. "How funny, how utterly hilarious…" It spilled forth like a violent waterfall, breaking the dam on her emotions, taking everything with it. Peals of laughter, strings of tears, meshed into one motion, one stretching of lips and eyes. She couldn't stop laughing, crying, not even when cool fingers swept across her cheekbone, the pad of a thumb dragging under her lower lashes, one smooth stroke of skin and wetness. She followed the billow of his kimono sleeve as he removed his hand, traced the white silk up the line of his arm, until her eyes met skin and stripes and gold irises.

"Is it a human habit to weep while laughing?"

A last bark of laughter escaped her lips; a last thread of tears wove into her smile.

"No, it's a female habit."

"Hn."

Just like that, he was gone, as if he had never been there at all – but the heat of his touch lingered, stitched the truth into the swollen flesh of her lips and eyes.


	17. Some Kind of Revelation

The journey to the Northern Lands had been made in an excruciatingly fast pace. If Kagome had to be honest with herself, she craved personal contact, to be amongst people and not alone with her thoughts. The more she realized how lonely she was, the tighter she clung to Daiki to fill that void in her heart, and that strengthened the pup's attachment to her. The nights were the worst. Touch soothed her, made the ache bearable, but she couldn't keep hugging the pup to sleep, lulling herself with the heat of his skin. Daiki wouldn't always be there – he _shouldn't_ be with her. He wasn't _hers_. When she almost suffered a panic attack at the thought of him not being there at nights, Kagome decided it was time to let him go. Daiki was too young to choose his own life, and Kagome would not force upon him a life on the road for her fulfillment. He deserved better than what she had to offer, and Kagome would make sure he'd have it.

Finding Ayame had been easy once she had made it to the hills of the mountain Ayame's pack dwelt. What had been hard was to bury ill feelings of envy and depression once she met with her. Ayame positively glowed, from the color of her cheeks to the brilliance of her smile to the warmth in her voice.

"Is that you, Kagome-chan? I almost didn't recognize you!"

It was the other way around. Kagome's eyes lowered to Ayame's midsection, taking in the noticeable roundness of her belly, before she was engulfed in a rather awkward embrace given Ayame's condition. If there was another person who Kagome thought would never relinquish her first love and move forward that was Ayame, but apparently she had been wrong.

"That's my line, Ayame-san." Clearing her throat and digesting her shock, Kagome smiled in the midst of a frown. "I didn't know you got…mated?"

"Oh yeah." Ayame laughed good-naturedly and stroked her distended abdomen. "My grandfather kept insisting and I finally gave in."

 _Her grandfather –?_ Something unpleasant snaked into Kagome's mind at Ayame's words, and her frown deepened, but Ayame waved a hand, inferring the reason for Kagome's discontent.

"Don't make that face. I wasn't coerced or anything like that." At Kagome's raised brow, she chuckled and shook her head. "Naoto is the alpha of the second largest pack here in the North. He's been in love with me for years, actually. After our mating, our tribes merged into one pack. And I do love him, you know."

It served to allay Kagome's lingering doubts, though what fully dispersed her worry was Ayame's voice when she spoke of her mate. Such love couldn't be feigned in a woman's tone. A genuine smile mellowed the curve of her mouth, unmarred by jealousy.

"Then I'm happy for you." And Kagome realized she truly meant it.

Ayame's low hum, the way her face flushed, and how she caressed her belly again were all the proof she needed. "Being loved is happiness, Kagome-chan."

"Yes." Kagome sighed, swallowing the ruefulness, leaving only the yearning. "Yes, it is."

"But why are you here?" A slight grimace touched Ayame's forehead and she squeezed Kagome's hand. "Not that I'm not happy to see you."

Kagome returned the gesture with a smile, casting her gaze down to where Daiki gripped her calf from behind. "I found a wolf pup who's recently been orphaned. Kōga-kun told me he belongs to the Northern tribes, so I came searching for his relatives."

Ayame's eyes softened at once and she bent down to Daiki's level. "May I hold him?" Kagome gave a short nod, pushing Daiki forward and into Ayame's open arms. "Aw, he's adorable. What's your name, little one?"

"D-Daiki." The pup kept stealing glances at Kagome, mumbling and fidgeting. Ayame ruffled his hair, and rubbed her cheek against his.

"I'm sure we can find his family. He doesn't smell like anyone I know, but maybe Naoto will know. And if he doesn't, we can hold a meeting of the pack leaders and someone will recognize his scent for sure."

A sigh Kagome hadn't known she was repressing whooshed out of her throat. Her relief was overwhelming, almost enough to drown out her sadness at the inevitable separation. "Thank you, Ayame-san. I'm really grateful for your help."

"Nonsense." Ayame's nose wrinkled prettily. "I'm an expecting mother as you can tell. Pups should be with their family." Daiki started reaching for Kagome then and Ayame passed him over with a chuckle. "In the meantime, you're welcome to stay with Naoto and I."

"I appreciate that, Ayame-san. I really do." Gratitude made Kagome's voice huskier, and if she pretended, perhaps gratitude would be all that remained.

"How did you end up finding him anyway?"

As Ayame babbled about everything and everyone in her pack, Kagome felt that she had made the right choice in coming here. If she pretended, perhaps her laughter would become real, her eyes wouldn't be shadowed. Loneliness didn't mean she had to be alone.

* * *

Ayame's mate hadn't recognized Daiki's scent either. Hence, Ayame had summoned the Northern pack leaders for a meeting as she had promised. Among them, fortunately, one of Daiki's relatives was found – Takao of the Kuro tribe. He was Daiki's uncle and immensely relieved to have been reunited with his nephew whom he had not seen since his birth, though equally saddened by the news Kagome brought about Daiki's mother. Takao was easygoing and not prejudiced against ningen or miko, and most importantly, he had agreed to Kagome's request of accompanying him back to his pack and overseeing Daiki's reintegration. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for his pack members. Many eyes stared at Kagome warily, some open, some concealed; many tongues murmured, whether she could hear them or not. Kagome hadn't felt like such an outcast since the days she used to return to her era after a prolonged visit to the Sengoku Jidai, only to realize her friends had moved on without her and the classes were practically unfathomable to her.

"Don't pay them any mind. They're just curious about you. We don't see many miko in the mountains, certainly not friendly ones at least." Takao's words were more directed at his pack mates than Kagome, served to ease the tension a little.

"I apologize if my presence causes any trouble." A tight-lipped smile tugged on her mouth, reserved but sincere. "I just feel responsible for Daiki and want to make sure he'll be well cared for." Teeth sank on her bottom lip when she reassessed her words and how they sounded. The last thing she wanted was to insult Daiki's remaining blood relative. "Not that I don't trust you or –"

"I understand, Kagome-san." Takao's hand on her shoulder was warm and strong, comforting yet a bit uncomfortable. It must have shown on her features because he exhaled a deep sigh and let his hand fall away. "I should be the one thanking you for returning him to us, actually. Marika was my sister and I loved her dearly. I should have insisted that she stay with us instead of leaving, but she was stubborn to a fault and deeply in love with Daichi. It's regrettable that it has come to this, but I promise you that I'll take care of my nephew as if he were my own pup." A chuckle spilled from his throat then, rumble of amusement. "If he lets me, that is. Daiki seems overly attached to you, but I guess that's natural after what's happened."

Kagome's mouth split wider until her smile reached her eyes; compassion wove into her voice and gaze. It was she who placed her palm on his shoulder this time. "I'm sorry for your loss, Takao-san."

"You're truly kind, Kagome-san." His fingers brushed by hers for a split second, light touch, light caress. "But you should stop apologizing. I'd rather see your smile than your frown." It was over before she could feel discomfort, as if he was testing the boundaries. He spread his arms wide then, motioning to the large cave his pack occupied, and laughed.

"I'm afraid there's not much privacy, but you're welcome to stay for as long as you want."

It was such a careless sound, pure laughter, that she was tempted to allow herself to take his invitation for what it truly was. Kagome wasn't blind to a man's interest, but she'd rather not entangle herself with an ōkami. Quite laughable, she was well aware, that she was the one prejudiced. And shameful. She slanted her neck in thanks and to hide her eyes from Takao. He had been nothing but gracious to her and didn't deserve to be placed into a category because Kagome was not strong enough or it was too soon for her to see past his race when romantic feelings came into the mix.

"Thank you again, Takao-san."

"Don't mention it." His neck tilted toward a young female and she was the first besides Takao to smile at Kagome without umbra of apprehension in her eyes. "Aiko will show you around and I'll see you at dinner which I now have to go hunt for."

"I could help, if you don't mind?" Her voice slipped past her lips breathless, expectant. "I'd like to be useful while I stay here and not take advantage of your hospitality."

Something flashed in Takao's gaze, perhaps doubt, perhaps admiration, or even a mixture of both. But he gave a shake of his head, not outright rejecting her, though not accepting her offer either. "I suppose you could, but I'd like for you to rest today and get to know us a little. I think it would be best for Daiki if you're by his side these first couple days."

When phrased like that, it left Kagome with no choice but to emulate his smile and follow his lead. This was his pack and his rules. Kagome would adhere to them for as long as she stayed, another excuse for her to leave once she made sure Daiki was adjusting. "All right. I'll see you later then."

* * *

Days passed by and with each day, Kagome eased into life with Takao's pack, even came to understand yōkai bonds better. It was instinctive, innately engraved into the wolves, to care for each other, offer touch and words and smiles freely without expecting something in return. Slowly, a little at a time, Daiki began to interact with members of his tribe, even leave Kagome's side to play with other pups and sleep with them in a fur-pile. Then came the questions. For every little thing that caught his attention, Daiki would tug at Kagome's sleeve and ask all the whys and hows of whatever didn't make sense to him. It was endearing, almost unfair, and the reason she delayed in leaving when she should have started preparing Daiki for her departure already.

"Why do you have to cook your meat, Kagome?"

Kagome stared at his cute frown while she prepared the fire to cook her meal, pressed a finger between his brows and soaked up the sound of his giggles.

"Well, Daiki, raw meat is bad for a human's health. I will get sick if I eat it like you do."

A grin lit up his face and he leaned into her touch. "I like you, even if you're human."

This was the other reason she couldn't leave. Daiki made it nigh impossible when he said such things to her and acted in this manner, as if he belonged to her. But he didn't. "I know, honey. I like you, too."

"Then you'll stay with me?" A pout formed on his lips. He all but whispered his next words, as if he didn't want to believe them. "Aiko told me you'll leave one day."

Kagome gathered him close and ran her fingers through his wavy locks. "Don't you like it here, Daiki?"

He smiled up at her, content just to be held, despite the subject of discussion. "I like Takao-ojisan, and Aiko is nice to me, and I've made friends with Tsuji and Ichirō, but I like you more."

A sigh worked its way out of her throat and she breathed in his scent, hugged him tighter, a controversy to her words. "But I don't belong here, Daiki. Don't you want to live with your pack?"

"Un." His chin dipped once; his tongue licked up her neck. "But I want to be with you."

"It's not like we'll never see each other again. I promise to visit you whenever I can."

When Daiki raised his head to stare into her eyes, she knew another question was coming.

"Why don't you mate Takao-ojisan? Then you can stay and be with me. Aiko said that he likes you…even if you are human. He's just like me."

Childish innocence was to be envied. Kagome sighed into his hair, rocked him lightly. Daiki was but a child; he couldn't understand even if she explained but she owed it to him to be honest at the very least.

"I like Takao-san, but I can't mate him. People need to love each other to get mated. One day, when you're older, you'll understand this."

"Do you love someone, Kagome?"

A hum thrummed inside her throat; her lips pursed then she chuckled softly.

"I used to love someone very much, but he didn't feel that way about me."

"Why? You're kind and pretty and everyone likes you."

It took her aback, his simple reasoning, but there was nothing simple about love, and she told him as much.

"Love is a bit more complicated than that. Sometimes, loving someone just isn't enough."

"That's a deep conversation you have there."

Her head shot up at the male voice and she found herself under the gleam of Takao's gaze. His voice was teasing, his laughter even more so. Her lips thinned; her eyes narrowed. Kagome half-chastised him, half-played this game with him.

"Eavesdropping is bad, Takao-san."

"Guilty." His laughter adopted raspy qualities, deepened. "But if you ask me, that person was an idiot."

It was an attractive sound; Kagome couldn't lie about that, but she needed more than that. It wasn't right to give in to visceral reactions, deluding herself that in time they would become more than merely that.

"Yeah, he was." Her eyes stung; her throat constricted. "But we can't choose who we love. It would make things easier if we could."

It was time to leave, she realized. Before things became more complicated.

"You could try…"

Takao's suggestion cemented her decision. His voice was low and full of expectations she couldn't meet. Kagome averted her eyes, cleared her throat.

"I – I think it's time…for me to leave."

A shadow fell over her, startled her into looking up and into his eyes. His fingers stroked her shoulder, massaged the hollow of her neck, urging. Pleading.

"You could stay. You're welcome here, and my pack likes you."

 _I like you_. Kagome heard it loud and clear – in the strokes of his fingers, the heat of his eyes, the huskiness of his tone. A slow motion of her neck, and she was rising, gently pushing his fingers away.

"I don't think it would be wise. The longer I stay, the harder it becomes to leave."

Takao exhaled a deep sigh, but he wasn't finished. "If you've made your decision, I can't stop you, but I urge you to reconsider…for Daiki's sake as well."

What an underhanded trick to use. Perhaps that was why Kagome had lost on love. Because she was too proud to use such schemes – but maybe that was for the best. Love chained by necessities wouldn't last. A person who didn't want to be kept couldn't be persuaded to stay forever on an imitation of love.

* * *

Kagome savored the crisp air filtering through her lungs with each breath she took. The wind always felt cleaner on the mountaintop. She almost missed the diluted air of her hometown, the smell of exhaust gas and the blaring honks of cars. The memories only made this feeling of not-belonging even deeper felt. She stared up at sky-blue and cloud-white, far-spread and wide-reaching – always moving, and yet she was standing still, felt as if she had been living her life like this for a very long time. Yōki slithered against her senses, brought her out of her dark reverie, familiar, calm. A smile crept up her face, slightly bitter, but she didn't turn to greet the owner of the pulsing energy, merely spoke through hushed breaths.

"It's been a long time, Sesshōmaru."

"Miko."

She swallowed his voice, almost hated the coolness distilled into the sound. Sesshōmaru was as he had always been, but it was a different kind of stillness than her own. Change wasn't something he sought – unlike her. Why couldn't she be more like him? For the first time after a long while, his presence unsettled her, awoke emotions she'd put into slumber. Kagome felt lonelier than ever before, ashamed that she felt that way. Sesshōmaru didn't owe her anything, hadn't made any promises to her, yet somewhere along the line, she'd fooled herself into thinking he had. She knew what her bitterness was now. Betrayal – that he had left her alone, hadn't come to see her for so long.

"I thought –" Teeth bit into the softness of her lip, halted her tongue. Everyone else had betrayed her; all she could do was not betray herself. "Never mind."

She heard his steps as he came closer but still didn't turn to face him. Kagome had vowed to never cry again, and she wouldn't.

"Speak your mind, miko."

But she couldn't hide from him, she knew that. Perhaps she should try and be a little less proud; perhaps demanding what she wanted wasn't demeaning. It was Sesshōmaru, after all. If he thought her wants pathetic or annoying, he wouldn't hesitate to make it known. He wasn't someone to indulge her out of pity. Taking in a deep breath, Kagome tested the waters, slanted her neck to the side and glanced at him.

"I meant it when I said it's been a long time."

His expression remained unchanged but there was a small pause before he spoke.

"It has not been that long."

A humorless sound escaped her throat. "Maybe to you."

The lines of his face drew tighter; his voice grew lower.

"You are displeased by my absence."

"Not displeased, no." Her brows creased into a fraction of a frown. Kagome struggled for a few seconds before she laid it all out there. He wasn't one for circumvention either. "I just missed you. Is it wrong of me to feel so?"

If she hadn't been watching him as closely as she was, Kagome would have missed the subtle signs her assertion elicited – warm luster of gold, softened edge, sibilant exhalation.

"You wished for my company?"

Her neck tilted more; her smile became bittersweet. "Why have you come now, Sesshōmaru?"

"You are leaving this pack," was all he said.

Kagome stared up at him, perplexed.

"How did you know?" _Why did you come?_

He cast down a careful gaze, perplexed her even more with his half-answers.

"It is not the first time I have come to visit you."

Her knees unfurled and before she was even conscious of the motions, she was standing before him, gazing into his eyes, more perplexed than ever.

"Why didn't you reach out to me before?"

If he was reluctant to be candid before, it disappeared without a trace now. He studied her features, her reactions, but didn't omit anything this time.

"I spoke to the alpha of this pack. He expressed his desire to court you then. It would be discourteous of me to have contact with you during that time."

Kagome was stunned for the barest moment. _Did I hear him right?_

"Takao-san asked you for permission…to court me?" But of course, she had. Sesshōmaru never had reason or need to lie.

"Yes."

Her eyes blazed; her voice hardened. "And you gave it?"

"You seemed to treat him favorably." It was so insipidly uttered that it fueled the fire igniting her nerves, nourished her indignation. Kagome hadn't seen him in such a long time and _this_ was the reason? She had missed him, had told him so, all but begged for his attention, and all he could do was stand there and feed her this –

"You should have talked to me about it, Sesshōmaru." She snapped, paced back and forth, aggression spilling from her pores – then she stopped before him, stared up into dark gold, growing darker the more she raised her voice. "I'm not an object to be passed along at your will."

"The decision to mate him or not was yours to make." His eyes bore down, as steely as his tone, hot coals sizzling beneath the surface. "I did not _pass you along_ , as you say."

Just like that, Kagome deflated. But she couldn't let go of her anger completely, not until she received an apology from him instead of some warped excuse for his actions.

"You are angry with me."

It was a statement, one that Kagome didn't even bother to refute or ignore, though it did unnerve her to admit it to his face, give him power over her. But it was too late to pretend otherwise.

"I – yes…yes, I'm angry." The words trembled on her lips but she still spoke them, let him see all the anger and hurt he had caused her.

"Why?"

That he even needed to ask for the reason rankled. Had she been so pathetic and starved for affection to have misinterpreted that he cared for her even a little to respect her opinion, at least enough to ask for it? A sound rumbled in her larynx, growl-like and exasperated.

"You spy on me, make decisions that affect my life, and yet you don't think it necessary to at least discuss them with me?" Teeth clamped on the insides of her cheeks, abused the tender flesh. She tasted blood-copper and the acridness of her loneliness. _Enough_ – she had enough. It wasn't Sesshōmaru's fault but her own inflated cravings that had led to this situation. She could even understand what drove him to act in this way in part, after having spent so much time in a pack and seeing their inner workings, and that chafed the most. Sesshōmaru did care for her in his own way but it wasn't the way she wished to be cared for. The cultural chasm between them was simply too deep to be overcome. She exhaled a heavy breath, tried again, without rage compromising her judgment.

"Look, I understand that you think you have some responsibility towards me as my alpha, but I'm not asking for much here, Sesshōmaru. Just for you to talk to me once in a while."

"We are speaking now."

Frustration was too mild a word for what lanced through her at his answer. It was as much blunt as it was canny, an antinomy of an answer. Her spine stiffened; her poise rigidified.

"Fine. Then just answer me this." Kagome held his gaze, provoking. Challenging. "Did you want me to mate Takao-san?"

"Will my answer make a difference?"

That told her everything and nothing. Kagome stopped trying to coax him into giving her, if not what she needed, at least a straight answer. Sesshōmaru didn't want to have this conversation with her, evidently, and nothing she could do would change his mind. She swallowed thickly, shook her head.

"No. I've already made up my mind to leave this pack." Her eyes dimmed, seethed with a burning sensation; her voice wavered. It was subtle but unmistakable – Sesshōmaru _had_ changed. But not in the way she would have liked. "You have…changed, Sesshōmaru. Being cryptic isn't like you."


	18. Chasing Fairy Tails

Kagome held his gaze for one long moment and waited. The gold of his eyes was dense metal, bright veneer over all the things that lurked within. She gave him enough time to reveal them if he so wished, one last chance to mend whatever there was between them, but perhaps she was the only one to believe there had been _something_ to begin with. A sigh left her lips, susurrated in the wind, carrying her dashed hopes and softness. Maybe that was where she had gone wrong… Kagome was too soft, thoughtlessly open, when it came to emotions, and Sesshōmaru…wasn't. Their personalities differed too much for common ground to be found. She swallowed thickly, exhaled another sigh, harsher than the last one. Then she turned around, shoulders stiff and mouth clamped shut, bruising flesh and heartbeat drumming in her ears.

"No."

It was spoken so low that Kagome thought she had imagined that word breaking past his lips, but it was coated with such intensity that it slashed through any doubt she had. The sound of his voice stroked the contours of her back, loosened her muscles, and she sucked in a breath.

"I did not wish for you to mate the ōkami."

Her heart raced even faster inside her ribcage now, yet she heard him all the clearer. Kagome whirled around, almost panting, suffocating under the implications of what he spoke, unable to control her body's responses. His eyes were still that shade of striking gold, but their density had dissipated, morphed into luminosity. They glowed brighter than ever, murmured _something_ she'd dared long for but couldn't allow herself to fully accept for fear of it being merely a chimera her loneliness had spawned to dull the pain. Her stare bored into his one more time, one more chance. Kagome was truly, idiotically soft – but she didn't know of another way to be. When she opened her mouth, the question that was searing her tongue slithered down and rolled off breathless, though no less demanding.

"Then why did you allow him to court me?"

Sesshōmaru wore an indecipherable expression, the lines of his face smooth and unstrained. It would have fooled her in the past, but she knew him better than that now. The fact that he hadn't allowed the conversation to end was another sign. He wasn't pleased by the turn of events, sought to rectify them, despite being awkward in doing so. Kagome couldn't mistake his clumsiness for anything else. She wasn't the only one who could be nothing but what she was.

"It is as you said. You are not an object and your decisions are your own. If I had denied him that privilege, how would you have felt then?"

Cold, hard logic. Even when he was talking about feelings, he managed to strip all coloring from them. But Kagome could see right through him. Tension eased from her features. A peculiar smile touched the angles of her cheekbones, twined with the mellow side of exasperation. Kagome clicked her tongue, more amused than angry, giving in and bending under his pride on this occasion. No matter how small it was, Sesshōmaru _had_ made an effort. It wouldn't do to trample on their progress for the sake of her pride. Arms folded under her breasts, she huffed, feigned pique riding on her nuance.

"That's not the issue here, Sesshōmaru. Before allowing or denying someone the right to court me, I expect you to ask me if I want to be courted in the first place. Is that too much to ask?"

 _Something_ changed then. The air around him frizzled, crackled with electricity. It seeped through layers of skin, slew her pretense. Heat. Galvanism. His gaze bore the cutting sheen of steel when he stared down into her eyes.

"Do you want to be courted, miko?"

Blood boiled in her veins, circulated in her body like lava. Shock gripped her, lungs failing and seething under the strain. Numb, lightheaded, Kagome licked her lips, shook her head, but couldn't escape the snare of his eyes.

"No." Her reply came without conscious process. "It's already over. I told Takao-san that I'm leaving."

Sesshōmaru stared at her quietly, closely. Gold liquefied, violent ripples. Kagome couldn't tell what had dissatisfied him in her answer, what he expected to hear, but she knew then that what she'd said hadn't been enough.

"That is not what I asked."

There was a rougher quality to his voice, rasp-edged and arousing. A flush spread from her cheeks to her neck down to her cleavage. Fire rushed beneath her skin, inflamed the sensations, and she vied to tether her reactions. Kagome was too aware of him and what his words insinuated that she couldn't help but react in this manner. Perhaps she had misinterpreted his meaning, the undertones of want in his voice, how his eyes sizzled and melted her inhibitions – but even if she had, she didn't care. Even if all this was a figment of her imagination, she couldn't eschew the stirrings he had roused within her, didn't want to deny the attraction brewing and growing with every little motion he did. It had been so long since she'd last felt this way that she chose to blind herself to its source and revel in its taste. Just for a little while longer.

When she was ready to talk again without shadow of need clouding her vision, threatening to spill into her voice, she closed her eyes. One long draw of breath. Then she was raising her lids, smiling and speaking as if the moment had never come to pass between them, regardless whether she'd been the only one affected or not. Kagome wasn't sure she wanted to know that answer.

"I…don't know. I want to have a family, yes. But that doesn't mean I want to mate any man I _treat favorably_." A chuckle accompanied the end of her sentence. The blue of her eyes twinkled with mischief and she purposefully made light humor of what she'd experienced but moments ago. Maybe she could pretend it hadn't happened if she shrugged it off as a joke. "By that account, you should be first on my list."

Sesshōmaru studied her carefully again, took in the abrupt change in her mien. It was subtle, the way he inhaled slowly, as if sampling her scent, savoring the aftertaste of desire cloaking her body. His neck hollowed and his chest seemed to expand beneath the metal of his armor…and the sound he made –

It was over in an instant. Kagome must have hallucinated the rumble grazing against his vocal cords, rubbing and smearing wildness on her skin, because there was not even a hint of it in his tone. More than that, his eyes had lost their serrated gleam, leaving only bright gold behind.

"You are still angry with me. I do not think that counts as favorable treatment."

Sesshōmaru was as blunt as ever, and he was…teasing her. Laughter swelled in her lungs, catapulted up her throat, and filled the space separating them, shattering any and all distance between them. Kagome bit her bottom lip to muffle her laughter, hugged her midsection to silence its tremors. She peered at him under her lashes, relished that he permitted her to see this side of him. It reassured her, unwound her tongue, and granted her liberties she wouldn't have taken otherwise. She took one step closer, and another. When he made no motion to stop her, merely gazed at her in silence, her arms curled around his neck. She pressed herself against him, lips moving where neck fused with shoulder, voice stroking patches of exposed skin, breath hot and humming.

"I really missed you, you know?"

He stood perfectly still. Kagome could feel many things wrapped around him like this, all the things that made him so unbearably unattainable for someone like her – yōki pulsing beneath the surface, overwhelming and ingrained with animal instinct, oozing dominance and control, naked skin under her palms, stretched over hard muscle, the distinct scent of sakura blossoms and underneath that…another scent, purely his, heavier, addictive. A slow intake of breath – then her grip slackened, arms unfolding, moving away from him. His voice licked the curve of her ear before she released him, dragged across her skin as she was taking that step back, low and full of all those things.

"Do you wish to travel with me?"

Kagome almost lost her balance, grabbed his kimono sleeves to right herself. His hands engulfed her forearms, sharp nails raking lightly, not biting into her skin but enforcing the danger of his nature. Her neck tilted back; her gaze sought his. As if coming down from an endorphin high, she stared into his eyes. There was awareness writhing in the silence, something feral struggling to break free – in the dilation of his pupils, the clenching of his muscles. Kagome could tell he was serious but nothing else. No. That was a lie. She didn't want to examine what else was there for fear of it being unreal, crafted by her own willingness to believe it existed. Hence, she tugged on his sleeves, finally stepped back when he let her go, avoiding the pull of his eyes.

Kagome remained quiet while she blanked her mind of sensation and mulled over this. His offer wasn't only unexpected but it would also thwart her plans of independence and making it on her own. But if there was ever a chance to discover if this was real, if there was _something_ between them, she'd be a fool to reject him. And she'd been a fool for far too long, putting the needs of others before hers, and ignoring that void in her heart until it grew so large that it threatened to devour her whole. No more. Perhaps there _was_ something there, or perhaps there wasn't. She'd never find out if she stood back and allowed her life to slip by before her eyes, always watching others reaching happiness she could only dream of. Maybe _now_ was her time to chase after its elusive tail.

Clearing her throat, she found his eyes again and forced a smile on her lips. "I…yes. I think I'd like that, if you don't mind."

"I do not venture into human villages." Quick, sure-spoken, and definite. So very much like him that she couldn't stop her laughter from bubbling up again.

Kagome waved a hand carelessly. "That's fine. I can go on my own." Her laughter ebbed until there was only a sassy smirk spread on one side of her face. "Besides, I'm sure you'll need some time alone since you're not used to company."

"I do not mind your company, miko." His voice hadn't forgone any of its usual attributes, but it was somehow lighter, softly accented. "When you treat me favorably."

Kagome recognized it easily. It was the kind of voice he used when he was teasing her, the kind she knew he didn't use with anyone else. Her smirk bloomed into a grin of satisfaction and daring. She raised a slim brow, hummed cockily.

"I don't mind yours either…when you _actually_ talk to me."

"Hn."

If she strained her eyes, she could see the edges of his mouth lift, his eyes lighten to match the wordless enunciation. Her grin unraveled to a smile then – a smile for two people. Kagome would do it for both of them…for now.


	19. Rabbit Heart

Kagome hated farewells – because she was always the one left behind, smiling through gritted teeth, shedding unseen tears. She was never the one leaving, didn't know what to tell Daiki that wouldn't make him feel like she did all the times someone left her – and so she said nothing. Kagome just held him until his wails died into sniffles, hummed in his ear until his body ceased shaking and exhaustion eased him into sleep. Then she pressed a soft kiss on his temple and passed him over to Takao with a promise to visit in the near future. It was cathartic in a way, to realize that those who left hurt the same as the ones left behind, if not more so. To sever a bond was a heavy cross to carry, with nails sharp and puncturing flesh, embedding steel and regret into the bearer.

Her somber mood had lasted all day long after their departure. Kagome was listlessly dragging her feet, uncaring of destination, merely following after Sesshōmaru. In retrospect, his steps were far too inert, near tortoise-slow. Perhaps that was why when he vanished from her sight, it took her a few minutes to realize he was not still there. She blinked once, twice. Her gaze drifted over the clearing he had led her to then rose to the dark-limned sky above. Dusk.

A sigh fell off the seam of her mouth, and with it, the vestiges of her energy. She slipped her backpack off of her shoulders and lay down on the ground, breathing in the night – the sounds of insects, the smell of grass and soil, the taste of wind. Another sigh hummed in her throat, less weary, more content, but then a ball of fur and musk was flung at her face. Her sigh turned into a yelp, and she sprung upright, rubbing her face clean, damn near spitting.

"Eat, miko."

Sesshōmaru was more umbra than voice overhead. Her neck craned back and to the side, and she stared at him through narrow slits. The insane urge to laugh was overwhelming, reached its apogee when she lowered her gaze to the mangled hare he had practically lapidated her with.

"Thank you, Sesshōmaru."

It was a miracle she didn't explode with laughter at his _almost_ -frown. Something between a snort and a chuckle came out of her mouth. Kagome didn't even know how to explain to him the eccentric joke that formed in her mind about accidentally killing a person with the dead animal you were trying to feed her. Biting her lip, shaking from repressed laughter, she reached for her backpack and brought out what she needed to skin and cook the hare.

"Will you be eating with me?"

"No."

His answer sounded too distant, carried by the breeze. Kagome glanced behind her shoulder in the direction of his voice; her eyes traced the outline of his body in the dark. Sesshōmaru was sitting on the ground, one leg drawn up and knee bent at a smooth angle, his back resting lazily against an oak. She stared at him, frozen in place, jaw locked tight. It somehow felt… _right_. Being here, being with him. With a last sigh, she set on her task, smiling for the first time this day.

It was well past midnight when Kagome curled up beside the campfire, well-fed and glowing with satiety.

"So where are we going now?"

Minutes passed by in silence, and Kagome began to wonder if he'd ever answer – then his voice slid amidst the flickering flames, warmed her more than the fire.

"Is there a place you wish to visit, miko?"

Her lips pursed as she ruminated, curved when she came to a decision.

"Hm…no. Nowhere in particular. I'd like to travel toward Sango-chan's village, though. It's been a while since I last saw her and Miroku-san, and I'd like to check up on them."

If Sesshōmaru heard the notes of longing threaded in her voice, he didn't show it.

"Very well," was all he said.

Kagome shuffled, strangely restless, far from drowsy and needing to talk.

"Can you tell me how's Rin-chan and Chizu-chan? And Kaede-baachan?"

"I have seen no notable change since your departure." Terse, no change in tone, and based on facts.

Kagome felt as if she was speaking to an automatic answer machine, but she refused to give up just yet.

"Really? Chizu-chan must have grown a bit."

"Humans age at a rapid pace, yet it has not been that long, miko. Chizukirō is but an infant. It will be quite a while before he even develops the ability of speech."

When phrased like that, Kagome was left with no choice but to agree, but it didn't mean she had to partake in his proclivity for detachment. His words evoked thoughts steeped in emotion. Hugging her knees, she placed her chin atop them, exhaled a wistful sigh.

"Yeah, you're right. I didn't realize it before, but I'll miss his first words and his first steps."

"I visit them once a week. You could accompany me if you wish to see them."

Perhaps it was because she was being sentimental or because it was late at night and everything was so quiet – Kagome wasn't sure what the cause was, but his voice was smooth metal and tasted like hot sake on her tongue. Intoxication and the burn of things decadent. Shivers slithered down her spine, made her inch closer to him and away from the fire, closer to things that truly burned.

"Thank you…but no. I'll feel like I never really left if I go back so soon. Maybe after a few months…"

"As you see fit."

His voice was now cold fire, licking at her skin, icing over the burn marks. Kagome was…pathetic. She didn't know what she expected, what she even wanted from him, but it was gnawing on her nerves – and Sesshōmaru didn't appear the least bit inclined to either fuel the fire or let it die. This hot and cold, this in-between, was mental torture. A noise of aggravation crept up her throat – Kagome finally cracked.

"Is it just me or is it really hard having small talk?"

"You may talk if you like, miko."

Sesshōmaru didn't even pause in his reply, too natural. Apparently, she was the only one affected. A cursory glance confirmed his expression was as perfectly etched in apathy as ever.

"But that would be awkward…talking by myself." Kagome swallowed a sigh, having lost count of how many times now that was. Face buried in her knees, she gave up. "Never mind."

But she still wasn't sleepy. If she wanted to get some decent sleep, she'd have to relax first, and she was too worked up. The first line spilled past her lips on instinct, then the second, until she forgot where she was, with whom she was. There was only the rustling of leaves and her voice, memories sealed within the song and images behind her closed lids. _Mama…_

"Was that a song from your time?"

Disorientation startled her out of her vision, and she remembered where she was, with whom she was.

"Mm. My mother used to sing or hum this song while she did daily chores." A smile tugged on her lips, the same smile Kagome wore whenever her mother realized she had an audience and blushed while shooing her away. Kagome knew why her mother blushed. That song was the same song her father used to sing to his wife when he thought they were alone. Kagome was too young to fully understand the lyrics, but love was an easy thing to see, even for a five year old.

She laughed then. "Only she wasn't as tone deaf as I."

"You miss your era."

It was a statement but its qualities were softer, more like a question. At least it sounded that way to her. Kagome sighed ruefully, obliged his veiled curiosity.

"I don't miss the technological advancements, but small things like that. You could say that what I miss most is my family. I can't help but wonder if they're alright and how they're doing…" Another sigh. Another laugh. "Sōta must be preparing for his high school entrance exams around this time. Mama will be worrying about saving money for his college tuition, even though it is not yet time for that, and Jii-chan must be beside himself that Sōta won't be following the family tradition of being a temple priest."

Somewhere in the middle of her long rant, it occurred to Kagome that she might have pushed her needs on Sesshōmaru, imagined a question when there was none to begin with. Guilt-stricken, a little abashed, she cleared her throat.

"And I'm blathering about things you don't know or don't really care to know, aren't I?" Her nose scrunched up none too prettily, and she huffed. "You should have stopped me, Sesshōmaru. I tend to get carried away once I start."

There was a small pause before he spoke this time, and when he did, his voice simmered like _fire_.

"Your voice is not unpleasant."


	20. Crawling Back to You

They had been traveling in comfortable silence for the most part of the morning when Sesshōmaru informed Kagome they'd soon come upon a human village. The question of whether she wished to halt their journey and offer her skills or bypass it went unspoken, but Kagome gathered he wouldn't have mentioned it if he didn't expect an answer. Little by little, she was familiarizing herself with his behavioral patterns, the intricacies of his character. There was a plethora of signs, subtle and complex but deliberate – fluctuations in his yōki, different facets of the same expression, emotions swelling in the silence, words unsaid but actions layered with intent.

"I'm going to see if they need my help with anything." Kagome gazed at him under her lashes. Curious. Pleased. "What will you do?"

"I will visit Rin."

Light entered his eyes – paler shade of gold, gleam of affection. It was tempting, more than it should be, spawned urges she struggled to suppress. Kagome wanted to _feel_ _him_ – the texture of his skin, the pulse that beat beneath it, heat and sinewy muscle under the pads of her fingers. Teeth dragged across her lower lip, and she inhaled deeply, leashed the impulses lest her body betray the decadence that dwelt in her thoughts.

Sesshōmaru wasn't oblivious, merely didn't bother with things he had no care for, and Kagome was no longer included in the category of inconsequential things. It would be quite facile for him to connect reaction with origin once he was made cognizant of its existence. But _his_ reaction to that knowledge was harder to predict, made her self-conscious and wary. Kagome had gorged herself on denial, wasn't ready to open herself to the possibility of rejection. Until she could accept that, she'd smother the visceral pull of what she _wanted_ to do, and be mindful of what she let slip in his presence.

"All right." Her voice spilled out of her throat huskier, consonant with desire. It was fortunate that Sesshōmaru had already turned his back to leave. A murmur was all that came out of her lips as she copied him. "I'll see you later then."

"Miko." There was an inflexion in his tone that made her pause. It was coated with a monitory layer, quiet warning. "A mizuchi resides in the river near this village. Do not provoke it."

Sesshōmaru was gone before she had a chance to reply. Kagome drowned a sigh then cleared her mind of any lingering thoughts of _touch_ and _skin_ and _urge_. When she finally composed herself, she headed for the village, more alert than she would have otherwise been.

* * *

It was a poor village, even by this era's standards. Sympathy suffused her core, and Kagome suggested she could do more than treat the sick and elderly, but they refused to let her do any manual labor. Her miko status forbade them to even contemplate the thought, no matter how much Kagome insisted it amounted to nil when there were people in need before her eyes. In the end, she yielded under their obstinate refusals, and focused on searching the village for patients, hut by hut. It was now noon, but she wasn't overly weary, making her way to the next hut when someone called after her.

"Onee-chan..." A child's voice reached her ears, hushed, anxious. "Over here, onee-chan."

Kagome followed the direction it came from, peering inside the closest hut to her left. It was a boy, no more than thirteen years old, ushering her inside hurriedly. He stuck his head outside, stealing surreptitious glances, making sure nobody saw her come in. His attitude roused Kagome's intrigue, but she waited for him until he deemed it safe to talk.

"Are you really a miko, onee-chan?"

The boy stared at her with nothing sort of fascination, and perhaps hope.

"Yes, I am." She smiled a sweet smile, wondering what he needed and why he had to be so covert about it. "My name is Kagome. What's your name?"

"Jirō." His name was spoken almost absentmindedly, as if it didn't matter, then he took a sharp inhalation. "If you are a miko then you can kill yōkai."

Caught unaware, Kagome reeled back, studied the boy better. His skin was clammy, his eyes glassy with fear, and he was flexing his fingers nervously. Before anything else, she needed to calm him down, or he was going to have a panic attack. Taking him by the wrist, she guided him toward the center of the hut where some hay was spread around the fireplace, and sat down with him.

"Well, it depends on what they've done to guarantee that." She spoke softly, carefully. "Yōkai are like humans, Jirō. Not all of them are bad. I have many yōkai friends and they're all good people."

His lips drew tight; his gaze turned hard. He might not have been on the verge of hyperventilation any longer, but this wasn't the reaction she sought to elicit.

"But you can kill them, right?" he reiterated, voice gone flat.

A sigh worked its way out of her lungs, growing heavier as it was being expelled. Kagome inferred this was more than common prejudice, abandoned all platitudes, and sought the reason behind his request – because he _was_ asking her to kill a yōkai.

"What's this about, Jirō-kun? Did a yōkai hurt you?"

Perhaps it was her tone that alerted him to the fact that she abhorred senseless murder, and that she wouldn't accept asinine excuses but legitimate reason. He refused to meet her eyes then but still spoke, albeit with less bravado.

"Not me," he all but muttered. "My parents and everyone in the village are afraid and won't talk to you, but there's a bad yōkai in the river."

His gaze rose in a too-fast motion. Haunted. Frantic.

"It _eats_ people."

Maybe Kagome had become a little bit jaded after everything she'd been through all these years. She merely sighed again, finding this almost…redundant. Sesshōmaru's warning made sense now. If that mizuchi was terrorizing the village then she'd have to exterminate it. Still, from what she knew about this type of yōkai, she found it hard to believe. Mizuchi were fiercely territorial, but as long as they remained undisturbed, they posed no threat to humans. There was definitely more to this story than what the boy had revealed so far. Or it could just be a case of ignorance. Either way, she wouldn't go anywhere until she clarified this first.

"I know. It's a water dragon. They're hostile and easy to anger, but they rarely leave their nest. If you leave it alone, it probably won't bother or hurt anyone. You should just stay away from the river and you'll be fine."

Her advice not only didn't smooth things out but it brought back the boy's despair.

"You don't understand, onee-chan!" Jirō sprung up, near snapped at her, but it didn't last longer than a fragment of a second. He slumped back down, the fight wrenched out of him. Before Kagome could ask what was wrong, he was speaking again, glum-ridden.

"The water from the well is not enough for everyone in the village and it doesn't rain often here, so the village chief went to the daimyo for help. But the daimyo said he can't do anything about the yōkai and just put a toll on the water. If you can't pay it then you can't get water." He paused for a breath; his gaze became dimmer. "My friend's dad got sick and they can't pay the toll this month, so Hiro went to the river this morning…even though I tried to stop him."

His fingers curled around hers, gripped with all his might, skin ashen and knuckles white. "Onee-chan…" He more sobbed than spoke now. " _Please_ save my friend."

There was only the sound of his hiccups and tension. Thick. Ear-shattering. Kagome stared into his eyes for a quiet moment then steeled herself to the task.

"I understand, Jirō-kun." His grip loosened and he sniffed loudly. Kagome gave his hands a strong squeeze, but she wouldn't lie to him. "I promise to do all I can to save Hiro-kun if he is still alive, but you must stay here."

Jirō nodded once then gave in and cried in her lap. And Kagome sighed.

_I'm sorry, Sesshōmaru._

* * *

The trek to the river was nerve-racking. Kagome was afraid that she'd be too late, that the only thing awaiting her was torn flesh, cold viscera, and the tang of death. But she was _wrong_ , oh so gratefully wrong. Dark, messy curls and scrawny limbs filtered in her line of vision, and she hastened her steps.

"Hiro-kun!" The fact that the boy's neck whipped around as she howled his name was proof enough. She placed her hands on his shoulders when she reached him, overcome with relief. "You're Hiro-kun, right?"

His eyes narrowed by a margin, full of suspicion. "Who are you?"

She opened her mouth but closed it all at once. Kagome's joy at finding him well and in one piece was short-lived. A hunk of yōki slammed into her, almost threw her out of balance.

"We don't have time. Just run! Quickly!"

Kagome thanked her luck that she had found the boy before the dragon emerged – a mass of viridian, lustered with gold, sharp-tipped claws, maw agape and teeming with incisors. Awe-inducing, terror made scales and flesh. Time froze. Breath abated. Blood chilled.

Her nails bit into the boy's shoulders, shook him hard, and sent him sprawling as far away as she could push him. She didn't turn to look back, see if he'd regained his sense and ran to safety – he _just had to_. Kagome eyed the hulking serpent, stared into its black-slit pupils and _rage_ , instinct-wrought, feral. It was a _beast_. Even if it possessed higher intelligence – it probably did – Kagome doubted it would listen. Or perhaps it was the opposite. Dragons were intellectual creatures but rarely indulged in conversation with beings they thought beneath them….with _prey_. And prey had just trespassed into its territory, dared provoke the danger that lurked in deep waters.

A roar ripped the space in jagged pieces, drilled into her eardrums. It resonated through blood vessels, disrupted her equilibrium. Dizzy, hyper-aware, she clutched her bow and notched an arrow. Kagome didn't even have to aim due to its sheer size. Her arrow wheezed through the air, pierced through the explosion of water all around her, and flew straight to its shoulder. She watched in shock as it ricocheted with a grating sound, its arrowhead caved in and wood splintering upon impact. That was a full-power, reiki-clad shot…and it was useless. Dread seeped into her pores, churned in a pit low in her stomach.

_Damn… This isn't working. I need to find a soft spot._

Another roar rent the atmosphere, and Kagome winced. Sticky fluid filled her ear canals, obstructed her hearing. _Blood_. She realized in horror that her eardrums were perforated. It was a mistake, being distracted by the internal damage, even for a split second.

Something thick rammed into her side, slashed through layers of skin in her arm. Bones cracked, flesh shredded. _Tail_ …armored with cool scales and cusp-edged spikes. Kagome caught a glimpse of the slithery appendage as it coiled back and whipped the surface of the river after the attack. The earth seemed farther and farther away. No, that wasn't right. _She_ was flying. Time was imperative. Kagome didn't know how much longer she could retain consciousness with all these injuries and through the haze of blood loss. The landing would jar and aggravate what damage was already done but it shouldn't add much more. Grinding her teeth, she prepared herself for the onslaught of pain, and when it came, she let it all out in a blood-curdling scream. But she was _lucky_.

The patch of ground she impacted upon positioned her directly beneath the mizuchi, with a clear shot at its vulnerable underside. Kagome could only pray that her arrow would puncture its hide because she only had energy for one last attack. Lying on her uninjured side, uncaring if she cut herself on the bowstring, she pulled it as far back as it went in this stance; she then refined her reiki to its purest point, imbued the arrow with it…and fired.

An otherworldly sound erupted from the beast's throat as it thrashed and rampaged, frenzied and frothing with rage. Despite her ruined hearing, Kagome still heard it. More than that even…she _felt_ it – vibrations rippling through her body, strips of water lashing against her, blades of wind slicing through her skin. She _had_ hurt it, perhaps gravely judging by its manic outburst, but it could very well survive even that for all she knew. It didn't matter. Her strength was sapped and her body ravaged. She was nothing but _prey_ in this state, and the mizuchi wasn't the only predator here. Spilt blood called for hunters and the place brimmed with them. Now that the dragon was incapacitated, they wouldn't pass up the chance of fresh meat.

_I must…get away from here…before its wound heals._

Crawling on hands and knees, she dragged herself toward the village, though she didn't hold much hope in reaching it alive.

_I'm sorry…Sesshōmaru. I should have told you –_

Oblivion wrapped its tendrils around her mind, and she plunged into the abyss with his name stitched into her heartstrings.


	21. Ira

Sesshōmaru closed his eyes and sampled the air. Earthly smells and human odors – the zest of sweat, of plowed fields and dirt, boiled vegetables and meat-smoke. Her scent clung to particles in the air, but it was diluted with other agents, too faint and indicative of her absence. The miko had entered the village, possibly stayed for a few hours, but she was now gone.

His gaze rose to the sky, an obscure vastness of saffron and cloud-haze. Night was coming, and the miko wasn't where she was supposed to have been. Sesshōmaru didn't even contemplate the thought of venturing into the village to ask of her whereabouts. Yōki swelled and spilled outwards, swept across the land for a reaction, the sensation that sizzled down his nerve endings when it stroked her reiki. There wasn't even the slightest flare of pure energy to be found. It was…strange, unpleasant. More disconcerting than the non-pulse of reiki was the susurrus of voracity rippling in the atmosphere, the rush of hunger that stirred a hunter's instincts.

He tasted the air once more, senses sharpened, tuned to the beat of that hunger. Blood-copper, sultry and potent, primal impulse snaking across his tongue and over the points of his canines. _Human_ _blood_. Sesshōmaru was moving before he could swallow down the implications of the blood-scent, teeth gnashing and muscles seething in his thighs.

His speed slowed once he came upon the still-wet trail then stopped altogether. A lump of flesh and hair lay on the ground, wearing the form of a woman. She was broken and ripped, bent and unmoving. His lips peeled back for a soundless snarl, more baring of teeth than sound.

Sesshōmaru stood rigid and quiet, aggression pouring into veins and arteries, wrath lining his features and shaping them into something inhuman. Raw and feral-edged, dripping with violence. His feet began moving while he yet burned with things he hadn't felt for a long time, odious things, loathsome – but when his fingers brushed her skin, discolored and claw-marked, he froze. Frisson of disquiet, hot blood turning cold. Sesshōmaru dragged the backs of his fingers over her cheekbone, her soft lips. Puffs of breath slid against and between them, shallow and weak. A slow tempo slithered into his ears – echo of a heartbeat, blood-pumping organ.

She _was_ alive.

* * *

 

Her body felt heavy, swathed by numbness. It didn't last long, this blissful state of _un_ -feeling. Agony lanced through her when her nerves awoke, shock after shock of explosive pain. Blood gurgled in her throat; she was chocking and flailing, vying to respire – then she was being turned over on hands and knees, coughing and shaking with rattling tremors. There was someone behind her, strong pressure against her back, slow, steady circles. A thin membrane covered her retinas, made her vision blurry and out of focus. _Pain_. Her ears were crusted with thick fluid, but she could tell there was a voice drifting above her impaired hearing. Kagome grasped its smooth vibrations as she was being lifted off the ground and pulled against another body.

"-ko. Miko."

The foggy substance leached out of her eyes, and she made out his shape, but still struggled with sound. He was _too_ close, close enough that she could trace the distention of his pupils, black stretched and seeping into his irises, devouring the gold. A gasp crawled out of her mouth, transformed into his name, breathy and laden with confusion.

"Ses-shō-maru…"

She watched as he imbibed the gritty sound. A rise and fall of his Adam's apple, and he was speaking.

"Why are you in this state?"

There was something in his voice, in those wild eyes, that sent shivers creeping down her spine – horripilation over thin skin. Foreboding. Eerie. He was calm…and anything _but_ calm. Fatal juxtaposition. The duality of his expression alarmed her.

Kagome licked her lips, spoke despite the strain in doing so. "The mizuchi… I attacked it."

Something flashed in his gaze, like melted gold, heat of animal instinct.

"Foolish woman."

The words slipped past clenched teeth, distorted and carrying the roughness of a growl. She tasted the savagery in the sound, the quintessence of rage, and shrank into herself. Sesshōmaru radiated lethal intent, angrier than she had ever seen him before. A shudder coursed through her body. Uneasiness laved her organs, congregated in a queasy mass low in her stomach and culminated dread. Kagome parted her lips, though she didn't know what to say that would take the edge off of him, but she wasn't even given the chance to try. Hard ground touched her back, jostled her injuries and wrenched a moan out of her.

Kagome found herself staring up at him, mapping out the contours of his back. He was all angles and silence, unnaturally sharp, like a sword itching to cut into flesh and shed blood – then he began walking away.

"Wait…" Her voice came drained and wary, and she knew she couldn't stop him, but she had to ask. "Where are you…going?"

"You have left a trail steeped in your blood. The dragon must be dealt with first."

His reply flowed over his shoulder, drenched in quiet aggression, writhing with the promise of carnage. It served to allay her worriment, if slightly. At least his target was specific and no one would get caught in the crossfire.

"Do not move from here."

It was a decree, non-negotiable. Kagome chuckled wryly.

"Not like…I can."


	22. Pride and Guilt

Sesshōmaru walked along the blood-soaked trail, each step leaden, imprints of killing intent on the ground. The gold of his eyes was caliginous, tinted with visceral compulsion. Calm and wrath fused in swollen veins, hot iron surging and grazing blood vessels and tissue. _Foolish woman_. It wasn’t her fault, though. He had warned her about the mizuchi precisely because he suspected such an outcome was a possible scenario given its presence near a human village. If he wanted to place blame then he needn’t look far. Muscles contracted in his body, spasms and lactic acid. Teeth pierced the inside of his lip, filled his mouth with the metallic taste of his own failure.

The last time he had felt something similar was when Rin had perished in the netherworld. Emotions were clashing and swirling in his mind, magnified and spiked with raw edge, thundering implosion – anger warring with relief, convulsing inside the jaws of inadequacy. They meshed together in a single-minded urge, red vendetta in his narrow bones. Sesshōmaru hurled it all at the serpentine creature waiting for him at the end of the blood-path. It was still writhing and smashing its colossal body on chunks of water and soil when he severed its head. One strike of his blade, clean-cut and overflowing with yōki.

Sesshōmaru stared at the mass of flesh and razor-sharp teeth, twitching in its death throes – and he _almost_ regretted the swiftness of his attack. Instinct bulged in muscles and joints. His arm seethed with the need to slice the bloody thing into legion pieces until it was nothing but a blotch of carmine on the ground. But he couldn’t waste more time – he had already wasted enough as it was.

* * *

Kagome winced, pain erupting behind her lids, nerves over-sensitive and screaming. Fire was licking down the length of her arm; her left side felt tight, had surpassed what soreness was supposed to feel like. When she tried to draw in breath, she hissed sharply. Her lung was pressing on her ribs as it swelled to process air, made respiration toilsome. White noise buzzed in her ears, pangs of dull ache. Her lashes fluttered then rose slowly. She must have lost consciousness while she waited for Sesshōmaru to return – but he _was here_ _now_.

Her eyes traced the angle of his cheekbone, the line of his jaw, the hollow of his neck. Sensation overcame pain, made her aware of many things – like the fact that she was nestled against his chest, soft fur stroking her neck and cheek, lean arms around her waist and beneath her thighs. She smoothed her palm over his torso. There was no armor, merely fabric, and underneath that, warm muscle and the drum of his heart.

“Do not move unnecessarily.”

His voice was low and full of command, yet it soothed her ears. Kagome burrowed even closer, smiled against his pelt.

“Where are you taking me?”

“To the elder miko of your village.”

She was startled out of her placebo-like euphoria when his words registered, and she struggled a little, albeit weakly.

“No.”

Despite that she couldn’t resist him if he decided to disregard her wants, Kagome gripped the lapels of his kimono, made him stare down and into her eyes. Anger still dwelt in his gaze, she could tell, but it was eclipsed under something else. She watched as the cords in his neck tightened, as his jaw hardened.

“Miko –”

“I can take care of my wounds on my own.”

Sesshōmaru stopped walking, but didn’t release her – he held her even tighter. His lips thinned, and she realized how ridiculous she must have sounded to him, but he wasn’t the only one who valued his pride. Her arm lifted, fingers moving against his cheek, dragging over each stripe.

“Sesshōmaru…” His name was a sigh on her lips, husky and strained but unyielding. “ _Please_.”

She didn’t know what he saw in her eyes, what he heard in her voice, that caused this reaction – perhaps stubbornness, perhaps petulance – but his body seemed to shake for the barest moment. It was more vibration than rumble, sewn on his vocal cords, quiet but charged with words she knew he wouldn’t speak.

His neck tilted away from her eyes, and Sesshōmaru began walking. Kagome didn’t dare speak again, cognizant that she had exhausted his patience with her willful request.

Wisps of smoke hazed the atmosphere and heat seeped into her skin when he spoke again.

“Tend to your injuries.” Sesshōmaru lowered her to the edge of the hot springs with a fluid motion and placed her traveling pack beside her thigh. “I will not be far.”

Then he turned around, disappearing through the thick foliage.

“Thank you.” Even though he was gone from her sight, and despite that it was no more than a low murmur, Kagome was certain he’d heard her.

Gritting her teeth, she began removing her tattered clothing, piece by piece. Pain was instant, more vicious than before. A hiss escaped her throat, turned into a moan, drawn-out and heavy with suffering, when her fingers ghosted over her left arm. Blood had caked over the wounds, but three gashes still oozed with fresh blood, deep and jagged.

 _Damn… I’ll need stitches for those._ Kagome retrieved her disinfectant and numbing pastes, threads and needle, and began the procedure of cleaning and suturing them. She was nothing but agony, tremors, and chewed lips when she finished and wrapped her arm in bandages. A sling would be needed, but she should first tend to all injuries and bathe herself the best she could. Her gaze fell on her side then, assessed the internal damage by the color of the bruises and how the bones felt under her fingertips. _Fractured ribs_. There was no need to bind them in this case, or more accurately, she _shouldn’t_. Her eardrums would heal on their own, so there was nothing to do there as well.

She was…a mess. Kagome couldn’t even laugh at her pitiful state without aggravating her ribs. Hence, she stifled a sigh, and carried on with cleansing the rest of her body.

* * *

Sesshōmaru had to actually support her back to the campfire he had started, but at least she could walk. Kagome kept her gaze transfixed on the bright flames, unusually somber and dismal. He hadn’t said a word to her, not even a reprimand, which struck her more deeply, made her want to apologize…for being who she was. Tension grew and spilled into the silence, thick and demanding. When she couldn’t stand it any longer, she spoke above the sparks of light and warmth.

“You must think I’m an idiot.”

He didn’t reply immediately, and when he did, Kagome still didn’t discern reprimand in his tone.

“You are usually less foolish than to attack an enemy you cannot defeat.”

It was passive-aggressive, with hints of frustration, but mostly he sounded…resigned. Kagome didn’t think her reason for how things turned out this way would make a change, but she owed it to him to try and explain.

“I didn’t really have a choice. A boy’s life was in danger.”

His eyes found hers amidst the fire. They held the same qualities as his voice – glare of copper-gold, as cold as they were hot.

“That is called foolishness. It will lead to your death one day.”

Kagome shifted with discomfort that had little to do with her injuries.

“I’m sorry I got you involved…” she whispered, fraught with guilt.

Sesshōmaru observed her closely, intently. A sigh made its way out of his chest, but it was too low a sound for Kagome’s damaged ears to catch. His demeanor, though, seemed to change drastically after that.

“I was aware of your nature and the mizuchi’s presence. You may be foolish, yet it was my failure that resulted in your injuries.”

 _Ah_. It appeared guilt went both ways. Kagome shook her head, thinking that this was so very like him, unnecessarily necessary.

“You gave me warning, Sesshōmaru. I made a conscious choice to ignore it.” Laughter climbed up her throat before she could halt it, rasp-licked and painful. “You can’t save me from myself.”

His lashes lifted higher; his body tensed and slanted forward. Kagome swore he was about to leap over the campfire but refrained at the last minute.

“Do your wounds pain you?” was all he said instead.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” Kagome waved a hand habitually, almost carelessly. Then she remembered she only had one hand to wave, and frowned. “Though it’s been a while since I’ve received such heavy injuries. That dragon was something else.”

His poise became languid once more – a contrast to the raptness of his gaze. He watched her more closely, more intently now.

“Mizuchi have scales resilient to reiki, thus being unfavorable opponents for miko. I have not heard of any miko who has ever wounded one.”

A gleam scintillated in his eyes, oddly unfamiliar. Kagome struggled to place what it meant since she doubted if she’d seen it before.

“It was rather impressive.”

The last word was accented in a manner similar to that gleam, and Kagome finally grasped its components. It was one part skepticism and two parts acknowledgment.

A smirk lodged itself on one side of her face. “You mean the dragon or that I managed to hurt it?”

His stare turned droll. It only made her half-smirk grow into a full-blown smirk…until he spoke.

“If the mizuchi was impressive, I would not have slain it with one strike.”

A thin brow rose pointedly.

“So it was impressive enough for _me_ to scratch it while being seriously injured but not impressive enough for _you_ to struggle against it. Is that what you’re saying?”

“Precisely.”

She huffed.

“Insufferable man.”

Sesshōmaru gave her nothing but a quirk of lips and his customary _hn_. Kagome had to commend him for the eloquence of that grunt. It was never a mere _hn_ , and this time, it suspiciously sounded like… _foolish woman._ She chuckled – a grimace and huskiness, half-pain, half-amusement.


	23. A Little Bit of Worry

Kagome awoke to throbbing sensations and the smell of raw flesh. Falling asleep on her cracked ribs might have been medically advisable if she wanted to breathe, but it was excruciating for her mangled arm. The sutures pulled at her torn skin; her bandage was saturated with dried blood, had near fused with the lacerations and made them burn and sting. At least another day should pass before she attempted changing them, though. And her face was touching the nose of a large deer – a _dead_ deer.

Brown eyes stared at her lifelessly, glassy and palliated with the frost of death. She blinked, almost expecting it to blink as well. Blood was smeared on its fur, rubbing on her cheek when she made the barest motion. Slowly, instinctively, she inched back and away from the animal carcass, holding what breath was left in her.

"Miko."

Sesshōmaru's voice nearly made her jump out of her skin. Air whooshed out of her lungs in a gasping exhalation, chest rising and falling erratically. Kagome trembled with the insane urge to laugh…not that she could. What was it with this man and dead animals? Was he trying to lead her to an early grave to help her escape her own idiocy of unwisely choosing her opponents? Biting her lip to smother the laughter gurgling in her throat, she squeezed her eyes shut, and banged her head to the ground.

When she was calm, her lids rose; Kagome peeked at him under thick lashes. "Good morning, Sesshōmaru."

He didn't return the greeting, merely gazed at her – half-lidded curiosity. Kagome was certain that her antics were far less bizarre and worth of intrigue than his feeding methods, but chose to keep that thought to herself. He _was_ providing her with nourishment, after all. Shaking her head, she stood and eyed the deer, speculation creasing her brows. It was… _too_ large. In her weak state, it would be a feat just to skin it, but there was no other choice if she wanted to eat.

One hour later, in the midst of silent curses, tufts of fur sticking to her skin, and blood coagulating around her fingers, Sesshōmaru deigned to speak.

"Do you not know the meaning of rest?"

By then, Kagome had half a mind to cuss him out on principle alone. The irony of his words was like salt being poured into her wounds. She was a cluster of sweat, frustration, and acidity.

"Of course I do." Her neck slanted, and she smiled at him, her smile tight, saccharine. And mocking. "It's a bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities."

His stony expression told her he was neither impressed nor amused. Not that she cared.

" _Woman_." It was a rumble but smooth sound, low and swelling with warning.

Teeth flashed behind her smile, made it tighter, toxically sweet. "Why thank you…for noticing my gender."

No rumble. No words. Silence reigned supreme. His eyes traveled down her body, lingered on the lines of perspiration lapping down the length of her arms, the juts of her collarbone. Disapproving, chiding. The action was telling, spoke louder than anything he could have said. Kagome found her smile slipping from her lips, shame taming her bite; she averted her gaze, realizing how childish her behavior was. Sesshōmaru was concerned for her well-being…and she was throwing a tantrum.

Her throat felt like she had swallowed broken glass, but still she spoke, subdued and cut on that shame. "I'm sorry for being snarky, but pain does that to people."

It must have been half-decent as far as apologies went because there was no edge in him now.

"If you exercised some restraint then your pain would be allayed."

Kagome knew he didn't mean to be sarcastic, but he was missing some important points she felt compelled to bring to attention. A sigh tangled with her tongue, struggled to be released. She swallowed it back down, and raised her eyes to his level once more.

"I appreciate all that you do for me, Sesshōmaru. _I really do_. But the meat isn't going to cook itself, you know…"

"If you would seek help –"

"No." Kagome cut him off before he could even finish that thought. It was bad enough that _he_ was worried for her. Adding to the number of people who saw her at her weakest would only make her feel like an invalid. "I don't want to crawl back to Kaede-bāchan and Rin-chan and have them take care of me."

Sesshōmaru fell silent again, and she unshackled that sigh.

"You mentioned your wish to visit the taijiya village."

Suspicion slashed across her mind, puckered her lips. Kagome loathed quarreling with him, especially when it made her appear so immature. Pride was a double-edged blade.

"Are you implying that I should let Sango-chan nurse me instead?"

Tension thickened; time slowed. She steeled herself for another lash of his gaze…but it never came. Sesshōmaru wasn't even staring at her – eyes closed, lips thinned. Stiffness slathered his features, awkward vibes.

"I…do not know how to prepare meals fit for humans."

 _Ah_. It was so easy to see but so hard to fathom. Because he was being so _human_ in this moment that it was…unnatural. _Everything_ melted away – stubbornness, bellicosity, even pride. Kagome was too humbled…and defeated.

"All right." She smiled at him, and this time, it was hopelessly sweet. "Let's go visit Sango-chan."

* * *

The midday sun blazed bright and hot, but it didn't touch Kagome's skin until they reached the gates of the taijiya village. The fact that Sesshōmaru had even used his yōki orb for transportation roused greater guilt inside her. Kagome wondered if she should judge his levels of worry based on the prey he hunted for her henceforth. A deer _was_ significantly larger than a mere hare. She chuckled at her own musings, part-amused, part-drained. Perhaps being with him was synonymous with forsaking her sanity.

Her gaze trailed across his face. His expression was hard-set, his posture inflexible. Sesshōmaru wouldn't take one step farther than where he stood. Kagome tried to dissuade what those signs suggested, if only for the mere sake of it.

"Won't you come inside the village for a little while?"

He cast down a stare – hard gold, lustrous metal.

"It is a village of yōkai slayers."

His answer was adamant, bordered on cynicism. It was nothing but a statement, absolute and beyond placation. Still, she tried again, emulating some of the qualities in his tone.

"I don't think any of them can slay _you_ – or will even attempt to do so."

A slim brow arched. "That is beside the point, miko."

Kagome had to concede defeat. It wasn't his words themselves but _how_ he spoke them – light rumble, light humor. Sesshōmaru must have found her attempts diverting if he was indulging in his particular brand of teasing her.

Her mouth curled with a piqued twist, and she huffed. But she was enjoying their banter.

"Will you be near then?"

His chin dipped in a nod. "Have your pack mate tend to your needs. I will not be far should you wish for my company."

Neck craned back, eyes narrow, she gazed up at him.

"You'd better not be."

Half-joke. Half-warning.

The way his eyes gleamed with sharpness, how his lips twitched, made it obvious he had inferred the connotations – and that he was more than a little amused.

"Is that a threat?"

There was provocation in his voice, and more of that teasing hue. Kagome drank in its huskiness, his challenge, all the things that made her flush and shiver.

"Oh yes." Her tongue dragged across her upper lip, drew his eyes to the slick motion. She grinned with sass, voice emphatic and full of mock-threat. "You should fear my displeasure. You might not be aware of it, but I am the miko who injured a mizuchi."

His gaze unlocked from her lips, traced the smoothness of her skin until he met her eyes. Slow movement, deliberate. Urge liquefied in dark gold, intrinsic, intimate.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, is it?"

 _Those_ eyes, _that_ voice – they ignited sensations, heat pulsing and coiling around flesh and soft tissue, merging in a mass of cravings in the apex of her thighs. She licked her lips, watched as his eyes lowered once more.

"Exactly." Out of breath, swollen with need, Kagome doubted she could keep up the pretense much longer, so she did the only thing she could – she crossed the threshold of the village and fled from temptation.


	24. Killing Me Softly

Shock and bewilderment suffused the atmosphere when Kagome all but barged into the hut where Miroku's holy aura pulsed distinctly – then a babeldom erupted. Voices rang in her ears, high-pitched and ecstatic; arms enfolded various parts of her body, from her shoulders to her waist down to her ankles. Kagome bore with the jarring display of emotion, swapping pain for affection. It appeared she had interrupted their lunch, judging by the array of plates and bowls on the table and the children's sullied lower faces. Smiling, filled with warmth, she allowed to be led at the table and be seated between the twins, Hanae and Kaori. They were still gripping the sleeves of her kimono, smiling in the way only children could. Sango and Miroku sat across from her with their youngest son, Yūta, on Miroku's lap.

She was pelted with a barrage of questions before she could even lift her chopsticks, not that she expected otherwise. Two hours passed with friendly conversation, Sango fretting over her injuries, Miroku's clever yet not-so-clever for his scalp jests, and light, childish giggling.

"I still can't believe you fought a mizuchi and survived to tell the tale." Disapproval and admiration colored Sango's tone in equal doses. She shook her head, wiping her son's drooling mouth.

The twins stared at her with eyes wide and full of awe.

"Auntie is strong!"

"Stronger than papa!"

"Now, now…" Miroku laughed, his gaze half-serious and half-amused. "There is no need for biased comparisons."

An indelicate snort came from Sango's side. "Don't you mean accurate?"

Miroku's mouth parted for a heavy sigh. "The women in this family are cruel. Your visit is a blessing, Kagome-sama."

Her lips twitched with the beginnings of laughter, and Kagome gave in to a little bit of the discomfort it brought.

"I really missed you, guys."

"You should have visited sooner then." Sango's voice might have been chiding but it wasn't entirely directed at Kagome as it seemed. "I'd have come to see you, but I can't when I'm getting pregnant every year and a half."

Beads of sweat clung to Miroku's temples. "My dear Sango is exaggerating. It has been more than –"

One loud clearing of throat. Sango's palm stroked her distended abdomen meaningfully.

Miroku stiffened then stood. "I shall clean the plates."

Kagome waited until he disappeared inside the kitchen, the twins following suit, before she gave a short chuckle.

"That was mean of you, Sango-chan."

Sango shrugged but there was mischief in her eyes. "He likes it." Intrigue replaced the impious glint in her gaze then, and she smirked. "But enough about us. What I want to know is how you ended up traveling with Inuyasha's brother of all people."

"It just happened?" A frown wedged itself between Kagome's brows, and she realized that she meant it. There was more than simply that, though. "I don't really know myself. Sesshōmaru is actually…nice." A smile. "And caring." A sigh. "And –"

Sango barked out a laugh. "Alright, I get it. No need to sing the man's praises."

Until Sango phrased it like that, this thought hadn't occurred to Kagome. It wasn't a lie but not the truth either. For some ridiculous reason, Kagome felt the need to make Sango understand that her words weren't empty accolades.

"I wasn't… He just _is_ all that."

Sango's mouth twisted into something sly. " _Heeh_."

It didn't take a genius to grasp the question riding on that shrewd _heeh_. Kagome huffed then mimicked Sango's smirk. "And yes, _I_ _like_ _him_."

"I didn't ask."

"You didn't have to."

* * *

A week passed by in the blink of an eye. The taijiya village was full of laughter, the clangor of metal, and strangely, domestication. It was a community but dissimilar to the tight-knit bonds of a pack. Everyone held a position, responsibilities, unique based on skill and experience, yet it was human structure that kept this village functional. Miroku and Sango acted more relaxed than she'd ever seen them, no shadows in wary eyes, no pulse of revenge in hot blood. They had built a life here, the life both of them had longed for so long, swarming with children, loud banter at the dinner table, and tenderness beneath snippy words.

It reminded Kagome of all the things she could have had if she hadn't been as self-willed and left her village in search of adventure and some deep-rooted purpose even she couldn't fully understand. Maybe she could have settled down with a man and raised her own family, even if it meant she'd compromise and change herself – because no man of this era could handle her temperament, progressive views, and wayward tongue. But _it was too late_. She now wanted no man, no community, no village. What she wanted punctured the membrane of possibility, plunged into chaos and self-doubt. Sesshōmaru was yōkai, not _man_ as she knew them to be – and even among his kind, he was…an exception.

He may consider her _pack_ , under his protection and care, but that was a far cry from the things she craved. Kagome was human, with all the imperfections that defined one of her kind, maybe even more so in her offbeat case. The mere notion of _him_ being remotely interested in _her_ belonged to the sphere of wistfulness, somewhere between absurdity and audacity. Kagome was all too aware of that. It was an indisputable, rational fact. But then why did that capricious, wretched organ she called a heart refuse to see reason and heel under it? Maybe it was her fate that was capricious and wretched, always having her chase after what she couldn't have. If so, fate had a twisted sense of humor. Whatever the case may be, Kagome couldn't deny one thing. _She missed him_ – the variations of gold in his eyes, the inflexions in his voice, the heat of his body, silence welling with implications, skin against skin and raw instinct.

A week had passed – and she had _enough_ …of wanting him, not seeing him, not feeling him. Perhaps it was shameless of her to exploit the closeness he permitted for her pathetic wants, but she was past the point of caring for right and wrong. In the end, she was the only one who'd hurt, and she supposed that had always been her excuse. It was fine if the pain was borne by her alone.

* * *

The moon hung heavy and high, pale glow in the midst of amorphous shapes. It was dark hours, wrapped in black haze, when she entered the forest near the village. Insidious. Sultry. Kagome felt its lure more potently tonight, the urge to do things better done in the dark. Thrill-ridden, nerve-edged, she yearned for the brush of his yōki – to _feel_ him.

"You should be resting, miko."

His voice rippled over her skin, wound around her body, smooth like coils of silk-web. Kagome spun around, too quickly. Her back collided with the bark of a tall tree, sent jolts of pain down her vertebrae. She winced but molded herself to the rough surface, stared up at him through heavy-lidded eyes.

Sesshōmaru appraised her quietly. When she still didn't speak, he might have doubted her abilities for cognition – because he thought it necessary to word his advice in a more elaborate manner, if slightly cynic.

"It defeats the purpose of your visit if you are gallivanting in the woods at night with no care for your body's condition or predators."

It sparked boldness inside her, made her impulsive, belligerent. Chin angled high, lips pursed, she huffed.

"Aren't you a sweet talker?"

Her eyes rose to his face, burning inside, rush after rush of hot blood, and she found herself ripping through the veil, the fathomless gold that was his stare. Time stopped. He was… _too close_.

"It occurs to me that you have taken liberties far above merely discarding formalities."

His words were deliberate, too blunt yet cunning – and he was leaning above her, a mere breadth's away, heat so intense it seeped through skin, licking bones and muscles. Shivers lathered on her skin; tingles slithered down her spine. Kagome could even smell him this close. His scent was thickly potent. A crisp fragrance but woodsy with spicy notes, light hints of sakura blossoms…and the scent of _man_.

Kagome stared at him, tongue-tied. Myriad thoughts raced in her brain. She was stunned, numb. Her lips seemed to move on their own; her vocal cords formed whatever words they wanted.

"You don't say." What poured out of her mouth defied logic but writhed with suggestion. "Do you dislike it?"

Sesshōmaru didn't move away, caged her under him without even touching her, merely standing close. _Too_ close. Her eyes traced the contours of his lips, waiting, dreading…hoping.

"No."

His voice spilled in her ear, an amalgam of smokiness and intent. Heavy, narcotic. It was a low whisper, thick in insinuations, dripping with sensuality. This was _madness_. His voice _was_ madness. But once she started, she found herself unable to stop…baiting him.

"So you like it?"

His head dipped before she could process the movement, lips pressing, tasting. Her legs were weak, barely supported her. She was liquid heat, smeared on that tree and his mouth. A moan raked her throat, clamored for release, and she let it out, let him in – the motions of his tongue, the graze of his teeth, sinuous and dominant. Air was becoming nothing but a memory of necessity. Lightheaded, almost swaying on her feet, she breathed his name.

"Sesshōmaru…"

He stilled. Slowly, lazily, he spoke against her lips, voice gone husky and less smooth.

"Go back –" Teeth sank into her bottom lip, clamped down and nipped – a sinful tease. Then one lick of tongue, slow and lavish and dragging on flesh sensitized. "And rest."

She was panting with heavy breaths, dazed and stimulated to searing sensations. Her tongue darted out, swept across the lip he had been nibbling but seconds ago. It was still wet, tingling, marked by his teeth and the roughness of his tongue. Kagome dared gaze up and into his eyes – they were dark honey, raw and pulling her in deep. Frozen in place, she felt hands sliding down her sides, drawing her closer, breath and lips hot against her neck – then pushing her away gently, firmly. Kagome moved, almost mechanically, allowing her feet to lead her back to the village.

_Did he just…kiss me?_

* * *

Sesshōmaru watched her leave, shackled the impulse to follow after her. She was an outline of slender bones and messy hair, slinking into the night with slow motions. The taste of plum liquor and sweetness was ingrained on his tongue, the feel of her lips, swollen and malleable under his, open for him and gasping his name. The way his name had fallen from those lips – breathless, wanton, _wanting_ – had been the breaking point. Humans were so fragile, bruised and bled too easily. If he wasn't careful…and he was teetering on the edge of precipitance. She might think she knew what she was doing, and perhaps she did…to a point – luring him with those lips and moans, chiseling his control and urging him to take _more_ , ravish her soft flesh and drink up the sounds that spilled out of her throat and into his mouth.

Yōkai weren't made for restraint, gentle touches and tameness – and she gave _too much_. She always did. Then she _thought_ too much. A sound rumbled in his throat, not quite a chuckle but rippling with amusement. It might be another kind of pleasure to let her struggle and writhe and burn, striving for an answer she already possessed. Humans were...irrationally complicated – or perhaps only their women.


	25. Dubious Experiments

It was mid-morning, the sun was warm but not too warm, ten days after their arrival to the taijiya village, and three days after the devastation that was _his kiss_. Kagome was carelessly stirring ingredients for some kind of paste, engrossed in thoughts that had nothing to do with medicinal purposes and all to do with the man whose taste haunted her lips.

"Kagome-chan?"

Kagome hadn't even noticed Sango entering the hut until she'd called out to her. The taijiya was peering over her shoulder with a rather disturbed expression, almost afraid to come too close. Something _did_ reek now that she noticed. Nose wrinkled, Kagome near heaved.

"Mhm?"

Sango's brows creased with speculation and disgust, and she veered away from Kagome.

"What exactly are you making?"

Kagome's gaze darted to the murky, foul-smelling mixture that swirled in the clay bowl. She vaguely identified liver's blood, lizards' tongues, and fish innards. _What_ in the name of kami was she trying to make?

"I – I have no idea…"

The nauseating concoction needed to be disposed of immediately. When Kagome returned to the hut, hands and bowl washed, Sango was lazing against the hay bedding with a hand over her rounded belly, but her eyes were sharp. Kagome knew there was a question coming, and she was proven right not a second later.

"Wanna tell me what this is about?"

A sigh made its way out of her lips with a deep exhalation. It wasn't as if Kagome wanted to hide things from Sango, though.

"Sesshōmaru…" A flash of heat. A hitching of breath. His name sizzled down her tongue, spilled out throaty and wrapped in need.

Sango chuckled. "Yeah, I figured that part."

"…kissed me."

"Oh?"

That _oh_ was laced with intrigue and slyness. Kagome's lips puckered, and she sighed again.

"I'm not sure how it happened…or why."

Her eyes fell on Sango's reclining form, beseeching, begging.

A hum came from Sango's side, wreathed with amusement. "Well, in my understanding, a man kisses a woman because he feels things for her." At Kagome's sullen glare, she chuckled again, slier, unrepentant. "Have you talked with him about it yet?"

Kagome shook her head, muttering under Sango's close scrutiny.

"No…I'm still dazed and – trying to believe it _did_ happen."

Sango gave her nothing but a shrug and solid logic.

"You like him, and apparently, he likes you, too. What's there to think about?"

Kagome felt like ripping her hair out of its very roots.

"He's…well, you know how he is. And I am… _me_." A strangled sound tickled her throat, dipped in vexation. Kagome paced back and forth, anxious. "I mean, I think too much and always make a big deal out of things and maybe he didn't mean anything by it. Maybe it was just a spur of the moment kind of thing. I did sort of…provoke him."

Sango waved a hand with aplomb.

"A kiss is a kiss. I don't see how you could have misinterpreted that." A roguish smirk touched her lips then. "You can always kiss him again and see how that works out."

Another glare. Another smirk.

"You're having fun, aren't you?"

"Just a little bit."

* * *

A week passed before she mustered the determination to seek him once more, demand answers to the insanity that roiled inside her mind. What if she _had_ made a mistake? What if all her steps would lead to was humiliation? Then _why_ – why had he kissed her, why had he dismissed her afterwards? Endless doubt and whys. Kagome was a knotted mess of insecurity and apprehension, trekking aimlessly, dreading their meeting, anticipating – and Sesshōmaru was…staring at her.

Her feet came to an abrupt stop, stiff and rooted to the ground. Scenarios played on her mind, over and over, each one with an unfavorable ending. There were many things she could have said, many questions she could have asked, yet all that came out of her mouth was an assertion, bleeding with aggression.

"You kissed me."

It sounded more like…an accusation. She could have slapped herself then, probably would have turned and left, boiling with shame, had he not spoken.

"Thoroughly."

Neither his voice nor his expression had wavered in the least. _What did he – ?_ Kagome blinked once, twice. Her mouth opened and closed. When she finally managed to process the meaning of that sole word, laughter bubbled in her lungs, dispersed wariness and all bleak predictions. Not only wasn't he slighted but he was… _thoroughly_ amused. Sesshōmaru's mood loosened that cord of tightness around her neck, made her want to tease him back, and she did.

Arms crossed, lips twitching, she huffed.

"Don't complete my sentence with what you want to believe."

Sunlight reflected in his eyes, bright gleam of gold and warmth.

"It was naught but fact."

Kagome took one step closer, and another. _Mistake_.

"And if I doubt that fact?"

The words had barely left her cheeky mouth when her wrist was tugged forward and her body tumbled off balance. A yelp escaped her throat, and she fell on him, sprawled all over his lap. Shock delayed her reactions, or perhaps the blame lay with proximity and his scent. She had no other excuse for why she found her thighs splitting over his hips, her fingers gripping the lapels of his kimono, his voice spilling into her ear.

"Repetition is the basic rule of experimentation."

There was such a hypnotic quality to his voice, so smooth that it became nefarious. She shivered, arched against him, emboldened and tongue out of control. Her hands snaked inside the rich silk, nude skin and sinewy muscle under the pads of her fingers.

"Mm. What else?"

"Variations of the same action."

Breath hot and fanning over her lips.

"Pressure."

Teeth sinking sinfully. Lips bitten and nibbled.

"Suction."

Lips closing and sucking. Flesh captive and drawn into his mouth.

"Duration."

Tongue stroking, plunging inside. Rough licks along the seam of skin swollen, the underside of her tongue and the hollows in her mouth.

She was panting, out of breath and aching, breasts heavy with arousal, nipples teased into hard peaks and grazing against his chest.

"That was most…thorough." Huskiness against his lips, absent thought but full of moan and want. Her eyes sought his, hungry glaze and questions. "What are we doing, Sesshōmaru?"

He gazed at her. Calm. Quiet. It was nothing but thin façade, tenuous control. When he spoke, it shattered with a rasping sound.

"Will the answer make a difference?"

Teeth worried chewed lips. She shook her head, sighed.

"I don't know…maybe."

He moved beneath her, and she moved with him, swallowed back another moan. Heat of reaction. Soaking need and oversaturation. Even this little motion felt _so good_ when he did it. Hands smoothed down her waist, settled on the curves of her hips…and pushed her down on him. Lust dripped low and within, drenched all the layers of fabric between them.

 _Gods…_ If he didn't stop this soon, she'd descend into madness. But nothing compared to that gleam in his eyes, that hue in his voice. Venery melted into gold and rumble.

"What do you want, miko?"

"To kiss you. Again." Breathless. Pleading. "It's crazy and impossible and…I can't help it." _Honest_. Too much and hopelessly. "I'm so attracted to you, it's making me dizzy. All I can think about is –"

"Stop thinking."

His mouth was on hers before she could protest – not that she would – devouring words and the remnants of her logic. Sinuous tangling of tongues and thighs. She coiled around him, nails welting his shoulder blades and breasts flattened on his torso. Urgency lanced through her, spilled into her veins, rush of quicksilver and the burn of things decadent – then his mouth left hers just as quickly. Sesshōmaru near wrenched himself back with a gritting of teeth.

"Go back."

His voice had regressed to something gravelly, seething with primal urge. Kagome shifted on his lap, hips bucking, pressing closer. She could _feel_ _so much_ of him now – yōki licking at patches of exposed skin, sparks of electric firestorm on raw nerves, and he was so hot and hard, pulsing rhythm and eagerness between her thighs, that she moved again on instinct, rubbed her core against him. Denial grazed her throat, shaped itself into a moan and a husky _but_.

"But –"

" _Go now_."

Growl of command, full of warning and animal impulse. Sharp nails raked down her thighs, fingers curling and dipping into soft flesh, squeezing tight. Sesshōmaru made her still, ground against her, once. A hiss that became a mewl, delicious friction and one lap of tongue, dragging up her neck, tasting the beat that raged within. She squirmed against the steely grip, gasped for more – more of his sounds, the wetness of his tongue, that pulse of hotness at the apex of her thighs. _More_.

She stared into his eyes, blue hazed with lust, confusion and complaints on the tip of her tongue. His gaze was umbrous, dark with refusal, told her he wouldn't give more no matter how much she begged…but there was _something_ in his eyes, in the way they traced her lips as she panted for breath, a little less restrained, wild.

"Do not come again until your injuries have fully healed."

 _Ah_. It wasn't refusal but something else entirely. Kagome licked her lips, watched as he stalked the slick motion, felt him shake with restriction and holding back. Reluctantly, with deliberate languor, she lifted herself up and away, nails digging into his shoulders, almost pulling him with her.

She cast down eyes smoky and laden with need, inched back slowly, each step light with hesitance, ready to flee at the barest sign. He more than liked that – she could tell by the tensing of his body, how he swayed forward, muscles flexing and pupils dilated, itching to give chase. Feral edge, predatory. A wicked smirk split her lips, and she ran.

* * *

Sesshōmaru closed his eyes, features strung, agitated. Her scent lingered in the air he breathed, creamy and thick with arousal, made everything more potent. Urges lurked near the edge of silence, intrinsic, infeasible to eschew. Devious – woman, tongue, smirk. She was sweet agony and swollen flesh. How timidly she had approached him, like a nervous rabbit, and how daringly she'd fled.

His teeth ached. His body throbbed. His control was slipping. Two more weeks. He'd give her two more weeks to mend her wounds – and then she was fair game. _His –_ to tease, lick, and bite into her.


	26. Taste of Reality

Time flowed with subtle fluctuations of thought and motion. Two weeks felt like two years. Kagome knitted and nursed her wounds, allowed her body to recuperate and heal. Her mind, though, was another matter. Exhaustion was too mild a word to encompass all the torture that she had inflicted upon her poor brain with conjectures and what ifs. There was but _one_ surety – and a legion of velleities. Sesshōmaru _wanted_ her – the origin, nature, and endgame of that want were mysteries secreted in the enigma that was the man himself. Riddle enmeshed in riddle and undeniable attraction. Kagome held no doubt as to what would happen next they meet – their last encounter had made that perfectly clear – and was cognizant of the fact that Sesshōmaru had left the choice in _her_ hands.

If she wanted to be honest, it was less choice and more inevitability. Kagome wasn't like the women of this era, placed little value in chastity before marriage. Her concerns gravitated elsewhere. As long as there was love…nothing that happened between people was immoral or worthy of condemnation. And therein lay _the_ question. _Was_ there love? Lust, yes. But _love_?

Love spawned from the matrix of lust was natural progression in her perception. But her rationale wasn't that of a typical human – and Sesshōmaru wasn't even human. He was _yōkai_ , operated under a set of rules she was horribly unknowledgeable in. His predilection to laconism and aversion of elucidation didn't make things easier either. Did it really matter in the end? He had claimed she was _pack_ , and that seemed to explain _everything_. But where did their quirky entanglement fall in the scale of pack interaction?

Infinite buts and questions with no answers – all she had. And _lust_. Heavy, sultry, hewn by intrinsic impulsion and _wanting_ to submit. If nothing else, Kagome was helplessly _honest_. She _would_ go to him, and she would give in. Because she knew the _real_ truth and not the one in all the fairy tales her father had read to put her to sleep. It was the closest she would ever come to love.

* * *

Earthly smells and summer-lust saturated the night, pulsed apace with the hum of wind. The sky was a starless dark. Potent. Arousing. Kagome breathed in the temptation, the telluric fragrances, heard the siren snares; she allowed herself to be seduced, induced to need – then her senses sought Sesshōmaru, made her cravings known. She felt him a little too late, grabbed him much too soon. A violent _thunk_ , hard muscle under her palms, lips meshing hotly and urgency, lust brewing quietly beneath the surface, and _fire_. Kagome arched into the kiss, bit his lips and pulled at his clothes, impatient, fervent – but then hands clasped the curve of her waist, steely grip and restraint, stilling, holding her in place.

" _Easy_ , woman."

His voice slid across her lips, simmering metal, command distilled into sound. She shivered, knees gone weak, trembling. The fog that clouded her senses dissipated, and she could finally make out their position. Kagome had him pinned against the bark of an old oak, shameless assault, unbridled; she had almost devoured him in the haze of the moment, instinct-driven. Embarrassment flooded the part of her brain not conquered by hormones. Speech eluded her, gaze downcast and avoiding his eyes.

"Yes." There was satisfaction in that single word, and dominance. Her lashes rose slowly, eyes seeking, boring into his. Gold deliquesced, ravenous glint and keenness. Her gaze traced the motions of his lips, starving for the merest sliver of sound.

"Slow." She swallowed his voice, that maddening rasp in it. "And easy."

A moan writhed across her tongue, spilled past her lips, needy and seething for him. She barely noticed the swish of fabric as knots were being unraveled, cotton slinking down her hips and pooling around her feet. Restraint turned into pressure; places were swapped. Her body was being lifted up, and higher, gliding against that same tree, the lapels of her kimono gaping open and thighs spreading around his shoulders.

Disoriented, overcome with dizziness, she stared down at him, heavy-lidded confusion. His eyes were level to her core, bare and flushed for him. Breath hot and fanning over her sex, shoulders broad and still under her weight. A strangled gasp echoed in the silence, high-strung and stricken with mortification.

"What are you –"

Sesshōmaru stared up at her from between her thighs. The gold of his eyes was molten, intentions naked and slathered with decadence.

"Taste comes first."

She opened her mouth to say something, _anything_. One languorous lick – the flat of his tongue dragged along the seam of skin burning and inwards, smearing wetness, morphing what voice still dwelt in her vocal cords into ineloquent sounds and breathy gasps. Her spine bent and arched off the tree, neck rolling back and lids fluttering, nipples stiff and thrust into the night breeze.

"Oh – oh gods…" She was shivers and spams, perspiration and huskiness, hips bucking wildly, fingers threading into his hair. One swirl of tongue around flesh sensitized and slickness. His lips closed around that ball of soft tissue and nerves, sinful suction and madness. White light flashed beneath her lashes. Ecstasy rippled over her skin, shock after shock of static electricity. But _it wasn't enough_.

"More… _please_." Her voice was raptured raw, hiss of a moan, _begging_. Then _she felt them_ – fingers moving precipitately, grazing high along the inside of her thigh, and higher, delving deep and within. They curved and twisted in all the right ways, against softness and wet heat, dipping and pressing, back and forth, sinuous penetration. In and out. Pleasure grew and thickened, erupted in a crescendo of moans and palpitation, muscles gripping, swallowing his fingers deeper.

Her fingers curled into the mass of argent strands, yanked lightly, made him stare up into her eyes, gasping for breath and coming undone with his name on her lips. The sound he made, guttural and from deep within his chest, the dark lush of his pupils, distended and feral, the last brush of his tongue made her plunge over the edge. Kagome fell over that cliff, into the ravine of apotheosis.

Rough patches of wood raked along the line of her spine as she was being lowered to the ground, legs wobbly and useless of support. Her lungs burned with each draw of breath. Kagome was panting and heaving, flesh oversensitive and slick at the apex of her thighs. Inflammation of nerves and tingles of euphoria. She licked her lips, dragged her gaze all over him, drinking in the littlest indications of _his_ satiety. He was all angles and animal instinct, tongue licking off her essence on his lips, aggression trickling down the points of his fangs.

A shudder surged inside her body, pinpricks of arousal, tiny stings of pain and pleasure. When his fingers enclosed her wrist, pulled her hand down and over hard flesh, another moan crept up her throat, prolonged and heavy with foretaste. Teeth sank into her bottom lip, shackled the wanton sound. Sesshōmaru guided her motions, made her press and stroke and squeeze, up and down, languid rhythm, a terrible tease. Her nails scraped over the jut of his hipbone; her fingers hooked on the laces of his hakama and pulled once.

His mouth crashed against hers just as her hand slipped inside. Sinewy clashing of tongues and lips and teeth. Her fingers wrapped around his cock. Light grip, careful. He was smooth and burning under her touch, made her burn with him. Kagome gripped him tighter, kissed him harder, and he thrust into her hand, pushed her back against the tree. A growl filled her mouth, wild sound. Her thumb brushed the tip of his cock, slow glide of skin against skin, drenched with his arousal. She rubbed the zesty heat along the length of his erection. It made him feel hotter, harder –

"Enough."

Sesshōmaru was pulling back and out of her grasp. _Too soon_. A protest abraded the walls of her throat, clawing to be released, almost a whine. Kagome reached for him again, unsatisfied.

"Later." Low-spoken. Forbidding.

It incited her as much as it turned her on, that domineering undertone, his blatant denial. Kagome _wanted_ to argue, wanted to feel him –

Hot flesh slithered slowly, painstakingly. Again. And again. And she was being lifted up high – _again_ – thighs splitting and knees bending, ankles interlaced low on his waist. Knuckles curling, nails digging into his forearms, she was trapped between his body and the gnarled surface of that tree. Kagome clung to him, swept up into delirium and unintelligible pleas. Sesshōmaru teased her with merciless control, rubbing the head of his cock against the opening of her body.

"Oooh." She was moaning and shaking with unrestrained tremors and she – _wanted him inside_. A slant of her neck. Gazes colliding. His eyes were dark gold, visceral color, the baser parts of himself. He was watching her closely…and he was sinking inside. Inch by inch. Lust melted in pure sensation – muscles clenching, convulsions and fullness, the hiss of flesh and tissue as she was being stretched around him.

One twist of hips. Angle deep, intrusion deeper. Throb of want and ripped nerves. Kagome grew silent, denied him reaction as he denied her _this_. Craving. Urging. Slow withdrawal, tantalizing. Sesshōmaru was on the fringe of slick torture when he thrust _again_. One glorious, easy thrust. Fire snaked inside her like a writhing serpent, its scales hot and smooth, flaying off need and molding it into an inferno. It leapt out of her lips in an explosion of flares and incoherent words.

"Oh yes – yes – don't – don't stop –" _Please…don't ever…stop._

Pleasure spiked and raged, swelled inside every vein and artery, building with each spasm and moan. Her thighs were bruising against his sides, heels burrowing into the small of his back. Kagome was nothing but a tight knot of lust and sweat on the verge of unraveling. Release crested with tidal waves, washed over her and took everything with it. She was falling apart and screaming his name mid-frenzy and thrust. Tense contractions and the slapping of flesh and white-hot fire lapping at her from the inside out.

Seconds, perhaps even minutes, passed. When that knot of tightness uncoiled, Kagome was quivering with aftershocks, tiny sparks of satisfaction, breathless and with no sense of gravity. But _he was there_ , with her, inside her – pulsing thickness, edge staring into her eyes, gnawing on nerves ravished and burnt out. Quiet. Tense. Drawing back and pulling out, agonizingly slow. A last moan was wrenched out of her lips, shivery in its exhalation. Hard pressure against the flat of her stomach, viscous heat and the roughness of a groan.

Eyes heavy-lidded, Kagome regarded him with intrigue, tongue wetting her upper lip, gaze lowering to his navel, trailing down a pale tuft of hair – unabashed, curiously. The pad of a finger, all she dared to explore, mapping the expanse of his abdomen, and lower, tracing down the length of his cock, then up again, pressing against the slit, gathering the lingering drops. Kagome brought it to her lips, tasted the salt and potency of it; she shivered at the rumble that followed her action, the gold that stalked the motions of her tongue.

It was startling, too sudden. One moment she was standing…the next she was nestled between his legs, her back against his chest, cuffs of muscle and silk around her waist. A smile split her lips as the endorphin high ebbed into a sigh and murmurs of bliss.

"That felt… _so good_."

There was no acknowledgement – other than his presence and the warmth of his body. Uncertainty prowled inside her mind, tore into emotion with sharp talons and let it bleed out.

"Sesshōmaru…" Small pause. Breath hitched. "Was it good for you?"

He stayed quiet for one long moment, and Kagome grew more uncertain, anxious.

"Yes." Raw accent of sound. It soaked through layers of skin, rekindled the coals of need low in her belly. No air, no breath, nothing but the sliding of fingers, the grazing of nails, over slim bones and flesh swollen, dipping inside, lazy in their exploration. Kagome _loved_ those fingers, loved the nefarious things they did to her, not too deep, not too soft…she – _needed to speak_ _now_.

"Wait."

"You think too much."

"Well, yes, but –"

"And you talk too much."

"True…but that's not the –"

"I do not dislike it." Fingers invaded her mouth, rough-slicked and glissading across the flat of her tongue. "But for now –" Dazed by his voice and that sinful intrusion, Kagome tasted herself, sucked and took them deeper. Sweet and a little tangy, and underneath that, the taste of his skin, that crisp scent coalesced with arousal.

" _Feel_."


	27. New Low

The sky was still dark when _feeling_ became too much for Kagome and he let her rest. Sesshōmaru watched her sleeping profile. She was quiet breaths and lush curves, nested in his arms and gripping his kimono as if afraid he'd leave while she slept. His hand brushed by a few locks falling in her face, fingers slicking them back, curling and sinking into the black mass, but it was light touch, light pressure, not enough to wake her. A noise susurrated, murmur of a hum, and she burrowed deeper, closer.

Her skin was peach-soft, flushed with satisfaction… _human_ skin. His gaze mapped the redness where his teeth and nails had sunk into patches and strips. They were nothing more than remnants of animal lust, flesh-signs of what lying with yōkai meant. Sesshōmaru had wanted to cause them as much as he hadn't, liked seeing them as much as he didn't. Humans were too… _delicate_. It made him want to tease and bite her skin all the more so, if only to lick and stroke it afterwards.

Laughter rumbled in his throat, less laughter, more vibration, the leashed side of mirth, and she shuddered, lips moving on the hollow of his neck, breath warm and nuzzling him.

"Mm. Love…you."

His lips twitched; his amusement peaked. _Foolish woman_ …as if he didn't know. Sesshōmaru would have never touched her otherwise. It was she who could grasp nothing beyond what little she allowed herself to believe.

His arm tightened around her waist, muscle bulging and caging. It was laughable, ironically familiar, wrenched buried memory from the vortex of consciousness. Sesshōmaru was near two centuries old, barely out of adolescence, when he'd found his father with a human woman in the same position. He couldn't understand the words his father had spoken to him then because they tasted more like betrayal than love – and his mother had never breathed the word love, not even in her sleep, unlike Kagome. And the words Sesshōmaru had spat…he could still remember them as clear as the day he'd said them.

" _You have fallen quite low, even for you_."

If his father could see him now, he'd laugh uproariously and throw his own line in his face. Quite low indeed. But perhaps that was the point. Sesshōmaru still begrudged his father, if only for the boldness of his claim. It allowed his father to retain an iota of pride, despite pride being nothing but a useless tether, a heart's restriction.

A sigh slipped past his lips, full of breath and dragging on her cheek. Sesshōmaru rubbed his face against hers; his teeth nipped that too-delicate cheek.

_I should claim you soon…foolish woman._

* * *

Light crept under her lashes, bright sunglow, insistent. Kagome yawned with eyes yet closed, stretched languidly, or tried to. A hiss snaked out of her mouth with a muffled curse. She was sore _everywhere_. Places she didn't even know existed tingled with burning sensations. It felt… _good_ , the right sort of abuse, sinfully right. Teeth clamped down on her lip but still she shook with laughter. Her lids fluttered once, twice, then rose slowly.

Sesshōmaru was…gone.

All traces of euphoria withered away with a sucked inhalation. Kagome's gaze roved over the thick foliage, trees upon trees, bush after bush, frantic and more than a little unfocused. Green and brown and blue dominated her sight wherever she looked – but no sign of silver or white. Her heart plummeted in abyssopelagic deep, plagued with _why_ and _how_. Why did he leave? How could he leave?

Had she misjudged him when she reckoned that he'd at least be there when she woke up? Despite her daydreams of love and the seeking of love, Kagome was a pragmatist. She hadn't really expected grand declarations on his part, nor was she planning to extort one out of him. Just for him to _be there_ , say good morning, stare into her eyes and make her melt in seconds. She _loved_ his eyes, that honey-gold, the words congealed inside.

Teeth clamped down on her lip again, more vicious than before. Kagome garnered what little strength her body could muster, and stood. She loved those eyes, yes. But she wouldn't beg for them. A little dead inside, she took one step, and another. She cringed and grit her teeth. One more step. If Sesshōmaru didn't want to see her then she wouldn't impose herself on him.

Kagome reached Sango's hut half an hour later and flung herself into her arms, features strung and lips chewed raw.

* * *

She was…gone. Sesshōmaru had left her alone for less than half an hour to hunt for the morning meal, and the damned woman was gone. If that wasn't enough, he'd wage that her mind was probably filled with all kinds of ludicrous notions to make matters worse.

_Father…I must have fallen lower than even you._

Sesshōmaru almost…groaned.


	28. Talk Is Laughter

Kagome hadn’t spoken more than two inarticulate sentences to Sango when _she felt it –_ yōki stripped down to animal heat and seeking her. Sesshōmaru was nothing but a seething mass of energy and raw instinct. She shivered – and waited. Because _he was coming,_ and when he came…she just stared. His eyes held sun-fire, and in their centers, pupils black-thinned, aggression melting like hot metal.

“We need to talk.” More growl than voice.

It seared the flesh of her lips. Kagome licked them, and nodded.

He was gone before she could register motion. Sango raised a brow, as if to ask what was that all about, but Kagome had no answer to give. _She_ didn’t know. Bewildered, she shook her head, whispered some half-excuses, then followed the scorching footpath of his yōki deep into the forest. Confusion and questions gnawed at her mind with bitty, vicious teeth all the way there. Was it possible that she had misread him? Misjudged him? But how else could she have taken his absence this morning? She was still overwhelmed with that _how_ and all its splitting offshoots when his voice arrested her mid-thought.

“Why did you leave?”

Sesshōmaru was watching her intently, eyes smeared with fire-demand, and she blurted out the first thing that flashed in the convoluted film of her thoughts.

“Because you did.”

It was the wrong thing to say, she realized, though too late to take it back. His arm wrapped around her waist, shackling and lightning-quick. Breath was knocked out of her lungs as her back crashed against his chest. That arm was steel-binding, hot-skinned…and more than a little dominating.

“And you will do everything I do?”

Lips brushed the curve of her ear, maddeningly close. His voice was an insidious tease. She huffed, struggled feebly.

“That’s not what I mea–”

Teeth biting, toying with tender skin, too responsive. It inflamed her but not half as much as his words.

“But you will.”

Her struggles intensified, to no avail. His grip tightened, and Kagome hissed with feline furor. If this was his version of _talking_ then she didn’t want to hear what he had to say.

“Sesshōm–”

Tongue licking, igniting sensitive nerves, and his voice wet fire in her ear.

“Yes?”

She dragged her nails across the exposed skin of his forearm, scratching deep, and deeper.

“You said we’d talk.”

He merely chuckled. “We are talking.”

It rankled, his chuckle, his mockery, his teasing. Lips and teeth closed over that vulnerable patch of flesh below her ear, drew blood to the surface and _sucked_. Arousal spiked, poured into veins and arteries, mixed with anger and frustration. She shuddered, almost growled.

“That’s not all we do.”

“No?” Sesshōmaru spoke against her neck, throaty chuckle, wet sound. It seeped inside, coiled with arousal, made her angrier, wetter. Reiki spilled down the pads of her fingers and into the welts she’d inflicted.

“You…are you messing with me?”

Laughter met her frustration, sizzling hot and husky. His arm was caging her and fingers stroked high up her ribs until they were mapping the outline of her breast. A moan thrummed low in her throat when her nipple was flicked and pinched between them.

“I am only doing what I want – what you want me to.”

“I don’t –” Pressure, rougher, harder. _Harder_. Sesshōmaru bit down on the juncture of her neck and shoulder. She whimpered, hated that whimper, that she was dripping wet and _wanting_ him.

“You left.” Low, deep, no laughter. He nipped and licked the spot he had marked. “Did you think that was what I wanted?”

“You never say what you –”

“I do.” Another nip, another lick. “You only hear your own voice in that restless human mind of yours – and so now I must ensure you will hear nothing but mine.”

Kagome wanted to keep her denial for a little while longer – but the _words_ he spoke, the _things_ he did…infuriatingly sinful. Her spine arched; her thighs opened; her body melted against his. That arm loosened its hold, fingers trailing low, and lower. Layers of drenched fabric and those dexterous fingers, _rubbing_.

“Your method is very…controversial.”

She sucked in a panting breath, bucked her hips with each languorous circle and dip of his fingers.

“My patience has waned, and you deserve punishment.”

There was something dark, wickedly accented in that sentence, that rasp of voice, those grazing teeth, those scraping nails.

“You caa-ah…mnn –”

Fabric ripped, fingers stroking slick-hot flesh. Once, twice, and again. Then sinking _inside_. Sesshōmaru laughed, curled his fingers deep inside.

“Yes, I can.”

She _tried_ to speak…but all that came out of her throat was gasps, mewling sounds.

“Because you will let me.”

Soft tissue being stretched, stimulated to rawness and _that_ _voice_.

“You will moan my name.”

More stretching, more stimulation.

“You will beg for more.”

Back and forth, slow thrusts and decadence.

“And when you have no voice left, I will take your throat between my teeth and you will love that.”

“ _We_ aren’t…talking.” Breathless, full of moan and heat.

More laughter, more decadence. “You’re just…teasing me.”

“No.” Sesshōmaru stilled his fingers but didn’t withdraw them – and she _knew_ what was coming.

“I have barely begun.”

* * *

The night was falling and light was streaking across the sky in brilliant points of star-white and blue-green coruscation. Kagome lay spent and naked and draped over Sesshōmaru’s body. He was spread out beneath her – sleek muscle and lust-scent, sinews and flesh-heat, silence and echoes of laughter inside her. She should be sleeping…but sleep was the last thing on her mind. One slant of her neck, and she was staring into his eyes. Gold glazed with satisfaction but still sharp, still laughing.

“I’ve never heard you laugh before.” A low murmur, and hoarseness.

Her vocal cords blazed red-hot. She was _too_ sore, too ravished…too soon to speak. A half-smirk split the seam of his lips, told her he was too aware, too pleased… _too_ _much_. Kagome could only glare at him, though there was no vice in her eyes. His laughter was compensation enough for her physical state – and all the times she’d come undone. So many times.

“No one has.”

Sesshōmaru might as well have said _I’ve never laughed before._ Warmth flooded her insides and pulsed in tandem with her heart. She licked that half-smirk off his lips, ran her tongue over its arced edge and tasted his twisted pleasure.

“I love it – your laughter.”

She might as well have said _I love you._ The way his mouth quirked into a full smirk, how his laughter deepened into rumbling vibrations roused her suspicion. Kagome felt as if he was laughing at her expense now.

“I have heard that line before.”

She blinked, taken aback, brows knit together. “How can you have –” His tongue was in her mouth then. Sesshōmaru made her swallow his laughter and her voice and took her again.


	29. Right Time, Right Man

One month passed in the blink of an eye. Kagome spent her nights in the woods with Sesshōmaru and her days in the village with Sango. Her injuries were long since healed, and if not for Sango’s imminent birth, she’d have left already. It was nothing but an excuse, despite the truth in it. Kagome stayed because she wanted to be there for Sango and because Sesshōmaru was there for her.

Answers had come easily, seamlessly. Somewhere in between being held and being let go, Kagome realized that asking all the right questions was meaningless when there were no wrong answers. She didn’t need words – words were echoes that faded in the light of morning. It was the heat of skin and breath that lingered, the marks of lips and teeth in places that were unhidden, the tingling sensation of being watched, the promise of waiting and the fulfillment of that promise when night fell.

Sango asked her once if she was fine with things as they were. Kagome smiled – because what mattered and what didn’t were sides of the same coin – and Sango never asked again.

* * *

It was late summer and blazing hot when Sango gave birth to another baby girl in the midst of blood, sweat, threats of castration, and Miroku’s sexual innuendos in between much glaring and cursing. Kagome wiped her brow with the back of her hand when all was said and done, laughing, exhausted. That was the first birth she’d performed alone, and the first time without worry of possible complications gnawing at the back of her mind. There was simply no time to fret or panic in the middle of all that bickering. And they _still_ bickered – _she doesn’t have your nose_ and _you can’t touch her with your dirty hands_ and _what kind of name is Bushamon._

Kagome shook her head, stifling her laughter, and gathered everything that needed to be disposed. Once outside, she smiled at the restless children, stroking their hair and patting their backs, ushering them inside to meet their new sister. They rushed past her, squealing with overexcitement, and as usual, there was that tug at her heartstrings, that instinct wound around her senses…that _the time was now_. She bit her lip, then sighed. Her feet started moving again, dragging on the ground. When she entered her hut to burn the blood-soaked linen in the hearth, there was fire waiting for her. Fire staring at her, staring through her.

Sesshōmaru was sitting quietly near the fireplace. Kagome stood frozen for a few seconds, unsure what to make of his presence. It was the second time he’d ventured into the taijiya village, and unlike the first, there was no reason behind his coming this time, at least not to her knowledge. But he wouldn’t have come without one, that much she knew. One step at a time, bewildered, she walked inside. He didn’t speak, merely watched her with that natural keenness in his eyes.

Kagome cleared her throat, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Here he was, living perfection, immaculate like always, and she was probably a wild mess not even worth looking at.

“Should I…make tea?”

One dip of his chin was all he gave. Kagome nodded, busied herself with burning what she carried first, then washed her hands and brewed the tea. Half an hour had passed when she finally carried two clay cups and a pot of steaming green tea over where he sat. She sank onto her knees, bending forward to serve him, but his arm circled her waist and she was being dragged into his lap before she could do so. A gasp escaped her lips when she felt him at her neck. He was just breathing but there was tension and she was at a loss.

“Sesshōmaru…what’s wrong?” She spoke softly, melting against him, and that seemed to take the edge off of him a little.

“Blood.” That single word held gravity, fell heavy and hot on her skin.

Kagome frowned, taken by surprise. _Blood –?_ “It’s making you agitated?”

His grip tightened before it came loose like a wire of muscle.

“No.” Pause. Sigh. “Yes.”

Surprise turned into confusion, and she maneuvered in his arms until she found his eyes. They were bright gold, piercing intensity.

“I don’t understand, Sesshōmaru.” She licked her lips then chuckled, filled her words with self-sarcasm and dry humor. “Can you explain to this ignorant human what’s gotten you so worked up?”

It had the desired result. His eyes gleamed brighter, still piercing, but it was another kind of intensity. Lucent, teasing, warmth. He made a sound deep in his throat, a rumble of laughter, and nipped the smooth skin of her cheek. Kagome huffed, but she was soon laughing, and while she was laughing, she was kissing him. When she came out of the kiss for breath, the edge was back in his eyes…and something else, something _eager_. Eager _enough_ – enough to make her lightheaded, breathless. He spoke low and so close to her lips that she could taste him in each word – the edge, the eagerness, the raw matter of the words.

“You will bleed, and you will suffer, and you will curse me.”

And she understood… _the time was now_.


	30. Coming Home

Kagome lounged on top of the hill overlaying the taijiya village. She lay sprawled over Kirara’s soft fur, lulled by the low purrs of the nekomata. The sun was setting, the ambience darkening, thickening. It was quiet and calm, all the things that she wanted to be in this maelstrom of coming change.

Sesshōmaru’s words were swirling in her mind, sinking deeper as the hours passed, heavy with meaning and purpose. He was a proud man, chains of ruthless control, possessive and awkwardly…caring. In all fairness, Sesshōmaru made it easy to hand him the reins. Perhaps it was the aloof vibes he exuded, or that amalgam of maturity and enigma, or that he was a mass of testosterone and command. Kagome couldn’t tell what it was, but she didn’t much care either. All that mattered was that _he was hers_ —all the danger, the visceral sensations, raw and throbbing and full of lust-heat.

He made it easy to— _love_ _him_. Kagome smiled. It was oddly reminiscent of Inuyasha, always standing alone, never wanting to be alone. Like her.

Time was moving too fast and too slow. Her smile uncurled. She missed them—missed her pack and instant ramen and silly squabbles over the campfire. Things she lost in the change. It seemed so long ago since then…another life, another girl. What was left of that life, that girl? Did she still have those bonds? Inuyasha used to be her anchor—she used to believe that he would never leave her, no matter how onerous it became, how strained, how painful to hold onto. But he had left—all of them had. Perhaps it was for the best. The woman Kagome now was didn’t need those things as much as the change.

It had become so easy to slip into the façade she had perfected for their sake—even if it chafed like a second skin, poorly grafted over dying tissue, doomed to be rejected and expose a matrix of raw nerves. Sesshōmaru had trapped her like prey and torn apart the thick hide until he had bitten into softness and truth and ashes inked inside swollen veins. He had dragged her into the fire-silences, melted the skin of that girl, layer after layer, until only tender flesh remained underneath, nerves sensitized and overindulgence. It was in her nature to give until there was nothing more to be given, to want until there was nothing more to be wanted. She wanted it when she didn’t know what it was, and when she knew…she wanted it even more.

Sesshōmaru was the first man to give her what she wanted. Her smile touched the curve of her lips once more. Kagome placed her hand on the flat of her bare stomach. It was warm-skinned, soul-binding, and a little…terrifying.

* * *

Sesshōmaru searched for her after night fell as he always did. She was nowhere in the village…and he—he was a cluster of urges and agitation, stretched too thin and too far. He needed to find her, needed to keep her safe, watched. He— _needed_ _her_. Irrational need, instinct-glutted.

A shadow of silence, a beast shaped like a man…feral impulses, feral seeking, but too much awareness, too much intent. Mating bonds were nothing alike the word-promises of humans. He knew only the blood pulse and its primal rhythm. Blood, beat and madness, possession and fire-song. No darknesses, no endings.

Soon…she too, would know them.

The moment he found her, she was coiling around him with slim limbs and heat. Wet lips moving over the pulse at the hollow of his neck, grip tight and feeling tighter.

“I want to go home.” Nothing but a murmur, low and raw-throated, as she drew back slowly, agonizingly, the sound aching with _need_ and viciously feminine. She was flushed, breathless, eyes wild and glazed with want. Vulnerable, susceptibility, full of demands and _please_.

“Take me home.”

Sesshōmaru pulled her closer, inhaled her scent. Dipped in nectar, sweet intoxication. Cherry blossoms slathered on skin, crisp-pure-lightning, like lust and wildness—like _him_. Most of all, she smelled of him. Sesshōmaru stilled, drunk on her scent, instincts seething, painstakingly leashed. Fingers slipped between smaller fingers over the smooth skin of her stomach. It called to him, that part of him inside her, smelled like _home_.

“Aa.”


	31. Deep in the West

Miroku and Sango were still bickering over their youngest daughter’s name when Kagome stepped past the taijiya village’s threshold. Childish squeals and cries of _we’ll miss you_ and _come back soon, auntie_ carried on the autumn wind, drowned the sound of her footsteps as she walked away. Kagome waved back, and kept waving until she disappeared from sight. So loud, so happy. It almost didn’t feel like a farewell, and maybe it wasn’t. _I’ll see you again soon_. Kagome smiled, and for the first time, she believed in those promises. No more half-goodbyes, hollow smiles.

* * *

One week was all it took to come home. Nostalgia suffused her core, absent the bitterness of days long past. She missed it—this village and its endless symbolisms. A cage. A well of beginnings. A meadow of loneliness. A shrine for lost souls. A requiem for unfledged love. A place to return to.

 _Home_.

Kagome hastened her pace, heart drumming against her ribs, anxious, longing. The smell of medicinal pastes was the first thing she noticed before she even walked into Kaede’s hut, and when she entered, the humming of melodies not yet composed and Rin’s willowy form. Kagome had taught the girl many songs from the modern era while they ground and mixed herbs and spices in the mortar. It appeared that Rin hadn’t forgotten them. _This_ …above everything else, felt like coming home.

A smile lit her face, brighter than the sun. Kagome sucked in a breath, then let it out, emotion running free in her voice.

“I’m back, Rin-chan.”

A _thump_ resounded off the thin walls as the pestle slipped through Rin’s fingers and onto the floor.

“Kagome-sama!”

Rin was rising in a blur of motion and dark hair, flinging herself into Kagome’s arms, squeezing tight, salt-wet tears and warmth. Minutes passed before Rin’s hold slackened—Kagome treasured every second that languished under the girl’s outburst and affection.

While Rin gathered herself, Kagome’s attention was drawn to the cot near the hearth at the center of the hut. “And is that my Chizu-chan?”

She came closer with quiet steps and bent to peer into the cot. The six-month-old was napping, sucking on a pruny thumb, unperturbed by the earlier noise. Her eyes grew wistful, wide with wonder.

“Oh—he’s gotten so big…” Kagome dragged a fingertip over the softness of his cheek, around the curve of one small ear. A quirk of lips, more than a smile, triangular fur-white superimposing on round skin-peach. _Should I expect cute dog ears…?_ The question brushed against the upper layers of realization, but it was too soon to burrow lower and sink in deep. The flap of the hut being slid open and an old woman’s croaked voice interrupted the spontaneous path of her thoughts.

“Be that ye, Kagome?” A stretch of wizened skin, one eye uncovered and glinting with wisdom, miko garb flawlessly worn, Kaede was ever the same.

Smiling, Kagome pulled her into a hug, overcome with relief to find her teacher unencumbered by the maladies of old age. “I’m so glad you’re doing well, Kaede-bāchan.”

A snort whizzed out of Kaede’s nasal cavity. “Bah. These old bones o’ mine are good fer another decade. Save yer worry fer the little ones.”

Kagome arched a brow, taken aback by Kaede’s last sentence, but it was Rin who answered after they had all sat down with green tea and rice cakes.

“Chickenpox.” Rin’s gaze was downcast, a mixture of worry and guilt flitting across her face as she avoided Kagome’s eyes. “Five children have fallen ill this month. I’ve never had it, and I don’t want Chizukirō to catch it, so I’m not allowed near them.”

Kagome took Rin’s hands in her own, clasped them gently, reassuringly. “I’ll help. I went through chickenpox when I was six.”

Raising her head, Rin smiled, that feeling of helplessness in the hollows of her stomach assuaged.

“Are ye staying then, child?”

Kaede was as observant as ever. Kagome chuckled, nodded once.

“Mm. Probably.” At Rin’s confused stare, she bit her lip, cleared her throat. Awkward, abashed. “Well…it’s not my decision alone.”

“Indeed.” Kaede nodded sagely, then scoffed when she caught Kagome’s twitching lips. “I’m old, not blind.”

It was a struggle not to laugh, but Kagome held it in…barely. “You never change, Kaede-bāchan.”

“Hmph. I know that look in yer eyes, child.”

There was an old story secreted in those knowing words, filled with pining memories, unforgotten. Kagome regretted bringing them near the surface—and vowed to ask later when reminiscing was dulled if Kaede wanted to talk. Then Rin gasped as if struck by a bolt of enlightenment.

Bewilderment sprang from her vocal cords unprocessed and jumbled. “Is this true, Kagome-sama? Oh, that’s wonderful—I’m so happy for you! When did it happen? Who is it? Can I meet him?” There was intrigue, and exhilaration, and she was staring at Kagome as if she wasn’t who she was _supposed to be_.

Kagome winked at her, amused, and a tad mischievous. “You already know him, Rin-chan.”

Rin gave another wordless gasp, Kaede another sage nod.

“Aye, I thought so.”

* * *

Kagome gazed at the Bone Eater’s well, eyes unseeing, mind heavy. How long had it been since she’d last come to this place? A year…maybe more. It felt so long ago that she sat here with her knees pressed against her chest and arms curled around them—fraught with turbulent questions and desolation. Many of them still lay unanswered.

She sighed, thrust old-felt sensations into the dark matter of her core. A waft of breeze billowed flower petals all around her, and she nestled into the heat and scent that enfolded her body.

“I had forgotten how peaceful this place was.”

Sesshōmaru’s arms tightened around her waist, staking claim, shackling. There was no need for such restraints. There was no other place she’d rather be. Still…she liked it, the way he bound her, that he was bound by this _need_.

“You wish to stay.”

His breath fanned against her neck, over that ticklish spot behind her ear. She laughed softly, shifted until she was peering into his eyes.

“If I do?” Blue peeked through thick lashes, teasing gleam and challenge. “Will you stay with me?” She hummed, nose wrinkled, falling into rampant contemplation. “Where will we even stay? I can’t freeload on Kaede-bāchan forever—and you don’t like human villages. I’m a miko… I can’t just leave my kind. I want to help people—I want—”

“I know.” His voice inundated what little space there was between them, lapped at her skin, smooth ripples. It wasn’t censure but something else entirely—conviction slathered on gold luminescent. He had cut in on her ranting fit, hadn’t even allowed it to come to fruition.

“The West is our home.”

 _Simple_ —so simple, as if it was the answer to everything, and maybe it was. The corners of her lips lifted into a sassy smirk.

“You’re not going to build some fancy castle and be all proper-like Lord of the West now, are you?”

One twist of his mouth, and he was chuckling, deep-throated sound, on the edge of amusement.

“Such human aspirations.”

She snickered, couldn’t help but tease him more.

“So far beneath you, yes?”

Teeth grazed her cheek, nip after nip, playful revenge.

“Impudent woman.”

Kagome threw her arms around him, kissed him as she laughed.

They settled into silence after that, calm, content. It truly was peaceful. Kagome had begun to doze off when he spoke again.

“Mother lives in the skies. Father lived in the wilds.”

She smiled up at him, her smile sweet with hope. “And we?”

His eyes roved over their surroundings, taking in the meadow, the forest, the village, all the places she called home.

“In the plains.”

It wasn’t quite what she had imagined he’d say—and she loved him all the more for it.

“I’d like that.”


End file.
